This Should Do The Trick

See, the reason nobody's found Saddam yet is because nobody's really been given the incentive.

Wedding Day, Part II

So, as I said before, Nicki looked like a fairy princess (just like every bride should). The wedding went really well, then we headed out to the limo. I promised a photo of the limo to a couple of people, but the best pictures I took came out really blurry. Cory took one out of the window of the car, which was a much clearer shot.


That's right, kids. The limo was a friggin' Humvee.

A funny story behind the limo. Nicki was debating between two different wedding dresses, one more conservative and flowy, the other with a corset and very cleavage-y. The poor girl just can't decide between the two. Then she and Walt go to the limo guy, and decide to get the kick-ass Hummer limo. At that point, she decides she has to go with the busty dress, simply because she'd look silly getting out of the Humvee in a conservative flowy gown. I think it was a great choice.

So, we get into the limo, and there's plenty of room for the bride, groom, and all 12 other members of the bridal party. We were pretty well stocked with Captain and Coke, along with a couple of six-packs. We just drove around for a while, then Teri and I convinced everyone we needed to stop for Boone's Farm (long story, I'm sure I'll share it at some point). The Boone's was a big hit, which makes sense since the pastor at the church told me that the communion wine was actually MD20/20, aka "Mad Dog."

We get to the reception hall, and Nicki and Walt rode off on a golf cart to take "fun" pictures on the course. The bridal party camped out in front of the hall and got hammered. Good example for our arriving guests, I think.

I'll contine the wedding night frivolity tomorrow.

They Like Me! They Really Like Me!

For the first time in ages, I've actually felt appreciated at work. It took a weeks vacation to accomplish that. I guess, in the words of the 80s hair-metal band Cinderella, you really "Don't Know What Ya Got 'Till It's Gone."

Apparently, Sports Overtime last Friday was a complete train wreck. I don't actually think it had much to do with my absence, but several people in production saw the correlation. All day on Friday, I kept hearing "Thank God you're back, now we'll have a good show this week."

I can't recall the last time I actually felt appreciated at work. In fact, I'm not sure I've ever felt appreciated. It was pretty nice to hear.

By the way, the show went really well. Once again, I don't think it had much to do with my presence, but if that's what my co-workers want to believe, who am I to burst their bubble, right?

Another Obligatory Sports-Related Posting

Hooray for the Detroit Tigers!

Today, the Motor City Kitties had the opportunity to tie the major league record for most losses in a season, held by the 1962 New York Mets. In homage to the Tiggers, I wore my Detroit Tigers t-shirt to work today.

It wasn't looking good for the boys. They trailed 8-0 to the Minnesota Twins going into the bottom of the seventh. I went to dinner, convinced that I'd jinxed my team by wearing their colors.

Then I returned from dinner, to find the following headline on ESPN.com: Tigers Erase 8-Run Deficit to Avoid 120th Loss.

Now, the Tigers aren't out of the woods yet. They still have one more game this season, tomorrow afternoon. But at least they can go into the game knowing that the worst they can do is tie the Major League Losses record.

Hot off the Associated Press Wire:

Here's a disturbing thought... Apparently, nearly 20% of Americans Enjoy Dog-Fighting.

America's most hated sports (Listed by percentage)
1. Dogfighting 81.4
2. Pro Wrestling 55.7
3. Bullfighting 46.2
4. Pro Boxing 31.3
5. PGA Tour 30.4
6. PGA Seniors 29.9
7. LPGA Tour 29.2
8. NASCAR 27.9
9. Major League Soccer 27.6
10. ATP Men's Tennis 26.5

Also:
NHL 25.4
Arena Football League 24
Indy Racing League 23.7
Women's College Basketball 22.2
Women's Pro Basketball 20.1
NBA 19.7
Major League Baseball 17.5

The Sportslady... broadening your horizons on a daily basis since 2003.

Friendster Update

According to the fine folks at Friendster, I now have four friends. That means I'm connected to 8,601 people in my "Personal Network," utilizing the six-degrees-of-separation theory.

I guess what I'm saying here, is that if you're my friend... and you're on friendster... can I be your friend officially? It's pretty depressing to just have four friends. Not as depressing as being the oldest (and only unmarried) bridesmaid at a wedding... but still depressing.

Happy Un-Birthday, Steve!

I suck. Friday was my dad's birthday, and I never got to call him.

As you've probably surmised from my bitchy friday posts, Fridays are my truly crappy day at work. Once 6:00 or so rolls around, I'm completely tied up until after midnight. Tonight, I honestly thought I'd get a chance to call him. The two games I had to shoot were supposed to be blowouts, and I figured I'd get back to the station by 9p.m. That gives me about 15 minutes to myself before the sh*t starts to hit the fan.

Well, I had to stay until halftime of my first game. That meant that I was about 30 minutes behind. I got to the station around 9:45, and the you-know-what started hitting the fan shortly thereafter (the fact that I had a defective camera didn't help matters any). So, I work on the show, I do the show, I do the proof-of-performance promos after the show, and I have a chance to breathe. Too bad it was after midnight by that point. Not only was Steve asleep by the time I called, but it wasn't even his birthday anymore!

So, if you're reading this... happy un-birthday. Hope it was a good one.

No Friday Five This Week

The fine folks at the friday five are on vacation. What's up with that?

In lieu of a friday five, I submit my results on the Myers-Briggs Personality test. Sort of a Friday 48.

ESFP - "Entertainer". Radiates attractive warmth and optimism. Smooth, witty, charming, clever. Fun to be with. Very generous. 13% of the total population.

Take Free Myers-Briggs Personality Test

The Obligatory Sports-Related Post

This is a championship tournament I think we could all enjoy.

Wedding Day, Part I

I realized that I'm now nearly a week behind on my vacation recap. So, let's head into Saturday morning. Got up pretty early, so that Cory could drive Crackhouse Nicki (Bride), Michelle (Bridesmaid #2), and I to get our hair done. We took off around 8:15 in the morning.

