Pooped Out

What a day. I had to be at the state softball tournament at noon. We have five local teams playing in the tournament... and that meant I had to shoot three games. In a row.

The first two games went extra innings, which meant I didn't have any down-time at all. So I spent six straight hours with a 20-lb. camera sitting on my shoulder. Now my right shoulder is all raw and red, and my back hurts like hell. Here's the best part: I get to shoot two more games tomorrow (not two in a row, thankfully), then shoot two football games. If my arm falls off, worker's comp better damn well cover it.

Speaking of missing limbs... how much would this suck?

Only One Day 'Till Halloween

If you still don't have a costume, try one of these.

Or use the suggestion made by the lovely Michelle Chardos (wife of a former co-worker) on tonight's newscast:

Paint a big letter "P" on the front of a shirt, then put black eye makeup all around one of your eyes. You're a black-eyed pea!!!

Hey... I thought it was kind of cute.

Oh, what a pretty flower...

What... that's not a flower? OUCH!!!

Arachnophobic like me?

Well, then you're gonna love this news item.

Hitting the Links

Cory took a half-day off work today, so we actually got to spend a little time together. We headed off to the golf course, and actually played all nine holes... a first for me.

A brief summary:
My Best Score: I shot a 5 (doubley-bogey) on the 82-yard sixth hole (par-three). That's right. I shot a five on the shortest hole on the course. Sadly, it took me three shots to get to the green. I could have thrown the ball further.
My worst Score: I shot a (gulp) 12 on the 257-yard fifth hole (par-four). That's an octuple bogey. So very pathetic.
Ball update: Two balls lost, one yellow, one blue (with little pink breast-cancer awareness ribbons painted on them). Zero balls found (the grass on the course was freshly mowed, so there really wasn't any deep rough to find balls in).

Cory claims I'm improving. He's full of crap. His best score, by the way, was a four (bogey) on the par-three third hole. And that's only because he three-putted.

Holy Crap!!!

I start writing the Great American Novel in less than three days! And I still don't have a plot! Help!

Happy 2-Days-Before Halloween!

My spooky link for the day: The 100 scariest movie scenes of all time. A few thoughts...

-Why do clowns creep me out? Check out #5.
-#14 was part of the lamest movie ever made.
-I laughed out loud in the theater when I saw #17. People turned and stared at me in horror.
-I saw #18 in my college film theory class.
-When I was a little kid, I probably watched #19 a dozen times on tv as a kid. All the other kids loved, it... I always found the whole movie more than a little disturbing.
-This scene gave nightmares for a week after I saw it... and this was just this year!
-Every time Cory hears Steeler's Wheel, he thinks of this scene from #41.
-I've caught this movie on TV a bunch of times, always really late at night. This picture makes #45 look lame, but it's some scary shit.
-Gotta love Large Marge: "And when they pulled the body from the twisted burning wreck, it looked like this!"
--#95 is another one I saw in Film Theory class, though I'd seen it many times before. Gotta love Dennis Hopper. What a creepy bastard.

LeBron Fever

Cory's taken control of the downstairs TV to watch the Cavaliers game. Apparently, he really wants to see LeBron James play. And yet, he claims to "hate the NBA." What's up with that?

Breaking News Alert

Dumbass.

Ah, Wilderness

Ok, I guess the shopping mall isn't exactly "wilderness," but I got a little nature there anyway.

As I was heading home from a shopping trip, I walked out of Marshall's to a gorgeous sky. It had been sprinkling for the last hour or so, and the sun was just setting as the clouds were starting to break up. The western horizon was a beautiful pumpkin-orange, with a ceiling of bluish-gray clouds hovering over it. The eastern horizon was an amazing shade of mauve, which gradually blended into lavender and then the bluish-gray clouds on top.

But the truly gorgeous part of the sky was the rainbow in the East, settled over the mauve/lavender/blue lower sky. Actually, it was a double rainbow. Just beautiful.

Ahhhh, the Weekend

For the second week in a row, my "weekend" has come a day early. I won't be making my usual Tuesday trek to Auburn, because my services are needed much more on Thursday, when the state softball tournament starts at the South Commons here in town.

For those of you that don't know, Columbus is sort of "Softball City, USA." When the 1996 Olympics were in Atlanta, Golden Park hosted the softball tournament, and since then, the city has built this great softball complex at South Commons. It was once home to a pro women's softball team, hosts a huge college tournament every year, and of course, the Georgia State Softball championship. Funny thing is, Georgia's kind of behind the times as far as softball goes. There are dozens of schools that still haven't made the transition to "fast-pitch," so the state association still offers state championships in both fast- and slow-pitch.

