The stockings were ripped open by the kitty with care

Merry Christmas from Zoe!

O, Tannenbaum

You might think that lighting a palm tree would be easy. After all, you don't need to contend with stiff, cold fingers, freezing rain, or leaning on an icy ladder.

You do, however, have to dodge the spikes. See, before a leaf on a palm frond becomes a leaf, it's a razor-sharp spike... much sharper and pointier than any pine needle. And they hurt like a bitch when they stab you.

Was it worth it? I don't know. The tree looks cute, sure. And it's nice to finally decorate for the holidays for the first time since we moved to Florida. But we finished with the tree an hour ago and my hand is still sore from getting stabbed repeatedly by an angry tree.

Speaking of Christmas, our little Zoe is now an internet celebrity. Sure, she's made plenty of appearances on our blogs. And she's had her own MySpace page for nearly three years now. But now, she's visible to all of Southwest Florida on the "Fox-4 Rising" website. When your daddy is the web coordinator at a TV station, he can make things like this happen.

By the way, the little Santa hat is photoshopped in. She'd never be patient enough to let us put a real hat on her!

A Very Skinny Christmas...

A confession-- We have a Charlie Brown-ish Christmas tree. I bought it for $30 at Target six years ago. It's about 6 1/2 feet tall, and maybe three feet across. But when you've lived in apartments most of your life, and have WAY too much stuff already crammed into it, an anorexic tree is the way to go.

The other nice thing: You don't need to buy many ornaments when your tree has an eating disorder. I bought a few packs of ornaments when we got the tree and re-painted a little tin tree-topper.

This year, I bought some fake poinsettia flowers, some little gold pears, a couple packs of gold jingle bells, and some weird gold foliage. voila! The tree is done.

It's pretty pathetic compared to some of the trees we had at the Festival of Trees. On the other hand, I wasn't working with a $500 minimum budget like those tree designers were!

We also bought some lights to put on our palm tree outside. Depending on how that turns out, I may post some pictures of that, too. Stay tuned.

Take a deep breath

Sigh.

The last few weeks have been insanely busy. Between preparing for the Festival of Trees, trying to find a dress and shoes to wear to our Gala (Failed miserably with the shoes. I have a blister on the top of one of my toes. How does that even happen?), catching up on a week's worth of work, attempting to figure out what kind of insane accounting system our folks used at checkout, and delivering expensive, fully-decorated trees, I'm pooped.

And guess what? Christmas is in less than two weeks and I have to start wrapping presents.

Fortunately, I always have a helper when it comes to wrapping:

Seriously. Could she be any cuter?

I've finished most of my shopping for my parents. I've barely started shopping for Cory.

I keep trying to fall back onto the fact that I paid for half of the suit that he bought to wear to our Gala... But I still have to get him something, and I'm kind of at a loss.

Maybe Zoe can think of something good. She seems to be more ready for Christmas than I am.

Festival of Trees

Christmas is weird in Florida. It's really hard to get into the Christmas spirit when it's 80 degrees outside-- and even in an unseasonably cool week like this one, it isn't exactly winter-like.

So, spending the last several days preparing for the Festival of Trees has been a little surreal. The interior of the art center looks like a winter wonderland... and outside, it's sunny and the only shade comes in the form of a palm tree.

Today, the decorators were all putting the finishing touches on their trees. I shot a little video with our crappy little camera... take a peek:

Wordless Wednesday

Forget your holiday poinsettia, your amaryllis, or your Christmas cactus. This is what was blooming in our yard on Christmas day.



The Festivus Bougainvillea is in Bloom.

I'd write more... but I wouldn't want to be late for work on my last day. They might fire me.

Oh... wait...

Merry Christmas!

For a while, I thought that Cory and I should go to the beach and take our pictures wearing Santa hats-- then post the photo on this site for you all to see.

Then, I thought maybe I could use our new webcam (more on that later) to post a Christmas video from the two of us (three, if Zoe is feeling cooperative).

Finally, I came to the realization that you don't need to see us. You need to see something much, much cuter. If these little furballs don't warm the cockles of your heart, then you may want to go get your cockles x-rayed-- because there's something wrong with you.