The highlight of the drive? Nicki's description of the food that we'd be eating at the reception later that night. To quote her directly: "...and then they slap down this hunk of beef that's so stinkin' tender it frickin' melts in your mouth..."

Seriously, with a description like that, how can you resist?

The stylist did a nice job with my hair. I've got it cut just above my shoulders, so I wasn't expecting to be able to wear it up. Not only did she put it up, but it looked great.... kind of like a giant blonde flower on the back of my head. Teri (Bridesmaid #4) said it looked like "wood chips," but she actually meant that it looked like curled wood shavings (like if you used a plane). My dad later decided that it was oak.

Off to the church we go. We get there a few hours before the wedding and immediately run into some snags. Michelle and I have left our dresses locked up in the Pastor's Office... but he's not there. Nicki's bridal gown was also AWOL. So while some of the bridesmaids got dressed, the three of us just fretted. And did our makeup. Repeatedly.

The gown managed to arrive about 45 minutes before wedding time, but since it had a big lace-up corset, we needed that time. We were planning on taking pictures of all the bridesmaids before the wedding, but that didn't happen, since we were all still primping when it was time to get the show on the road.

The wedding went off swimmingly, and despite her nickname, "Crackhouse Nicki" looked like a princess. More on the wedding and reception tomorrow. It's past my bedtime.

Elvis Lives

Cory and I are watching A&E Live By Request, starring Elvis Costello. We have an ulterior motive, though. We're looking for a peek at our friend Mike, who was in attendance at tonight's concert.

Democracy In Action

It's fascinating what kind of information you can find about yourself on the internet. I googled my name tonight, and after sifting out all of the websites about the Danish Actress that shares my name, I was left with a brief list (interestingly enough, I found a few more sites when I spelled my name incorrectly).

My name appears in a number of NBA media guides, along with the website at work, and the program for Truman State University's 1998 Undergraduate Research Symposium. My name also appears on one of Mike's blog pages.

By far, the most interesting was this website. Apparently, I'm the 123rd sexiest female news anchor in the world (despite my bad publicity photo). So come on, rock the vote! With your help, maybe I could become the 122nd sexiest anchor on TV!

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

That's right. It's Clinique "Bonus Time."

Belated Vacation Update

So, on Friday, the main mission was to buy Walt and Nicki a wedding present. Easier said than done. Most of the stuff on their registry at Target was already bought, so off we headed to Linens-n-Things (or as I kept calling it, "Linens-n-Sh*t"). Plenty of stuff all still on the registry there... but all of it was either little stuff (kitchen utensils, napkin rings, wine glasses), or too large (furniture-type stuff). We wandered around aimlessly for a while, picking out glassware and deciding that her plates were too ugly for me to support (Sorry, Nick, if you're reading this from Aruba. Oh, and if you haven't opened your gifts yet, don't read the next paragraph!).

Finally, it dawned on me that towels would fit much better into a gift bag... and would be much lighter for Cory to carry into the reception. So I polished off the towels on her registry, threw in a couple placemates, bought them a set of cute shot glasses, and called it good.

We did other stuff on Friday (at least, I'm pretty sure we did), but mostly all I remember doing is shopping and doing my nails (silver on my toes to match my wedding shoes, french manicure on my fingernails to class it up a little).

Later that night, we headed out to meet my friend Susan, who I only see about every three years. We met her for a pitcher of Labatt Blue and talked about the "good ol' days" for a while, but we couldn't stay out too late, because I had to get my hair done at 9am for the wedding.

It was great to see Sue (my only still-single friend from Michigan), and she reminded me of a lot of funny stuff that I'd completely forgotten. My favorite? The time that I got Joe Kocur's autograph on a birthday card and sent it to her. She opens her mail on her birthday, and there it is, a birthday card signed "Your Friend, Joe Kocur."

Good Times.

Queer Eye for the Restaurant Guy

I'm very disappointed in the folks at Bravo/NBC... first for hiring actors for their "reality" shows (wow... big surprise there), but then for not having the smarts to disguise it.

On Bravo earlier tonight, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. The Fab Five gave a makeover to Alan, a 25-year old real estate speculator.

Later on Bravo, "The Restaurant," a show that had a brief half-season run on NBC a few months ago. Lo and behold, one of the Restaurant's waiters just happens to be our wannabe real-estate tycoon from Queer Eye.

I suppose with only 8 million people living in New York City, that's perfectly reasonable, right?

Still Running Behind

Ok, so I'm five days late on the Friday Five. Give me a break... I was on vacation.

1. Who is your favorite singer/musician? Why? Honestly, I don't have one. I love listening to disco and music from the 1980s because they make me feel young.
2. What one singer/musician can you not stand? Why? I'll give you two: Tori Amos and Jewel... basically for the same reasons. They whine. Their lyrics sound like the same crappy poetry that every junior high school girl writes when they think they're "deep." Are they talented? Sure. But that doesn't mean I want to listen to them. Ever.
3. If your favorite singer wasn't in the music business, do you think you would still like him/her as a person? I don't like most people in general, so probably not.
4. Have you been to any concerts? If yes, who put on the best show? In addition to concerts I've paid to see, I worked for a few years at the Palace of Auburn Hills, so I've seen a lot of concerts. After a while, they all seem to blend together. Cher puts on a hell of a show, as does Madonna. I'd say Def Leppard was right up at the top, too.
5. What are your thoughts on downloading free music online vs. purchasing albums? Do you feel the RIAA is right in its pursuit to stop people from dowloading free music? I'm kind of torn on this. I mean, the artists are generally getting screwed by the record companies to start out with, so I feel bad that they're making even less money because of free downloads. On the other hand, I didn't see anyone beating down the door trying to get people to stop making cassette recordings and "mix tapes" in the 70s and 80s.

What Flavor Am I?

Mmm, I am Lemon Flavoured. I am bitter and twisted. Expect from me acerbic humour and sharp commentary. While I may seem nasty at first, I'm actually quite good company if I like you, so long as you don't mind a bit of cutting to the chase. What Flavour Are You?

