Digestive System Update

I gave in. I ate half of the remaining half of the pizza. Crap.

Fashion Police Update

Never got to see catty Joan and Melissa tear apart the Golden Globe fashions. I got a chance to look at the Oscar nominations, but I've been more interested in the Razzies.

I think of the Golden Raspberry awards as a gauge of my judgment. The fewer the movies I've seen on the list, the better my judgment is.

Here's this year's list of nominations:

WORST PICTURE

CAT-IN-THE HAT (Universal/Dreamworks/Imagine)
CHARLIE'S ANGELS: FULL THROTTLE (Columbia)
FROM JUSTIN TO KELLY (20th Century-Fox)
GIGLI (Columbia/Revolution)
THE REAL CANCUN (New Line)

WORST ACTOR

Ben Affleck / DAREDEVIL, GIGLI and PAYCHECK
Cuba Gooding, Jr. / BOAT TRIP, FIGHTING TEMPTATIONS and RADIO
Justin Guarini / FROM JUSTIN TO KELLY
Ashton Kutcher / CHEAPER by the DOZEN, JUST MARRIED and MY BOSS'S DAUGHTER
Mike Myers / THE CAT-IN-THE-HAT

WORST ACTRESS

Drew Barrymore / CHARLIE'S ANGELS: FULL THROTTLE and DUPLEX
Cameron Diaz / CHARLIE'S ANGELS: FULL THROTTLE
Kelly Clarkson / FROM JUSTIN TO KELLY
Angelina Jolie / BEYOND BORDERS
and LARA CROFT TOMB RAIDER: THE CRADLE of LIFE
Jennifer Lopez / GIGLI

WORST SUPPORTING ACTOR

Anthony Anderson / KANGAROO JACK
Alec Baldwin / THE CAT-IN-THE-HAT
Al Pacino / GIGLI
Sylvester Stallone (Whose 5 Roles Could Fill This ENTIRE Category!) SPY KIDS 3-D: GAME OVER
Christopher Walken / GIGLI and KANGAROO JACK

WORST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

Lanie Kazan / GIGLI
Demi Moore / CHARLIE'S ANGELS: FULL THROTTLE
Kelly Preston / THE CAT-IN-THE-HAT
Brittany Murphy / JUST MARRIED
Tara Reid / MY BOSS'S DAUGHTER

WORST SCREEN COUPLE

Ben Affleck & Jennifer Lopez / GIGLI
Eric Christian Olsen & Derek Richardson / DUMB AND DUMBERER
Justin Guarini & Kelly Clarkson / FROM JUSTIN TO KELLY
Ashton Kutcher & EITHER Brittany Murphy (JUST MARRIED)
or Tara Reid (MY BOSS's DAUGHTER)
Mike Myers & EITHER Thing One OR Thing Two / THE CAT-IN-THE-HAT

WORST EXCUSE for an ACTUAL MOVIE (All Concept/No Content!) (New Category)

2 FAST, 2 FURIOUS
CHARLIE'S ANGLES: FULL THROTTLE
THE CAT-IN-THE-HAT
FROM JUSTIN TO KELLY
THE REAL CANCUN

WORST REMAKE or SEQUEL

2 FAST, 2 FURIOUS
CHARLIE'S ANGELS: FULL THROTTLE
DUMB & DUMBERER: WHEN HARRY MET LLOYD
FROM JUSTIN TO KELLY (Remake of WHERE THE BOYS ARE '60 and WHERE THE BOYS ARE '84)
TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE

WORST DIRECTOR

Martin Brest / GIGLI
Robert Iscove / FROM JUSTIN TO KELLY
Mort Nathan / BOAT TRIP
The Wachowski Brothers / Both MATRIX Sequels
Bo Welch / THE CAT-IN-THE-HAT

WORST SCREENPLAY

THE CAT-IN-THE-HAT, Screenplay by Alec Berg, David Mandel and Jeff Schaffer
CHARLIE'S ANGELS: FULL THROTTLE, Screenplay by John August and
Cormac & Marianne Wibberley, "Story" by August
DUMB AND DUMBERER, Screenplay by Robert Brener and Troy Miller, "Story" by Brener
FROM JUSTIN TO KELLY, Written by Kim Fuller
GIGLI, Written by Martin Brest