Anyway, the tournament starts on Thursday (my usual day off), so I'll be spending the day at the South Commons, shooting video of the half-dozen or so teams from our area that are competing for the state title. This is a big deal. How big, you say? Well, Jennie Finch is throwing out the ceremonial first pitch, so there's bound to be hundreds of hormonally-motivated men in attendance. Sure, she's a hell of a softball player. But if she looked like every other softball player in the world, nobody would know who the hell she is.

Fair. Balanced. Humorless.

First, Fox News sues Al Franken. Now, they've tried to sue The Simpsons. Seriously.

One of my co-workers loves Fox News. He claims "they're the only network that tells it like it is." Yeesh. If the world is really that obnoxious and sensationalized, then count me out.

Cory and I have actually reprogrammed our remote controls so that we can't watch it.

Hang a Left at the Giant Penis

In my lifetime, I've made many visits to Eastern Michigan University, but I always felt a little strange giving people directions around Ypsilanti, Michigan. Perhaps this is why. If you haven't ever been to "Ypsitucky," the "brick d*ck" really is the most recognizable landmark in the entire town.

I Hate Fantasy Football

Aaaaarrrgh!

Sweet, kind girlfriend that I am, I just offered to calculate Cory's fantasy football score for this week. Big mistake. We found out that he lost his "game" by less than ten points, and he's been bitching non-stop for the last five minutes.

Other reasons to hate fantasy games: I lost my fourth game in the NFL pool that we're in. I've been out of the running for the money for a couple weeks now, so I've just been playing for pride in hopes that at least I won't finish in last place. But after another piss-poor performance, I'm pretty sure I have the worst record in our pool.

The good news? College Basketball is just weeks away. The NCAA Tournament tips off in 4 1/2 months. Hopefully, I can replicate my financial success from the 2003 tournament in 2004... and earn back some of the money I wasted on our NFL pool!

Another Reason...

... To wish I lived in Michigan.

Holiday Gift Ideas

Cory's mom called today to see what we want for Christmas.

I think I'm going to tell her that Cory would love one of these.

We live in a sad, sad, world.

Attention Ladies

Don't piss off your husbands. They could sell your possessions for power tools and beer.

Jack-O-Lantern Visits the Psych Ward

I was pretty proud of the pumpkin that I carved for Halloween. Some people are a little more disturbed than I am, though. And I don't even know what to say about the Jesus-O-Lantern.

Something's Very Wrong With Me

It seems like all I do lately is sleep. Granted, I've gotten to bed a lot later than usual in the last week or so, but I'm finding it impossible to wake up in the mornings. Today, Cory had to get up at 6:30 to work the "Parade of Heroes," and I woke up just long enough to make sure that he got there on time. But then, I went back to sleep and didn't wake up until 1:45 in the afternoon.

Usually, this happens when I've just survived a hell-week. But work hasn't been too heinous lately. I'm only averaging about 55 hours a week, which is a pretty light schedule for me.

Any doctors out there? What the hell's wrong with me?

Birmingham, Alabama

Not to "dis" one of the South's greatest cities... but after reading about this, it sure sounds like Birmingham is the city that (to use one of Cory's favorite phrases) puts the "ass" in "class."

My New Look

So, I met with an image consultant a few months ago. She suggested a new haircut, some low-lights in my hair, and gave me some makeup tips. She also told me what colors and styles look best on me.

Surprisingly enough, she never suggested visiting "Mr. Bling" for some sweet custom teeth.

Random Lush Thoughts

Smirnoff Ice "Triple Black" isn't nearly as yummy as Smirnoff Ice.

All Kidding Aside...

As we all know, October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. So, in the spirit of being aware... take a couple minutes to read this.

Friday Five

Those weenies at the Friday Five were too busy to give me a list of questions for you... And I'm too lazy to come up with a list of my own.

Smite This

Apparently, God isn't a big fan of Mel Gibson's films.

Movie Night

Cory and I used his free tickets (a birthday gift from the station) to go see "Kill Bill" tonight. It really is a beautifully done movie, very visually stimulating. Violent? Oh yeah.

But here's what I don't get. People have really been raising a big stink because It's so violent, right? To those people, I ask, What the hell were you expecting????

A) It's a Quentin Tarantino film, for God's sake! You know, the guy who helped bring us "Pulp Fiction," "Reservoir Dogs," "Natural Born Killers," and "From Dusk Till Dawn."
B) The name of the movie is "Kill Bill." Not "Befriend Bill," or "Annoy Bill," or even "Mildly Injure Bill."

Seriously, you weren't expecting gratuitous violence? Come on.