Really, aside from otters holding hands, is anything in the world cuter than baby pandas wrestling?

Sigh of Relief

I had such a happy thought today-- I'm done Christmas Shopping!

Usually, I start Christmas shopping months beforehand, but because I've been nervous about my job (apparently with good reason) for several months, I put it off until December. And I'm already done! Hooray!

Because of my impending unemployment, there are a lot of people I didn't buy gifts for this year. And we're not sending Christmas cards for basically the same reason. So if you don't get a card (or a gift) from me this year, don't be surprised.

So anyway, I had that happy thought... and then I realized... I doubt Cory's done much shopping for his family. And they're going to be here in a week.

Crap. I guess I'm not done shopping after all.

Ah, Christmas...

Some call it the "season of giving."

Others call it the "most wonderful time of the year."

For still others, it's The season when their electric bills skyrocket because of elaborately lit displays... Unless, of course, you can think of a more "environmentally friendly" way to display your Christmas spirit.

Like maybe an electric eel-powered Christmas tree? And no, I'm not kidding.

Dreaming of A "Green" Christmas

Here in the Sunshine State, it's never really "Beginning to look a lot like Christmas." Instead, the warm weather means that the holidays sneak up on you. For example, the first Salvation Army bell-ringer I ever saw here was wearing shorts and a tank-top with her Santa hat. You'd never even know Christmas was on the way if it weren't for neighbors who decorate their yards with thousands of twinkling Christmas lights. (often in their palm trees-- also a little odd the first time you see it)

But this time, when I say "Green Christmas," I'm not talking about the Florida weather. This time, I'm talking about the Al Gore-type green. (And on a side note, did you catch Al Gore on "30 Rock" last week? His cameo was great! His best line? "A whale is in trouble! I have to go!" And then he removed his suit jacket a la Clark Kent. Good Stuff)

Those twinkle lights take up a lot of electricity. And in a place like Florida, where we're suffering from a nasty drought, there's a good chance that they could start a fire. Very un-Christmasy.

But, modern technology is making a better, greener Christmas. How? LED holiday lights! Light-emitting diodes use 1/10th of the energy of standard incandescent Christmas lights. Even better, they also create virtually no heat so they're safer, too.

And-- even if you don't care about the environment (and shame on you if that's the case), there's another benefit. If you're like me, you've always dreaded the day you put up the tree because of the remarkable pain in the tuckus that those light strings create. The bulbs break-- or fizzle out-- and suddenly, an entire string of lights doesn't work because of one cruddy bulb. Or, even worse, no matter how neatly you stored the light strings, they emerge from your basement/attic/closet in one giant tangled wad. I've been known to make a special trip to the store to buy a new light kit-- just so I wouldn't have to untangle the lights I already had.

Well, the folks who make these LED lights say they're nearly indestructable. And the wire? Tangle-resistant. Save the planet, save your sanity.

It's a Festivus Miracle!

This Post brought to you by: Holiday LEDs.com

El Cheapo

That's me, El Cheapo.

Given any situation, I'll try to take the cheapest way out. When I bought brand-new custom-made pink golf clubs, I got them from a guy who makes golf clubs at the flea market. When I go on vacation, I take the cheapest direct flight I can possibly find... even if it means flying at 7:00 in the morning or 11:00 at night. When I rent a car, I use an online coupon for an academic fraternity that I wasn't even a member of.

The best? When a restaurant has an online club, I always sign up, because I know that somewhere, buried in all the spam I'll get in December, there'll also be a coupon for a free birthday meal. I heart a free birthday meal. Of course, I sign Cory up, too. That way, we eat for free in September and in December!

Now, I'm not so cheap that I'm willing to make a scene in a store, or demand a discount on something because "It looks like the box has been opened." I worked retail long enough to know how obnoxious those people are. But if I can find a legitimate way to get some money off without making an ass of myself, I'll do it.

That brings me to online shopping. I love to shop online because I don't have to deal with people, and because the prices are usually good enough that they balance out the shipping costs. And who doesn't like getting a package in the mail, right?