It Could Always Be Worse

I complain about my job. A LOT. I often wonder if I'd be happier as one of those "normal" people, who works a "normal" schedule and a "normal" 40-hour week, gets a "normal" weekend off, and who "normally" doesn't wake up at least three nights a week having nightmares about work.

But, as I've noted before, there are "normal" jobs worse than mine. Popular Science magazine was kind enough to make a list of them.

And if you're looking for a very abnormal job, try this one on for size.

The Sportslady's Book Club

Celebrate your freedom to read... because it's Banned Books Week!

Does anyone else find it disturbing that Maya Angelou's "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings" is the third most frequently challenged book at the American Library Association?

I was just checking out this list of the most frequently banned books. Some of them make more sense than others, like The Anarchist Cookbook. And let's face it... nobody wants to see The New Joy of Gay Sex in their elementary school's media center.

Though I haven't read all (or even most) of the frequently challenged books, there are several I read as a kid, and a few I read as an adult:

4. The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier
5. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain (required reading in school)
6. Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
8. Forever by Judy Blume (interestingly enough, my dad just bought me a copy of this one)
9. Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
13. The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
17. A Day No Pigs Would Die by Robert Newton Peck
18. The Color Purple by Alice Walker
22. A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle (One of my favorites. There's an animated movie version of it that we watched in grade school.)
23. Go Ask Alice by Anonymous
32. Blubber by Judy Blume
37. The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood
41. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee (required reading)
43. The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton
44. The Pigman by Paul Zindel
46. Deenie by Judy Blume
47. Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes (Cried like an idiot when I read it)
51. A Light in the Attic by Shel Silverstein
52. Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret by Judy Blume
77. Carrie by Stephen King
84. The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain
90. Little Black Sambo by Helen Bannerman
96. How to Eat Fried Worms by Thomas Rockwell

A New Wrinkle

Cory's birthday was Sunday... so why is it that I have a new wrinkle on my face, freshly discovered this evening?

I felt pretty old all weekend (more on that later). Maybe it's just my feelings manifesting themselves on my face. Whatever it is, I don't like it.

On the bright side, I'll have plenty of time to develop more wrinkles. This test says I'll live until the ripe old age of 85.

Finally...

We're finally back in Georgia. Cory and I rolled into town at 3:45 a.m. after a hellish drive. I don't have a lot of energy for an extended post, but I'll summarize the trip back:

Planned to leave Jan & Steve's at about 10 a.m. Actually pulled out of the driveway at 11 a.m. We were fairly pleased, since that meant we got a decent night's sleep, didn't have to rush in the morning, wouldn't have to deal with Detroit a.m. rush hour, and would hit Cincinnati before their 5 p.m. rush hour.

The first hour or so of the drive was fairly uneventful. It was pouring outside, so we were slowed down a little as we tried to get out of the Detroit Metro area. Driving down I-275, I got onto the I-75 on-ramp. Over an hour later, we were still on the I-75 on-ramp. A wreck had closed off traffic on the highway (according to the radio, one lane was open, but I think that's a serious crock). So we sat, in essentially the same spot, for an hour and 20 minutes.

We finally get out of that clusterf*ck, get as far as Toledo, and it starts all over again. This time, it's only a 20-minute logjam. So, essentially, the first 3 1/2 hours we were on the road, we travelled about 115 miles. Nice, huh? Oh, and of course, that meant that we hit Cincinnati right around rush hour. Yippie!

Anyway, it took forever to get back to Georgia. And even though I've done nothing today, I'm exhausted.

Dateline: Rochester Hills, Michigan

Haven't blogged in a few days. Not blogging now... about to leave on a 17-hour excursion back to Georgia. Wish us luck!

Another Action-Packed Vacation Adventure

I'm pretty tired (yet again), so this may be brief. Had lunch with Anne and Melissa, my two remaining friends from high school. Cory met them for the first time, so that was nice. Oh, and we briefly went to Anne's house. I'm always so envious of people with houses. I've been renting forever... And I just want to feel a little more "grounded." I should have bought a house when I lived in Kirksville, but when I moved there, the plan was to only stay for three years, and then my contract would expire. Who knew I'd be there for seven years? Anyway, I'm terribly jealous of all of my friends who aren't transients like me. My friend Nicki (the one who's getting married Saturday) just bought a house, and once again, I'm insanely jealous. But I digress.

After that, we went to play some putt-putt golf with my mom. She hadn't been since she was a kid, so we played 18 holes (Between the three of us, I won... Though I got a serious challenge from Cory). We were just about to leave, and Jan suggested we go on the bumper boats. I'd never been on anything like that before, and it was a blast! We had a riot, since it was just the three of us out on this little tiny pond.

Later, we had to go to the rehearsal and dinner. The rehearsal was very fast, thankfully, and dinner was great. I had to pull the preacher-guy aside at one point though, and ask him what I should do when the rest of the wedding party takes communion. It's a lot easier to pass on the communion when you're in the congregation, but when you're right in front of everyone, you kind of stick out like a sore thumb. Oh well.

Tomorrow, I still have to go buy Nicki and Walt a present (kind of a must-do when you're in the wedding party... It's hard to skip out of town without giving a gift). Cory's going golfing with Nicole's family tomorrow. I keep telling him that he's going to know more people at the wedding than I am! He thinks I'm joking, but I'm completely serious. I had never met three of the bridesmaids before tonight, and I still don't know all of their names. It could be a long weekend.

Vacation Update

All right, let's get this out of the way. I'm still very tired. I didn't think the drive would be that much longer than the drive from Kirksville to Detroit (13 hours, on average, though possible in 11 1/2). I was wrong. Seriously, horribly, terribly wrong. I'm pooped out. I think I mentioned yesterday that it took 16 1/2 hours. That's just too damn long to be in a 1996 Pontiac Sunfire.