Sleeper

I was so pissed off this morning. Cory and I had planned to go golfing around 9am, get in a quick nine holes and get back home so he could get to work by 12:30. I should have known that wouldn't happen when I got sucked into "I love the 80's Strikes Back" on VH1 last night. I got to bed more than an hour after my bedtime, and the alarm just never got me up. I awoke to the sound of the doorbell ringing when the pest control guy made his monthly rounds. Piss.

Technically, I could go golfing by myself, but I need the company. For one thing, I never see where my ball goes.

On the other hand, I won't go golfing in a group. Having Cory see me golf is humiliating enough, but I trust him not to laugh at me (too much). I had the chance to go golfing with a few co-workers later this week, but I'm seriously not ready for that.

What the F*ck???

If you've got a lot of f*cking time, and you don't mind downloading f*cking stuff, this is pretty f*cking funny.

Ummm...

This is just wrong.

Pac Man Fever

I just wasted nearly an hour of my life playing pac-man and simon at this website.

Finally!

A reason to watch the World Series: They're bribing us with Free Food.

Be A Part of Detroit Culture

Why slash someone's tires when you can stick a 12-foot nail in them?

Something's Rotten in Georgia

Specifically, the vegetables I bought at the grocery store tonight.

Our old apartment had one thing that our new apartment doesn't... a decent grocery store nearby. We lived just a half mile away from a Winn-Dixie (24 hours, to boot), plus a Piggly-Wiggly and a Publix. Life was good.

The closest grocery store to our apartment is a tiny little Lewis Jones store. To be honest, it's kind of a dump. The prices are pretty good, but the produce section always smells kind of bad, and the place is kind of old-looking. But, it's the closest grocery store by about two miles, so if I need something fast, that's where I go.

Not any more.

Tonight, I dashed off to the store to buy some veggies for salad. I got home, and the celery was kind of nasty and wilted and rotten-looking. I managed to salvage enough of it that I wasn't too pissed off. I'd also bought a green bell pepper, a nice small one that was just the right size to cut up for a salad. I chopped the top off of it, and a little worm was inside! Yuck! There was also a bunch of brownish-black crap in there (worm poop, I suppose). Ick, ick, ick. I was so stunned that I just shoved it down the drain, and then of course felt horribly guilty for sentencing the little worm to the garbage disposal.

So, of course, I had to go back to the store. Or more specifically, I had to go back to another store, much further away. What a waste of time (not to mention, money).


Oh, and then, when I was driving to the store, I was sitting at the light, looked in my rear view mirror, and the guy in the car behind me had his finger shoved in his nostril up to the second nostril. Seriously. And his wife was sitting right next to him. I couldn't stop staring. In fact, the car behind him had to honk at me before I realized the light had turned green.

Science News You Can Use

Last Month, we brought you ground-breaking research on the Five-Second Rule.

For October, a scientific breakthrough on Beer Goggles.

That's All?


Personally, I expected to score in at least the 80th percentile.

Tattoo You

I have a very small tattoo on my shoulder. It was a birthday gift from a boyfriend ten years ago.

I truly admire people who give up their bodies for art. And no, I'm not talking about getting "Billy Bob" tattooed on your bicep, or an assorted collection of skulls and knives that you thought were really cool when you were sixteen. I'm talking about people who look at their bodies as a canvas, and who look at their tattoos as an expression of their life journey. My friend Sandy's boyfriend has a very cool collection: He has a flag of every country he's visited in a row down his back.

I recently discovered Keith Alexander's Tattoo Blog, and it's pretty cool look at his work in progress.

Carnell for Heisman!

Ok, so I'm supposed to be unbiased, but this is my blog, and not my "professional" opinion here, right?

Why has nobody voted for Carnell Williams for the Heisman Trophy at www.voteheisman.com? Seriously. "Cadillac" had six (count 'em) touchdowns on Saturday. SIX! He got five of them in the first half, then just for good measure, got one more in the third quarter to break the school record.

Oh, and that Auburn school record? Nope. It wasn't 1985 Heisman Winner Bo Jackson's. The most Bo ever ran for was four in one game. So there.

An Apology

Sorry, kids, I just haven't been feeling very bloggy lately. I've been trying to make a concious effort to bitch less about work on my blog, and I've discovered that I don't have much else to talk about! Too bad, since this weekend was one for the record books. I wasn't particularly busy, which is really nice, but our shows kept going to hell in a handbasket.

One good thing that happened this weekend: Hockey season is finally here in Columbus! The Cottonmouths' home opener was this afternoon, and they won! It's the first 2-0 start they've had since they joined the ECHL three years ago. The one thing that really sucks, though, is that they play their Sunday games at 4:00 pm. That means I can only stay for about an hour to 90 minutes (at the very most) before I have to go back to the station to cut my highlights and anchor the show. If the score's 0-0, tough luck. I still have to leave.