But the best part about online shopping-- is that you can always find coupons online if you're willing to hunt for them. Sometimes you can get 10% or more off, sometimes you can snag free shipping. I have a few favorite coupon-hunting websites-- And just today, I found another good website for Online Coupons. They have coupons for Sierra Trading Post, where I recently bought a couple of adorable skorts for golfing. That's right, I said "skorts." They're coming back in style... really! Oh-- and they also have Target.com coupons... which (I've discovered) comes in very handy when buying gifts on people's baby registries. They also have a bunch of stores and websites I've never even heard of before-- but with Christmas coming, I may have to check all of them out! They have an alphabetical listing-- so I might just have to start at the A's and work my way down!

It's funny to think of Christmas being on the way-- it's about 80 degrees and sunny here today. And we went to an outdoor concert two nights ago. Last year, Christmas totally snuck up on me... so I'd better start shopping now!

This post brought to you by: NC Natural.com

Ho, Ho, Ho-ly Crap, that dude's scary!!!

I found this last night-- pictures of kids terrified of Santa. I have many favorites, far too numerous to list here. Ok... well, maybe just one. Billy Bob Thornton didn't look as hung-over in "Bad Santa."

Are You Ready for Some Shopping?

"Black Friday" will be upon us in a little more than a week. And if you just can't wait until that 10-pound newspaper arrives on Thanksgiving morning... you can plan out your Black Friday excursion right now at Black Friday.com.

'Tis the Season...

...to start shopping. Today, the Christmas shopping season officially began for your favorite Sportslady. I bought two presents at my favorite store, Sam's Club.

And no, I didn't buy anyone 48-ounce drum of pinto beans. But I could have.

The Mystery Blogger Strikes Again

Hey Gang!

I know, I know... it's been nearly two weeks since you last heard from me. Sorry. I've been crazy busy and I still am, to be honest.

Jan and Steve came down for Christmas, which kept Cory and I dusting, vaccuuming and scrubbing for the entire week leading up to Christmas Eve. The Holidays were nice, and it was very nice to get two (that's right, two) weekends off in a row to spend with Cory. That honestly hasn't happened since before I moved to Georgia, well over three years ago.

Technically, this week, I'm supposed to be on vacation. But I'm not. I'm in New Orleans right now, covering the Sugar Bowl. Cool, huh? Not really. I worked about 11 hours yesterday, and I'm in for another just like it today. Ugh.

But, if I have to work when I'm supposed to be on vacation, I'd much rather do it in New Orleans than in my crappy, cockroach-infested office. At least I have my priorities straight.

Cory and Jan also came down here to the Big Easy. I suspect they're having much more fun than I am.

I wrote a great entry earlier detailing my first day in the Big Easy, but this crappy laptop computer ate it. Here's hoping this one hits the information superhighway in one piece.

Holiday Checklist:

Assemble and decorate tree... check!
Buy presents... check!
Wrap presents... check!
Design Christmas Cards... check!
Mail Christmas Cards... check! (55 so far... but there's a handful of people who's addresses I still need)
Mail Packages... check! (I love, love, love the automated kiosks at the Post Office. We mailed our gifts at 1am without having to stand in line)
Clean Apartment... ummmm... it's getting there. The downstairs is mostly clean.
Grocery Shopping for Christmas dinner... not even close. We'll be eating peanut butter, saltines, and Del Monte canned corn if I don't get to the store soon.

Jolly Holidays!
Cory and I spent about two hours trying to take a "Christmas" picture the other night, so that we could give a copy to his mom for the holidays. Two hours of lighting, posing, smiling, cropping, and this is the best we could do.
Sad.

Setting a Bad Example

I've been such a bad blogger lately. I get so frustrated when my friends don't blog on a regular basis and I'm unaware of the daily minutae of their lives. Yet, here I am, blogging only once a week.

You'll notice that I'm barely keeping up with my 52 books... after being ahead by four or five weeks most of the year. See? I haven't had time to do much reading, either.