Today, the goal was simple: Find Cory some "Big Boy" clothes (and no, I don't mean red-and-white checkered overalls. That's a different "Big Boy" altogether). We found him a nice blazer/pants/sweater combination that looks really good on him... and better yet, it was at the Men's Wearhouse, the first place we looked. As I mentioned in another post, it was an early birthday present for Cory, who turns 27 on Sunday. I won't tell you how much it cost, but I will tell you that he'd better get me something damn nice for my birthday.

(For those of you who don't know, my b-day is two days after Christmas, so I have a history of getting the shaft for my birthday, especially from significant others. I'm not bitter... just explaining. Well, ok... actually, I am bitter.)

Shopping for Cory took most of the day, though that's not all we did today. I also picked up my very pretty bridesmaid dress (and let's face it, for $200, it better be pretty!) and a stick-on bra to go with it. Seriously, it's adhesive.

Tomorrow, it's lunch with my high school friends Anne and Melissa. It'll be the first time Cory has met anyone who knew me before I moved to Kirksville (other than my parents, that is). Oddly enough, we're eating lunch at a Big Boy.

You Are Getting Sleepy...

Ugh. We arrived at Jan & Steve's at about 7:20 p.m., after about a lifetime on the road. As I think I mentioned a couple of days ago, the plan was to leave immediately after Monday night's newscast. Of course, that's a very late start, especially considering that Monday Night Football doesn't even end until around half-past midnight.

Oh, it gets better. Monday night's game went into overtime. A lengthy overtime, in fact. I didn't get home from work until after 2:00 a.m., and it was another 45 minutes before we finally got on the road.

16 1/2 hours later... we finally got here. I'm operating on virtually no sleep, so sorry if this doesn't make much sense. I'll try to post tomorrow when I'm more coherent. The quest for Cory's big-boy clothes is tomorrow, so I'm sure I'll have plenty to say.

Blogging Lite

Blogging will be limited the next few days. After Monday Night Football (and the ensuing newscast), Cory and I will be hauling a$$ to the Great Lakes State. If you're a burglar, don't get any ideas. Our neighbors will be watching our apartment like a hawk.

We still have tons of stuff to do before we leave, and of course, we're both working on Monday. Fun, fun, fun.

Who's the Bigger Idiot?

A) The idiot criminal who tried to pass off a fake $200 bill...
or
B) The idiot clerk who actually accepted it.

Upstairs, Downstairs

This morning (ok, it was actually afternoon, but I'd only been out of bed for about fifteen minutes), Cory and I got a delightful surprise: A cockroach in the upstairs hallway.

A note about living in the South. Cockroaches are just a part of life. You could have the cleanest, most obsessive-compulsive apartment in the world and still have a roach problem.

Now, we're used to seeing roaches downstairs, but upstairs is a whole new ballgame. Needless to say, I freaked out. We spent fifteen minutes trying to squish him as he ran behind various pieces of furniture in our spare bedroom. Finally, we gave up, after he ran underneath a very heavy and very full bookcase that just wasn't worth moving.

Five minutes later, I noticed Zoe staring at something in the hallway. I'll be damned if it wasn't our little cockroach friend (who actually, wasn't so little). He scurried into the bedroom, where my brave boyfriend squished it with his bare hand.

We were both a little pissed at Zoe for just staring at it. She'll chase a spider halfway around the house, but apparently a cockroach isn't worth the effort.

Apparently, we need some Big Alien Cats to take care of our roach problem instead.

Arrrrr, Mateys!

Remember kids, International Talk Like A Pirate Day is less than a week away!

You are a Pirate Second Class

Do you remember the last time you took a chance? I do. It was when you decided
to leave the security of your mother's womb and headed for the bright light. It's time
to head for the next bright light, my friend.
Creativity is not your strong suit. You are good at doing what you are told to do
and that, in itself, is a gift. It's not a gift to you, mind you, but rather a gift to
those who will be there to tell you what to do.
You like long walks on the beach and cuddling, but would never admit that to
your Guy friends who think you are okay but can't always remember your name.
Tapioca pudding seems a bit extreme for a fellow such as yerself, what with all the bumps and stuff.
It's a good thing ye be on a pirate ship, otherwise, ye'd would be walkin' because ye be
positively pedestrian. Have a nice day.

What's Yer Inner Pirate?
brought to you by The Official Talk Like A Pirate Web Site. Arrrrr!

The Man In Black

When Warren Zevon died earlier this week, one of the first (albeit morbid) thoughts to cross my mind was, "Wow. I wonder when Johnny Cash will die?"
That morbid inquiry was answered early this morning, as the Man in Black died. I was never a big Johnny Cash fan, but over the last few years, I'd really come to respect him. Much like Warren Zevon, his final album was his swan song. He knew he wasn't going to last much longer.

But just as all these thoughts are travelling through my mind... a much more shocking piece of news. John Ritter has died. Ritter collapsed on the set of his tv show, just after they finished taping an episode. Once again, I was never a huge fan, but what a shock.

At the risk of sounding corny... don't take life for granted. Live every day.

Feeling Corn-y

Bought one of these today. Now, you might ask yourself, "what the hell does she need that for? Doesn't she own any saucepans? Can't she buy Jiffy Pop?" (or, if you're of the microwave generation, "Don't they sell bags of microwave popcorn in Georgia?"

Let me explain. I bought the specialized stovetop popper for one reason, and one reason only: Kettle Corn. You can't really cook it in a normal saucepan, because you get this weird gelatinous burnt sugar crap coated on the bottom of the pan. The microwave stuff is really sub-standard, and I can't exactly wait around for the fair to come to town every time I'm craving Kettle Corn.

I'm eating my first batch right now. I have to say, it's pretty damn good.

Friday Five

Funny, earlier today I was looking up anagrams for my name... now the friday five is all about names.