But still, the home opener was great (what little I could stay for). Hockey is good for the soul.

Friday Five

This week's Friday Five is pretty lame. I'll try to spice it up by providing the most unusual items for each question.

1. Name five things in your refrigerator. Molson Canadian, 7 different types of Salad Dressing, 2 cases of Diet Pepsi, a month-old meatloaf, a jar of moldy salsa.
2. Name five things in your freezer. Baking Soda, Fla-Vor-Ice, 10 frozen pork chops, one stuffed Salmon Fillet, and an 8-lb Bag of Frozen French Fries.
3. Name five things under your kitchen sink. A bud vase, dozens of empty grocery bags, cleaning supplies, Raid, Dead Cockroaches (I assume).
4. Name five things around your computer. A cat toy, my IBNA "Best Sportscast 2000" plaque, a 2003 NFL Schedule, A ticket to a Wardogs Game, and a measuring tape.
5. Name five things in your medicine cabinet. Hair Dye, a jumbo pack of Immodium-AD, Crest Whitestrips, Paintbrushes, and Band-aids with Major League Baseball team logos on them.

'Tis the Season

To carve a pumpkin. I know that it's a little early for pumpkin carving, but I couldn't resist tonight. Our jack-o-lantern is pretty cool. I went to the "pumpkin masters" website looking to see if there was a picture of the pattern we used, but no such luck. So I'll just describe it... it's a cat's face. Very cool.

By the way, the pumpkin-carving racket is getting pretty high-tech. First, about ten years ago, there were the specialized cutting saws (so that the little brats can't chop their fingers off). Then, there were patterns, and software designed to make patterns for your pumpkin. Now, you can get freakin lite-brite pumpkins. Seriously.

No Comment

Yankees vs. Marlins??? As far as I'm concerned, the World Series doesn't exist.

Surrounded by Stupidity

Actual question overheard at the Post Office:

"Off the top of your head, do you know the zip code for Kentucky?"

The Streak Continues

Another great movie this week: Seabiscuit. I know, it's been out forever, and we'd intended to see it months ago. This week, it came to the dollar theater, and we couldn't turn it down.

Let's Hear it for Southern Hospitality

Someone left their heart in Atlanta.

Look on the Bright Side

Looking back on my blog entries from tonight, it sounds like my life is pretty miserable. Sure, the Cubs Lost. Sure, Jack Deveraux is dead. But one good thing happened to me today: Matt charged me $10 less for my haircut this time.

So I've got that going for me, which is nice.

Whip Out Your Reading Glasses

Another list of the 100 greatest novels of all time. I've read very few of them, because I'm an ingorant pain-in-the-ass.

In fact, we go all the way down to #25, Little Women, before there's one I've completed (though there are several that I've read parts or most of). I actually may have read Alice's Adventures In Wonderland in it's entirety, but I'm not sure, so I won't list it.

25. Little Women, by Louisa May Alcott
31. Huckleberry Finn, by Mark Twain
38. Call of the Wild, by Jack London
40. The Wind in the Willows, by Kenneth Grahame
52. As I Lay Dying, by William Faulkner
59. 1984, by George Orwell
61. Catcher in the Rye, by J.D. Salinger
63. Charlotte's Web, by E. B. White
64. The Lord Of The Rings, by J. R. R. Tolkien (Actually, three books. I own all three, but I've only read the first two)
73. To Kill A Mockingbird, by Harper Lee

I'm a little embarrassed to admit that three of these I read only because they were required reading in high school (#52, #59, #73).

What A Sap

Oh, by the way, I'm a complete sap. This pains me to admit, but I cried watching Days of our Lives today. They killed off one of my favorite characters, and I'm taking it a little hard.

What makes it much, much, much worse is that I realize how pathetic it is that I was crying watching a friggin' soap opera. I've turned into one of those crazy women who thinks she knows every character on her TV like they're a real person. Any day now, I'm going to start calling my favorite shows "my stories."

The Goat Strikes Again

There is no joy in Mudville.

As I left for the movie theater tonight, the Cubs had a 5-3 lead over the Florida Marlins. Not a commanding lead, especially after Tuesday night's fiasco, but enough of a lead to make me feel comfortable about going to a movie.

My little dream of a Cubs/RedSox world series just went down the crapper, with a 9-6 Florida win at Wrigley tonight. Now, pending the results of the ALCS and the curse of the Bambino, there could conceiveably be a Yankees/Marlins World Series. Is there anyone outside of New York and Miami that would actually watch that?