Last week was a fairly busy one, despite the fact that I got to take four whole days off. I spent one of my days off Christmas shopping and two more whole days cleaning the apartment for the impending visit from the parental units. The apartment, by the way, is still a mess... by traditional standards. By our standards, it's pretty much immaculate. I'm sure that those of you who know me well understand.

I also spent some time making this year's Christmas cards. I used to make my holiday cards every year, and I put a lot of work into them. But as I got busier and busier, my cards got uglier and uglier... until pretty soon I was just phoning it in.

This year, I put actual effort into them. However, I'm still not done with them. By the way, I may not have your address... so if you want a card, you need to email me.

Other accomplishments of the last week? I got to bring home the pottery I created in class over the last two months. I have to say, it's some pretty ugly stuff. A couple of the pieces aren't too bad... but those are the ones I'll probably end up giving to people. Cory took one in to work to use as a tiny candy dish on his desk. An ugly tiny candy dish, I might add.

Oh, and the Girlie Men won their regular season finale. I beat the league-leading Waukesha Blackazzez for the second time this year. Waukesha only lost four games all season, so it's pretty good that the Girlies topped them twice. The "playoffs" start next week-- it looks like I'll either play the Kirksville Vikings or the Kirksville Cornfed-- I'll try to post an update soon!

Two More Holes in My Head

Oh sure, I'm about two decades too late, but today, I got my ears double-pierced. It's been well over 25 years since the first time I got my ears pierced, and I had to deal with an icky infection for what seemed like forever. The memory of all that unpleasantness was more than enough to keep me from doing it again, even when everybody I knew was getting it done. So here I am, in my mid-30s, doing something that most girls do when they're 15. Yep. I'm a dork.

I had one big decision to make: Where to get my ears pierced. At our mall, Claire's is located right next to the Piercing Pagoda. It was a no-brainer. The average Claire's employee is about 17 years old. The women at the PP looked about my age.

First thing she says to me: "I bet you got a nice pair of diamond earrings for Christmas." I said yes, and she told me that's the main reason adult women get their ears double-pierced. I felt a little less dorky when she told me that. Now I just have to wait a month and a half before I can take out these ugly little studs.

Tis' the Season

You know the holidays are over when you've finally played with all of your presents. Today, I finished installing one of my coolest gifts, XM Satellite Radio. Jan and Steve gave me the "Sky-Fi" system for my birthday, and Cory gave me the car adapter set for Christmas. It's seriously cool. For the first time since our ESPN Radio station turned into a gospel/latino station, I now can listen to the Dan Patrick Show either at home or in my car! Hooray!

I suppose at this point, I should mention that I'm a spoiled rotten only child. Even when I was a little kid, and we didn't have a lot of money, I always got tons of presents on Christmas. Even now, at the ripe old age of twenty-fourteen, I'm still pretty spoiled. It also doesn't hurt that my birthday is just two days after Christmas.

Last year, Jan and Steve got me this very computer for Christmas (along with a bunch of other cool stuff). This year, in addition to the XM, they also gave me a really nice digital camera (see the very cute picture of my cat below). I've played with almost all of my new "toys." I've already worn all my new clothes, and I haven't yet taken off the beautiful earrings that Cory got me. I still haven't watched my Winged Migration DVD (you may remember how disgruntled I was when I didn't get to see it at the theater). I still haven't gotten to play with my new golf clubs, either.

As for giving, I try to give good gifts. I really do... but this year I felt so uninspired. Maybe it's because I had to get all my shopping done by the first week of December. I just couldn't think of anything good to give anyone. Cory's easy enough... He always sees little gadgets he likes, so I just keep a mental checklist. Jan and Steve are another story. They're already pretty difficult to shop for, but living 900 miles away makes it a lot harder. For example, one of the gifts I got my dad was a computer game that I thought he'd really like. Only one problem: His computer's on the blink, so he won't be able to play it.

The next gift-giving challenge: Jan's Birthday, at the end of the month. I think she's going to come visit us for her birthday, though I still have to clear the time-off with work before she can make any plans. I still have four weeks to figure something out for her birthday.