1. Is the name you have now the same name that's on your birth certificate? If not, what's changed? It's the same.
2. If you could change your name (first, middle and/or last), what would it be? I've often toyed with the thought of dropping my first name. People mispronounce my first name so regularly that I don't even bother correcting them anymore. It's a losing battle. In fact, my legal signature incorporates my first initial and full middle name.
3. Why were you named what you were? (Is there a story behind it? Who specifically was responsible for naming you?) There was a famous opera star named who shares my first name... I think that's where Jan & Steve first heard the name. Funny story, one time my grandmother (Evelyn) told me that she came up with the name. When I asked Jan about that, she said that Evelyn didn't like the name at all, and asked "What the hell kind of name is that?" when they named me.
4. Are there any names you really hate or love? What are they and why? I've always loved the name "Logan." In fact, we had a dog named Logan, and Cory and I have considered that name for a son if we ever have kids. I also really like "Brett" and "Morgan."
5. Is the analysis of your name at kabalarians.com accurate? How or how isn't it?

(Here is the analysis)
You seek change, travel, new opportunities, and new challenges. Your active, restless nature demands action and you dislike system and monotony. As you are versatile and capable, you could do any job well, although you would not like to do menial tasks. Having considerable vision, you could be adept at formulating new, more effective ways of doing things. You could organize the work of others, though in your impatience to see the job done efficiently, you would likely step right in and do it yourself. You could work well in sales and promotion, and would not be afraid to risk a gamble as the name gives you much self-confidence. You do not find contentment in the routine tasks and responsibilities that are associated with home and family or with administrative detail in the business world, so you have to guard against frustration and even moods of depression over your personal responsibilities. The restlessness this name creates could find an outlet in caustic, irritable expression.

Caustic? Irritable? Moi??? Yeah, it's pretty accurate, though sales and promotion aren't my thing at all. Everything else seems to fit pretty well.

At the Risk of Being Vulgar...

...Pull my finger.

The Ol' Switcheroo

I found a new toy on the internet today... the Anagram Server.

Some fun anagrams for my name:
"Silk Sonneteer" (too bad I can't write poetry to save my life)
"Kennel Stories"
"Skeleton Resin" (yuck!)
"Sleek Siren... Not"

I tried out Cory's name, as well. The two best are:
"Lonely Condor" (a sad commentary on endangered birds)
"Loony Clone Dr. " (Sounds like a headline from the Weekly World News)

New and Improved

The sportslady brings a new feature to the blog. Now, links will appear in a brand-spanking new window. No more clicking the "back" button to get back to the blog.

Of course, now I feel compelled to link to something so that you can test it out. So here you go... you'll never use a public restroom again.

Straitjacket Update

Last night, Cory and I went back to the pimp-clothes store to buy the suit he liked. Apparently, another 54 extra-long freak liked it, too. It's gone.

Looks like we'll be doing some emergency shopping in Michigan next week. Any suggestions?

Smile!

God bless Berkeley Breathed. Opus the penguin is returning to his Sunday comic strip glory.


Even better, Breathed is working on an animated feature film called "Opus the Penguin." Seriously, does it get any better?

The Other Side

George Bush's speech from Sunday, interpreted by an Iraqi citizen:

“Friends, Americans, Countrymen, lend me your ears… lend me your sons and daughters, lend me your tax dollars… so we can wage war in the name of American national security (people worldwide are willing to die for it)… so I can cover up my incompetence in failing to protect you… so I can add to the Bush and Cheney family coffers at your expense and the expense of the Iraqi people. I don’t know what I’m doing, but if you spend enough money, you’ll want to believe that I do."

Filthy Lucre

Good luck the first time you try to spend one of these at your neighborhood Wal-Mart.

"Uhhhhh... we don't take foreign money."

Major League Update

Happy Birthday Edwin Jackson... you've just earned your first major league win.

Scientific News You Can Use

The "Five Second Rule" isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Bleep!

By the way, I had to use a "bleep" for the first time today. I couldn't air a soundbite with the phrase "pissed off," believe it or not.

The Magic Roundabout

There's a recent trend back in my home town for city planners to slap down a rotary (or roundabout, if you prefer) instead of a traditional stop-lit intersection.

Let's hope they don't let it get out of control.

Major League

I've mentioned before the plethora of Major Leaguers from the C-Town Vicinity. Some of the bigger names include all-stars Frank Thomas (C-Town High School), Tim Hudson (Glenwood), and Mike Cameron (LaGrange).

Tonight, as I write this, Edwin Jackson is making his major league debut, on his 20th birthday. Edwin pitched Shaw High School to a state baseball championship in 2001, and in just two short years has worked his way to the Los Angeles Dodgers.

I watched the first couple of innings on dish network at work. A great moment in the first inning... after retiring the first two batters, Edwin faced Diamondbacks slugger Luis Gonzalez (who, coincidentally, played a season of minor league ball here in C-Town). Gonzo hit a looooong fly ball to left center. As the outfielder made the grab, they showed Edwin on the mound, breathing a huge visible sigh of relief.

Edwin did give up a run in the second, but so far, so good. If you'd like to check in on him (and you should... he's a good kid), you can check the box score here.

The Best-Laid Plans

I was planning to give you a rare music review tonight of Warren Zevon's final album (which I was planning to buy on my way to work). But then, on my drive to work, I spilled all over my khakis, and had to turn around to go back home and change. I ended up getting off to a really late start and never made it to the store. Curses.

Sunday Sports Saga

I woke up Sunday morning with a sinking feeling in my heart. We don't get HBO for free anymore, so there would be no "Inside the NFL" for me. It's my favorite of all the Sunday morning football fare, primarily because Wanda Sykes cracks me up when she does her comedic football analysis gig.

So instead, I had to watch "Sunday NFL Countdown" on ESPN... a show I find annoying because it always turns into a contest to see which host can yell the loudest. Chris Berman's the original loud football announcer (well, ok, Cosell was the original). Then slap a couple of former NFL players (or "has-beens" if you prefer) on the set with him, and let the shouting begin.

Just to make the show even more obnoxious, ESPN has added Rush Limbaugh to the cast. It's amazing... even as a sports correspondent, he still blames the media for everything! The first thing I remember him saying is that if Bill Parcells is a flop as Cowboys coach, nobody will complain because Parcells is a "media darling." But then, he criticized the media for being too tough on other players who'd had run-ins with the law.