By the way, if you're at all interested in the origins of the "Curse of the Goat" and the "Curse of the Bambino," I've provided some links.

F*cking Cubs

Eight Runs.

Eight Runs in the Eighth inning for the Florida Marlins. I just don't know what to say.

Except that if I ever meet the fan that kept Moises Alou from catching the foul ball, I'm going to kick him in the a$$ so hard he'll taste my socks.

Real Men of Genius

Who, I ask you, is the advertising agency that Budweiser uses? Once again, they've proven their genius. For years, I've been listening to Bud Light's "Real American Heroes" and "Real Men of Genius" radio advertisements. (you can listen to a couple of them here)

Tonight, they took the whole campaign to another level: Television commercials on Monday Night Football.

There, before my very eyes, two "Real Men of Genius" tributes: "Mr. Really Bad Toupee Wearer" and "Mr. Foot-long Hot Dog Inventor."

Good stuff.

Propaganda? Our Government??

Say it ain't so!

Ahhh, but it is so. Apparently, the US military is sending out form letters, presumably from soldiers stationed in Iraq. Interestingly enough, the soldiers weren't even aware that they'd sent letters back home.

Medical Breakthrough?

...or practical joke?

CNN has recently reported on a breast cancer study being conducted at North Carolina State University.

I ask you... is this study the work of actual medical researchers... or horny frat boys looking for an excuse to get some action?

Beware, counterfeiters

Keep your eyes open for the new $20 bill.

Alcoholic Voters Unite!

In 1996, my roommate Darren and I held a kick-ass party during on election night. We decorated our house red, white, and blue, made red, white and blue jello shots, and invited about 50 people over to watch the election returns.

There were several simple rules. When you walked in the door, you were assigned a political party, and had to wear a name badge with either a donkey or an elephant on it (regardless of your own political beliefs). We turned the TV on CNN, and when your candidate appeared on television, you had to take a drink. Every time a state projected a winner, all of the people wearing that winner's party on their name badge had to slam their drink. By the end of the night, you really didn't care who the hell won. There were other rules, but much like the rest of the seven years I spent in Kirksville, it's kind of hazy.

If you're looking for a way to make the 2004 election a little more fun, check out the Democratic Debate Drinking Game. Have Fun!

The $87,000,000,000 Dollar Man

If you're anything like me, you don't even know which president is on the $100 bill. So as you can imagine, the concept of a million dollars, let alone 87 billion dollars, is a bit foreign to me.

This demonstration should help you visualize $87,000,000,000.

Alert: Internet Time-Waster

Spent about an hour on the Kill Bill website a couple of nights ago. If you have a fairly quick connection, it's worth a peek.

Base-Brawl

Wow. Like most baseball fans (or at least those whose teams are out of the playoffs), I've been rooting for a Cubs-Red Sox World Series. I mean, seriously... who's going to root against two teams who haven't won a World Series in a combined 180 years?

But then, I saw tonight's American League Championship Game #3, between the Yankees and the Sox. Let me make it clear, I really don't like the Yankees. But after the truly classless, gutless, and downright disgraceful antics of the Boston squad tonight, I don't think they deserve to win another game.

Political Musings

If you're wondering why I haven't blogged about California's new "Governator"... it's because I'm truly speechless. I really don't know what to say about the whole thing. I will, however, post some election returns, in case you're curious but too lazy to actually look it up.

Schwarzenegger 3,744,132 votes (49%)
Larry Flynt 15,464 (0%)
Gary Coleman 12,690 (0%)
Mary Carey 10,114 (0%)
Gallagher 4,864 (0%)

By the by, with 120-some-odd candidates running for the office, you may find it interesting to know that the porn-peddler finished 6th, the tiny actor finished 7th, the porn star finished 9th, and the melon-smasher finished 15th.

Friday Five

As the self-proclaimed "sportslady," this particular Friday Five appeals to me.