Give me a break.

This is your brain...

...and this is your brain on drugs.

Somewhere in London, a Werewolf is Crying

Warren Zevon died last night.

Excerpted from another article about the one-of-a-kind singer/songwriter's death:
During his last months, Zevon had faced death with the same dark sense of humour found in much of his music, including songs like I'll Sleep When I'm Dead, Life'll Kill Ya and Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead.
"Really, the thing I want is to last through the winter so I don't miss the new James Bond movie," he said when his illness was diagnosed last year.

I hope to have as great an attitude when it's my time to go.

On my way to work, I plan to stop at the store and pick up a copy of The Wind, his swan-song album which he recorded after he was given only three months to live. I encourage you to do the same.

This Week's California Gubernatorial Update

The three-ring circus that is the California Gubernatorial Recall/Race continues. Things like this almost make me wish I lived on the Left Coast.

Ok, For the Last Time...

Saddam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden are two different people.
Iraq and Afghanistan are two different countries.
And not to rain on anybody's parade... but Saddam Hussein isn't the guy who bombed the Pentagon and the World Trade Center two years ago.

I'm not sticking up for either one of them... The dudes are bad news. I'm just sick of hearing people who cite September 11th as a reason for our actions in Iraq.

Yes, a terrorist is a terrorist... but let's try to keep our bad guys straight.

Even If You're Not A Football Fan...

There's something for everyone at football games. Like, you never know when you'll see something like this.

Programming Note

I know it must kill all of you to not be able to read my incessant ramblings on Fridays. That's why I encourage my Georgia readers from outside the Columbus area to watch "Prep Sports +" on GPTV if you really, really miss me. Though my smiling face doesn't make it on the show every week during football season, you might catch a glimpse of your favorite sportslady! Ha!

For those of you outside the Peach State... "Prep Sports +" isn't available on streaming video on the GPTV website... sorry. I can't make all the peeps happy all the time, you know.

Just Give Me A Straitjacket

One of my great joys in life is gift-giving. I think generally, I'm a pretty good gift-picker-outer... though buying gifts for my parents still stumps me regularly.
Cory doesn't have the same passion for gift-giving (or gift-receiving) that I do. I think it's because I'm an only child... so Jan and Steve always mad a big deal out of every holiday for me. For me, it's all about the element of surprise. Cory's parents divorced when he was really young, so he often gets money for a gift... or he tells his parents what he wants and they just get it for him. Not a bad arrangement, but I hate it when people know what I'm getting them.

This year, I said to hell with the element of surprise. Cory needs some new dress clothes for Crackhouse Nicki's wedding later this month, so I told him that I'd get him something nice for his birthday, which happens to be the day before the wedding. Today, we went shopping before I had to go to work. What a freakin' ordeal.

For those of you who have never met Cory... let me explain why it was such a pain. There are exactly two stores in Columbus that carry Cory's size (54 Extra Long, Athletic cut). Of course, we didn't know this at the time, so we went everywhere, hoping they'd have a "big and tall" department. No dice at Parisian, Rich's, JC Penney, or Sears. The Men's Wearhouse in Columbus won't open until later this month. Dillard's has a big and tall department, which contained exactly two sportscoats... one navy, one black.

The two stores that actually carry Cory's size were stores that he described as "a little scary," though once we went inside, they both had great selections... even if their selection of clothes ranged a little too far into the pimped out realm for our tastes.

We found a couple of nice things... but they'd still need quite a bit of alteration. So, after three and a half hours of shopping today, we're exactly where we started. Looks like it's gonna be jeans and a Weezer T-shirt for the wedding.

Film Industry Update

Ever since seeing "Broadcast News," I've loved all things news-y in the world of entertainment. "Weekend Update" has always been my favorite part of Saturday Night Live (well, except when Colin Quinn was anchoring. I can't stand him.) From Murphy Brown, to Sports Night... I'm sure you get the picture.

So I ask you, how much do I want to see this movie? Too much!

Friday Five

By the way, I wanted to take this moment to admonish all of you for not playing along with the Friday Five. Here I am, pouring my heart out once a week, and what do I get in return? Maybe two comments? For shame...

1. What housekeeping chore(s) do you hate doing the most? All of them! Right now, I'd have to say laundry, because we don't have a washer/dryer in our apartment. I have to take my laundry to the laundry room several buildings away... and there's only four washers and three dryers for the entire apartment complex.
2. Are there any that you like or don't mind doing? I don't mind cooking most of the time. I think it's kind of fun, and though I'm not the most fantastic cook, I think I'm pretty good when I actually put my mind to it.
3. Do you have a routine throughout the week or just clean as it's needed? I never know for sure when I'm going to be working, so it's ard to have any kind of routine. I wish Cory did more around the apartment. He won't do anything at all unless I ask him to do it. I wish he'd look at the hamper, see that it's full, and do some laundry on his own. I hate, hate, HATE the fact that I spend my days off running errands rather than enjoying my time.
4. Do you have any odd cleaning/housekeeping quirks or rules? I've tried to institute the "If I cook, you have to clean up" rule. It doesn't always work.
5. What was the last thing you cleaned? Just a little vaccuuming downstairs. On Tuesday, we had to empty out our entire back patio area so that the maintenance guys could powerwash it on Tuesday... and we tracked tons of crap back into the apartment on our shoes.

Mark Your Calendar

March 21, 2014 could be a very bad day.

Rolling in the Dough

And they told me that TV didn't pay well. Turns out, I'm the 186,740,948th richest person in the world.

Older? Absolutely. Wiser? I hope so.

Sixteen years ago this week, I entered Oakland University. I was seventeen years old... which means it was nearly half my lifetime ago. The world has changed since then, though it never really seemed like it had changed that much... Then I stumbled across this list on the wire today at work.

THE BELOIT COLLEGE MINDSET LIST FOR THE CLASS OF 2007:
Most students entering college this fall were born in 1985. To them:

1. Ricky Nelson, Richard Burton, Samantha Smith, Laura Ashley, Orson Welles, Karen Ann Quinlin, Benigno Aquino, and the U.S. Football League have always been dead.
2. They are not familiar with the source of that "Giant Sucking Sound."
3. Iraq has always been a problem.
4. "Ctrl Alt Del" is as basic as "ABC."
5. Paul Newman has always made salad dressing.
6. Pete Rose has always been a gambler.
7. Bert and Ernie are old enough to be their parents.
8. An automatic is a weapon, not a transmission.
9. Russian leaders have always looked like leaders every place else.
10. The snail darter has never been endangered.
11. There has always been a screening test for AIDS.
12. Gas has always been unleaded.
13. They never heard Howard Cosell call a game on ABC.
14. The United States has always had a poet laureate.
15. Garrison Keillor has always been live on public radio, and Lawrence Welk has always been dead on public television.
16. Their families drove SUVs without "being fuelish."
17. There has always been some association between fried eggs and your brain.
18. They would never leave their calling card on someone's desk.
19. They have never been able to find the "return" key.
20. Computers have always fit in their backpacks.
21. Datsuns have never been made.
22. They have never gotten excited over a telegram, a long distance call or a fax.
23. The Osmonds are just talk show hosts.
24. College athletes have always been a part of the NBA and NFL draft.
25. They have always "grazed" for food.
26. Three-point shots from "downtown" have always been a part of basketball.
27. Test tube babies are now having their own babies.
28. Stores have always had scanners at the checkout.
29. The Army has always driven Humvees.
30. Adam and PC Junior computers had vanished from the market before this generation went online.
31. The Statue of Liberty has always had a gleaming torch.
32. They have always had a pin number.
33. Banana Republic has always been a store, not a puppet government in Latin America.
34. Car detailing has always been available.
35. Directory assistance has never been free.
36. The Jaycees have always welcomed women as members.
37. There has always been Lean Cuisine.
38. They have always been able to fly Virgin Atlantic.
39. There have never been dress codes in restaurants.
40. Doctors have always had to deal with "reasonable and customary fees" and patients have always had controls placed on the number of days they could stay in a hospital.
41. They have always been able to make photocopies at home.
42. Michael Eisner has always been in charge of Disney.
43. They have always been able to make phone calls from planes.
44. Yuppies are almost as old as hippies.
45. Rupert Murdoch has always been an American citizen.
46. Strawberry Fields has always been in New York.
47. Rock 'n' roll has always been a force for social good.
48. Killer bees have always been swarming in the United States.
49. They have never seen a first lady in a fur coat.
50. Don Imus has always been offending someone in his national audience.

You Got to Know When to Hold 'Em...

We all know at least one: Men who look like Kenny Rogers. But who knew they had their own website?

Domestic Goddess

I've been baking cookies tonight, as a bribe for a co-worker who did me a favor. While I was baking, I thought it would be nice to post the recipe on this blog. So, I just spent about fifteen minutes typing out my recipe for the greatest oatmeal-chocolate chip cookies ever. Then, I clicked on the "publish" button to put the recipe on this blog, so that you could all enjoy the world's yummiest cookies.

Blogger had other ideas.

It ate my post. I don't have the energy to re-write the entire thing. So if you want cookies, go to the store and buy your own.

The Suspense is Killing Me!

There used to be a Circuit City about a mile down the street from us. It closed about a year ago, and moved to a new location in a new shopping center on the north side of town. Since then, there's just been a big, empty building in it's place.

Until about four or five months ago, when signs of life began springing up in the old Circuit City building. First, they re-painted the facade. Then they build a couple of brick pillars next to the entrance. Then they planted a bunch of palm trees around the building. They obviously started work on the inside of the building at least two months ago, but so far, no signage, no notices, no nothing to even give a hint as to what's being built.

I drive past this building at least twice every day. The suspense is driving me crazy!

Ouch!

Does worker's comp cover this???

Attention, "Days of our Lives Fans"

Is anyone else a little disturbed by the return of MacDonald Carey? The man's been dead for nearly a decade... isn't thirty years on the same soap opera enough, now they can't let the poor guy rest in peace?

At first, they were just trotting out some old video on the Christmas shows. After all, his TV "wive" is still alive, and still on the show. But now they've made him an actual subplot.

I'm sure this is James E. Reilly's doing. He's recently returned to the show. Reilly's was the head writer during some of the show's more whacked-out periods... Remeber when Marlena was possessed by the devil? When Carly was buried alive? Reilly was the mastermind behind both of those freakshows. Both times, the show's ratings soared, but also lost tens of thousands of its loyal viewers.

Reilly's also fired one of my favorite actors on the show, Matthew Ashford (Jack Deveraux). Reilly also fired him during his first stint as head writer. And he's not the only one getting the ax. How about firing the longest-running African-American character in television history?

One Small Step For Man...

A recent poll shows that the lunar landing is the most significant event in television history (Though MTV would like to believe it's the Madonna/Britney/Christina french kiss on last week's awards show).

Recently unveiled video footage, however, reveals that the lunar landing may have been doctored. Here is the original, un-doctored video (not safe for work or for children).

And by the way, my comments on MTV's big kiss? Teenage boys loved it, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution's readers hated it, and all I can think is "Dear God, She's old enough to be their mother!"

Dead Or Alive?

I've had this very conversation with my mother dozens of times:
"Remember whats'er name? She played the girl in that dumb movie with whoziss. What ever happened to her?"

Usually, it reverts into either some kind of "six degrees of Kevin Bacon" discussion, or a "I think she might be dead" conversation. Well, if you're wondering who's dead and who's still alive and kicking, check out the Dead People Server.

Maureen O'Sullivan? Dead. Maureen O'Hara? Alive.
Bing Crosby? Dead. David Crosby? Alive (except for his liver).
Rod Steiger? Dead. Roy Scheider? Alive.
Ed Sullivan? Dead. Ed McMahon? Alive.