1. Do you watch sports? If so, which ones? I'm particularly fond of Hockey, Football, and Baseball. I generally only watch college basketball unless it's work-related. I really like the NCAA Basketball tournament (Won the office pool this year, yahoo!).
2. What/who are your favorite sports teams and/or favorite athletes? Detroit Red Wings, St. Louis Rams, any baseball team that doesn't play in New York or San Francisco. As far as players go, Steve Yzerman is #1 in my book. I'm also a big fan of Grant Wistrom, because, despite the completely insane hairstyle, he's "dreamy."
3. Are there any sports you hate? Hmmm. I don't like NBA Basketball, because it's all about showboating and being a star. I'm not a soccer fan, and I really don't like shooting soccer games for TV, because you don't ever get a chance to put the camera down and you could be there for two hours before anything interesting happens. I used to hate NASCAR, but now I have to admit I find it oddly appealing in a rednecky kind of way. I loathe most "outdoor" sports (hunting, fishing, etc) because I don't see the "sport" in killing things.
4. Have you ever been to a sports event? Duh. Some highlights: I've been to playoff games in all four major league sports, including all of the Pistons home playoff games in the 1989 and 1990 NBA Title runs, and the Rams Super Bowl XXXIV Championship. I've also seen the US Women's Soccer Team.
5. Do/did you play any sports (in school or other)? How long did you play? Ha! I'm a complete and utter clutz. I played basketball and softball in grade school, through RARA. Our basketball team was undefeated (thanks to one freakishly talented girl named Charlene), and our softball team was winless... usually losing via the "mercy rule." I really wanted to be on the swim team in high school, but I couldn't get a ride to practice that early in the morning, so I joined the diving team instead, because they practiced in the afternoons and could get a ride home with my friend Anne, who was also on the team. I really sucked at diving. When Anne and I got in a huge fight and didn't talk for a year or so, I quit the diving team (no big loss there). Other than that, I've lived a primarily sports-free existance. In fact, with the exception of my recent interest in golf, I spend most of my life avoiding sporting events of any type. I hide when people call the station looking for charity softball/basketball participants. I had a particularly humiliating experience a couple years ago while playing in an exhibition game against the Harlem Ambassadors, but we won't go into detail. Suffice to say, getting hit in the face with a basketball in front of half of the population of Kirksville, Missouri, isn't my idea of fun. It was like dodge-ball all over again.

Lost "Weekend"

Well, my so-called weekend has just about come and gone. Here, a summary of events over the two-day stretch:

1. Slept in. Of course, by normal-person standards, I sleep in most of the time. I complain when I have to be up before 11 am (remember that I don't get home from work until well after midnight).
2. Colored my hair... too dark. Stressed out about my hair color.
3. Went shopping at Ross and Marshall's. Bought a $10.00 silk blazer I won't be able to wear until next summer. But hell, it was ten dollars!
4. Made dinner. Grilled chicken breasts, broccoli, carrots and au gratin potatoes, if you care.
5. Saw "Finding Nemo." Very cute. I'm ashamed to say that I cried.
6. Went golfing this morning with Cory. We have a new system at Godwin Creek... we skip two of the three par-4 holes. It helps me to lose fewer balls. By the way, I lost one ball, found one ball, so I broke even. (By the way, two interesting things happened while golfing today: a) Cory was hitting his tee shot on the 2nd hole, and the club head broke off his five-iron and went sailing about 10 yards down the fairway, and b) Cory parred the 9th hole.)
7. Fell asleep watching Days of Our Lives. Woke up more tired than before. Had no energy to do much of anything, but a lack of clean underwear motivated me to hit the laundry room.
8. Was too lazy to cook dinner. Went to Smokey Bones BBQ. Ate way too much.
9. Went to T.J.Maxx. Bought a yoga ball for fifteen bucks. I'm hoping that the sight of it will inspire me to start doing my Fat-Blasting Yoga more often.
10. Bought a paperback: Four Blind Mice by James Patterson. Hoping it will inspire me during National Novel Writing Month.
11. Attempted to lighten my too-dark hair. It's a work in progress.

Ok. You're all caught up. Feel better?

Yet Another Sport I Haven't Covered

And I thought the World Beard and Moustache Championships looked like a good time.

The World RPS Championship is just around the corner. The best part? It only costs $5 more to enter the championship than it does to get a ticket. How could you resist?

Official rules are available here. See you in Toronto!

It's my Friday!

Whooo-hooooo!

Thank goodness I get a couple of days off... Monday just about killed me (job bitching below).

I had to come in at 11am to cover the Cottonmouths first practice of the season. Ordinarily, that's not such a big deal. I go in to work at noon on the weekends regularly, because nobody else is willing to record all the college and pro games for me.

The difference of course, was that this was a Monday. During the NFL season. And I work at an ABC station. Yep, that means Monday Night Football... and a very late night for the Sportslady and all of her unfortunate co-workers. The games start at 9pm, so we don't usually get on the air until about 12:45 or so.

Generally, we all root for a blowout in the game. Who cares who wins... as long as they get it over with quickly. Last night's game was looking like it would be that way. The Bucs were up 28-7 at the end of the third quarter, and things were looking good for a fairly early newscast. Then, Indianapolis decided that they wanted to win. They went on to score 28 points in the fourth quarter and send the damn game to overtime.

Long story short (too late, I know), I didn't get out of work until 2am. So, I started my shift on Monday morning, and didn't get off my shift until Tuesday morning. Fun stuff, huh?

My Poor Baby

In the last half hour, Zoe has:
a) Barfed all over the dining room carpet.
b) Pooped on the upstairs hall rug.

If it was just the poop, I'd think she was pissed at us. But the barf is something entirely different. I'm afraid my little baby is sick. She probably ate some nasty bug she found in the apartment. Poor little sweetie.

Only 25 Days To Go

Halloween is by far my favorite holiday. I guess it has something to do with getting to dress up and pretend to be someone other than myself for a night.

When I was a kid, my mom would sew me a costume every year. All the other kids at my school wore those god-awful plastic masks with the vinyl smocks, so I never appreciated the cool costumes that she made. (It's kind of like when you're a kid, you think McDonalds is the best food in the world). Anyway, one year I was a leopard, another I was a gypsy, and once (this one was the best), I was a conehead.

I still dress up for halloween whenever possible. My favorite recent costume was my Barbie Doll ensemble. If I can hunt down one of the pictures, I'll post it sometime.

Where is this rant going? Well, if you're looking for a costume this year, let me suggest one of these. You'll be the life of the party.

Alert the Pulitzer Committee

Apparently, First Lady Laura Bush's trip to Europe stirred up Dubya's creative juices. The President has penned a poem.

To Quote:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Oh my, lump in the bed
How I've missed you

Roses are redder
Bluer am I
Seeing you kissed by that charming French guy.

The dogs and the cat, they missed you too
Barney's still mad you dropped him, he ate your shoe
The distance, my dear, has been such a barrier
Next time you want an adventure, just land on a carrier.

That's right kids, a "C+" average at Yale University, and the best the leader of the free world can muster is "Roses are Red..."

A Moment of Silence, Please...

It's a sad night to be an Atlanta sports fan. The obvious news: The Braves choked yet again in the National League Division Series. Fair-weather fans (and the Braves have a lot of those) are already looking for another bandwagon.

But making that news seem so trivial... With opening day just five days away, the Thrashers' Dan Snyder died tonight, after being in a coma for six days.

Sharpen those Pencils!

We're less than a month away from National Novel Writing Month.
I'd actually love to write a novel. My problem is, I can write, I just have no sense of character or plot. If you have a plot and characters but no writing skills, let me know. Maybe we can collaborate.

Friday Five

Kids, I'm getting a little peeved. Nobody's been playing along with the Friday Five. I know it's lame, but think of it as the audience-participation part of our program. I post stupid easy questions, you take two minutes to answer them. It's easy, it's fun, it teaches us a little about each other.

I know you're out there.

1. What vehicle do you drive? A 1996 Red Pontiac Sunfire SE 2-door coupe. (Though my old friend Adam used to call it a "spitfire."
2. How long have you had it? Bought her brand-spanking new. It was the first Sunfire sold in Kirksville, Missouri (I special-ordered her). I used to park her at the end of our driveway, and my roommate Darren and I used to sit by the window and watch people stare at it when they walked down the sidewalk.
3. What is the coolest feature on your vehicle? I guess the air conditioning. When my mom came down to visit this spring, she & my dad shelled out the moolah to get it fixed.
4. What is the most annoying thing about your vehicle? The digital readout on the clock/radio hasn't worked for two years. It's not a big deal when I'm in Columbus, but once I get out of town and into foreign radio territory, I have no idea what station I'm listening to. Try to find a particular station when you can't see the "dial." It sucks.
5. If money were no object, what vehicle would you be driving right now? Hmmmm. Something sporty and showy. Probably a Nissan "Z." I'd look pretty cute in one of those.

Football Frenzy

Another week of college football has come and gone. Happily, Georgia Tech won. They're kind of my adopted team down here. I'm not sure exactly why I've started following them, except I'm always a fan of the "underdog." In fact, "Underdog" was one of my favorite shows as a kid.

For those of you who don't really "get" the whole college football thing, it's an entirely different experience in the South. Most of you know that I grew up in Michigan. Now, Michigan fans love their football. As evidence, Michigan Stadium is the largest football stadium in the biz.

But people in the south reaaaallllllyyyy love football. Everyone has a favorite college team, even if they didn't go to that college. Hell, they have a favorite team even if they didn't go to college. Or want to go to college.

But to show you how big college football is down here, this article should help you. People around these parts get downright homocidal when it comes to their teams.

It's official... I've made it

There's a gas station right by our apartment, and I stop there several times a week. Last night, when I was buying candy to smuggle into the movies (sssssshhhhh... don't tell), the cashier told me that she named her daughter after me.