They even have a "Dead People Rumors" page.

By the way, if you're really morbid (and you might like to make some cash off of it), check out the Dead Pool. It's kind of like an NCAA tournament pool, only instead of picking the team you think will win the national basketball championship, you pick ten celebrities you think will kick off before the year is over. The winner gets about $2,000. The person in the lead right now has picked six correctly so far.

One of my co-workers is a pretty active dead-pooler. Every now and then, when someone (like, for example, Idi Amin) dies, he'll be beaming with pride at his desk.

Morbid? You Betcha.

Nostalgia Trip

The Sportslady's been having a little high school flashback... the movie "Valley Girl" is on "Oh!" right now. Good Stuff. Nicolas Cage's first leading role.
By the way, if the Driver's Ed teacher looks familiar, it's Richard Sanders, none other than Les Nessman of WKRP in Cincinnati.

Too Pooped To Pop

People often ask me for advice on getting into television. I tell them "Don't, especially if you want to do sports." Football season isn't even a week old, and I'm already exhausted. You have to really love your job to survive, especially this time of year. A sampling of the last week or so in my life:

Monday: Work a quite normal shift. Show up around 2:30, leave around midnight. (9.5 hours)
Tuesday: Wake up early for wild goose chase regarding Auburn University Football press conference. Head to Auburn around 11 am or so. Prepare 2-minute news segment on Auburn's opening game. Write and edit college football segment for Friday's "Sports Overtime." Write all intros, teases, and show close for "Sports OT." Leave work around 10:30 pm. (11.5 hours)
Wednesday: Day off. Sports Director calls once.
Thursday: Day off. Sports Director calls three times.
Friday: Back to work. Awoken at 9:30 am by call from frantic Sports Director. Show up at work at about 1:00 pm, work on Sports Overtime until 6pm, cram dinner in my face, then shoot two high school football games. Deal with utter mayhem at station in attempts to produce 20-minute show. Co-Anchor 20-minute show. Write, shoot, and edit promo for next week's show. Clean up mess. Leave at about 12:30 am. (11.5 hours)
Saturday: Return to work before 12 noon to start recording football games. Do we have someone else that could do it? You'd think so, but every time I've trusted someone else, it hasn't gotten done. Spend two hours cleaning sports office from Friday night mess (including a 20 minute search for the cockroach living on Dave's desk). Produce and anchor newscasts. Dub file video. Enter news stories on station website. Be thankful that I didn't have to leave the station to shoot anything. Leave at 1:00 am. (13 hours)
Sunday: Return to work before 1:00 pm to start recording Braves game. Did the same stuff as Saturday. Leave work as quickly as possible after newscast, 11:45 pm. (10.75 hours)
Monday (Labor Day): Call station in hopes that someone can roll Braves tape for me. Can't find anyone. Drive to station to record Braves game at 1:00, then return home to shower. Come back to station at 2:30, do my usual gig, stay until about 12:30 am. (10 hours)
Tuesday (Yesterday): Leave at 9:15 am to attend Georgia Tech press conference. Return to station, help Dave edit video for 6pm show. Leave station at 4:45pm to go home, eat and take nap. Return to station at 8:00 p.m. Write and edit stories for Sports Overtime. Leave at 10:30 pm. (10 hours)

Yeah, I know, cry me a river, right? It'll get much worse before it gets better. This Monday, Monday Night Football Starts. That means our usual 11:00 pm newscast becomes more like a 1:00 am newscast... and I have to get up early the next day to go to Auburn.

Busy, busy, busy, busy, busy. If I don't seem to be blogging regularly, please forgive me. I'm probably either working or sleeping.

When Will I Learn?

I needed to go to the post office today.

There's a post office branch just a couple of blocks away from where I work, and it usually isn't very busy. So whenever possible, I go to that post office. Unfortunately, it's not very convenient to our home. In fact, there are at least two post office branches closer to our apartment, including the main branch. My mistake today: Going to the main branch at 4:30 pm.

I walked in the door, and there were 17 people in line in front of me, all of whom appeared to have some postal difficulties or another. The worst conversation I overheard:

Clerk: So you want to send this "express mail," right?
Customer: No.
Clerk: Well, you've got "express mail" tape on the box.
Customer: That's the tape that the other guy gave me to use.
Clerk: You can only use "express mail" tape on "express mail" packages.
Customer: Well, how much would it cost to send it "express mail?"
Clerk: It starts at $13.65. But your package is pretty big, so it'll be more.
Customer: But I can just take the "express mail" tape off of here, right?
Clerk: Sure.
(Customer removes all tape)
Customer: Do you have any tape I can use to seal this up?
Clerk: Ma'am, all we have is the "express mail" tape.
(Customer slowly begins to tear her hair out of her head, and leaves Post Office.)

Apparently, one of the cost-cutting measures made by the US Postal Service is removal of all tape. Who knew?

Anyway, I was in line for about 25 minutes. When I left at 5pm, I counted the people still waiting in line behind me. Twenty-two.
As much as I bitch about my job, at least I'm not a postal worker.

No Blog For You!


No blogging tonight. It's already 1am, I just got walked in the door from work, and I have to be up in seven hours to go to Atlanta in the morning. Even better, I'll have to be at work all night tomorrow working on Friday's Sports Overtime Show (otherwise, I'll have to come in on my day off to work on it).
Anyway, this was supposed to be just a quick post to say that I won't be posting tonight. Kind of counter-productive, don't you think?

Leave it to Ted Turner

Today's Business News: TBS opens new frontier with talking ads in men's restrooms.

Is it just me, or does the concept of a talking toilet seem a little... um... disturbing?

There is Justice

(New York-AP) -- Anna Kournikova couldn't make it into the second week of the U-S Open as a tennis commentator, either.

USA Network pulled the plug on the glamourous Russian after its three-day commitment with Kournikova was fulfilled. Kournikova, who has never won a women's tour event, said she was uncomfortable with her role as a roving TV reporter. She said she was eating too much on the job as well.