How 'bout that?

The Streak Continues

Tonight at the dollar theater, Cory and I went to see "28 Days Later." Not surprisingly, we both loved it. I know this was one of those love-it-or-hate-it kind of movies, but as far as the Independent Horror Film genre goes, you just can't beat it. It's everything that "The Blair Witch Project" should have been, but wasn't.

The one thing that ticks me off is that we didn't stay until after the credits. Apparently we missed the much-talked about "alternate ending." Oh well.

Done Websurfing for the night?

You are now.

Fashion Update

Oh crap. I couldn't pull off preppy in junior high school. I doubt I can pull it off now.

Malpractice Suits Skyrocketing

Which is worse... Going to a doctor who does this?

Or going to these doctors?

The Big Screen

Cory and I are on a roll when it comes to movies lately. When we were in Michigan, we went to see "Lost in Translation" target="_blank" in an "exclusive engagement" at the Birmingham 8. It's truly a spectacular movie. If you've ever felt lost or alone (and who hasn't), you need to see it. It's smart and warm and funny all at the same time.

When we got back to town, we discovered that "The Italian Job" was playing at the dollar theater. We'd heard that it was pretty good, but never got a chance to go see it. And let's face it, every movie is better when you only play a dollar. Honestly, it was pretty good. Nice ensemble cast, good caper, believeable bad guy.

This week, the Columbus Film Society brought "Spellbound" to town (the documentary, not the Hitchcock classic). I should add here that I love documentaries, and that Cory studied film in college in the hopes of one day making documentary films. It was spectacular. At the end of the month, the Film Society is also bringing "Winged Migration" to town. I can't wait.

Surprise, Surprise

Rush Limbaugh has resigned from ESPN after saying something stupid on the air.

I know, you're stunned.

Not surprisingly, the remark that Limbaugh made was intended as a jab to the media. It just so happened that his remark also happened to be racist.

It's funny. Limbaugh was hired so that he could participate as "the voice of the fan." Instead he just brought his venomous anti-media obsession into a new arena.

To quote myself from September 9th:
Just to make the show even more obnoxious, ESPN has added Rush Limbaugh to the cast. It's amazing... even as a sports correspondent, he still blames the media for everything! The first thing I remember him saying is that if Bill Parcells is a flop as Cowboys coach, nobody will complain because Parcells is a "media darling." But then, he criticized the media for being too tough on other players who'd had run-ins with the law.

So long, Rush. Can't say I'll miss you.

Divided Loyalties

I can't decide who to root for in the National League Division Series between the Braves and the Cubbies.

I love the Cubs. I've been a Cubbies fan since the early 80s, when I discovered that they were on TV damn near every day when I came home from school (Wrigley Field still didn't have lights, so they only played day games). And I can always get behind a team that hasn't won a World Series in nearly a century.

On the other hand, I have a sort-of professional obligation to be a "homer." The media is supposed to be un-biased, but because the viewers are Braves fans, I have to be an Atlanta fan by proxy. Even more than that, if the Braves win, there's a good chance that I'd get to go to the National League Championship, and that would be pretty cool. I got to go to a NLCS game two years ago, when the Braves lost to the Diamondbacks.

I reaaallllyy wanted to go to tonight's game. Two days ago, tickets were still available (despite the fact that the Braves have won the last 12 division titles, Atlanta fans could care less. Nobody goes to see them in the playoffs), but I didn't have anybody to go with me. That's what sucks about Cory working nights and me working weekends. We don't get to do anything together unless one of us takes time off from work. Anyway, I don't have any friends, and though I considered going by myself, that seemed a little pathetic.

The good news is, Cubs fans came down from the windy city and bought out all the unsold tickets, so Turner Field has been packed with Cubs fans for the last two night. Now that's a city that knows how to treat its teams.

It just makes me sick

So much for that "breakthrough season" I've been predicting the Atlanta Thrashers would have. I heard about this on the radio this morning, and just about drove off the highway.

It also brings to light a topic we've discussed on this blog before... is there a "Madden Curse"... or more specifically, is there an "EA Sports Curse?" Dany Heatley was NHL 2004's cover boy, and he's hospitalized with a broken jaw and a number of other injuries (not nearly as bad off as his teammate, though). Michael Vick graces the cover of Madden 2004, and he breaks his leg in the preseason. That could mean some seriously bad news for Vince Carter, cover-boy of NBA Live 2004.

On the other hand, maybe it's just Atlanta that's cursed. I'm not so sure, considering they didn't fare too well against Kerry Wood and the Cubbies tonight.