NOMINATIONS PER PICTURE:

GIGLI -9
CAT-IN-THE-HAT -8
FROM JUSTIN TO KELLY -8
CHARLIE'S ANGELS: FULL THROTTLE -7
BOAT TRIP, DUMB & DUMBERER, JUST MARRIED, MY BOSS'S DAUGHTER
and THE REAL CANCUN - 2 Each

Happy to say that of all the movies listed, I've seen only four: Daredevil, Radio, and the two Matrix movies. And I only paid full-price to see one of them (Matrix 2). I saw Daredevil and Radio at the dollar theater, and we used free coupons to see the final Matrix flick. So I suppose I'm not doing too badly.

What shocked me most was that both Al Pacino and Christopher Walken were in "Gigli." These are good actors... what's up with that?

Digestive Dilemma

One of the drawbacks to being old is that I can no longer eat right before I go to bed. I can't sleep and I get indigestion. Too many late-night trips to Pancake City back in the 'Ville, I suspect.

Anyway, I didn't get to eat much in the way of dinner tonight. I had to hurry off to the hockey game, and only got a chance to stuff a Chicken Sandwich from Sonic into my pie-hole.

So I get home from work at about 1:00 am, and I'm hungry. There's half a Mellow Mushroom House Special (pepperoni, ground beef, sausage, green peppers, onions, mushrooms, black olives, tomatoes, bacon, ham, and extra cheese) in the fridge. Do I eat it and then suffer from insomnia, or do I go to bed hungry?

This wouldn't be such an issue normally, but I have to get up early for the airport run tomorrow. What to do, what to do...

Fashion Police

So I missed the Golden Globes tonight. I even missed most of the post-show commentary on E!

I don't usually watch the Golden Globes, though I try to make it a point to catch the best and worst dressed as they parade around on the red carpet. No catty fashion commentary from the Sportslady this year, though.

I'll get my fill of catty fashion commentary tomorrow night, after I watch the "Fashion Police" show. I'll keep you posted.

Glam It Up!

So has anyone caught The Darkness on MTV yet? I just saw their video for the first time, and was both appalled and intrigued all at the same time. It takes the whole glam rock/hair band thing to a whole new level. These guys must have listened to a lot of Queen and Sweet in their childhoods, because that's all I heard.

Needless to say, I love it. I may have to go buy their album... and I've only bought one CD in the last year.

Communication? What's That?

I work in the "communication" field... but the lack of "communication" around my workplace continually amazes me.

For at least the thirtieth time since I started at the station, our newscast was scheduled to air at a time other than our usual time. Our 6:00 news was scheduled for 6:30. Now, that's fine... or at least it would be if the news ever funnelled down to the peons like me. Unfortunately, nobody bothered to tell us. I found out at 5:52. Our director didn't find out until I told him.

The frustrating part is that I was waiting for a set of highlights that were scheduled to arrive at 6 pm. That isn't enough time to turn them around for a 6pm newscast. So I didn't schedule them for the show. If I had known we were going on at 6:30, I could have included them.

Of course, the golf tournament went to a tiebreaker, and we ended up having to can the show entirely, so this entire rant is moot. Just had to blow off a little steam.

Feeling Mellow

So anyway, since we're cleaning and have no time to do anything else (like cook, for example), we ordered out tonight. Sundays are usually Cory's night to make dinner, but he manages to weasel out of it almost every week.

Tonight, we got pizza from the Mellow Mushroom. I'm a pretty serious pizza snob. I don't like Dominos, or Little Ceasars, or most of the other big chains. Papa John's is OK, though I swore them off after they gave one of my close friends the shaft. But I loooove the Mellow Mushroom. They're located mostly in the South, so most of y'all won't be able to experience it. But if you're south of the Mason-Dixon line, check here to see if there's one in your area.

Cleanliness Is Next To Impossible

Cory and I have been in the midst of some housecleaning over the last week. See, we're not like normal people. We don't get around to cleaning the house very often, primarily because we don't get days off together and we don't work the same shift. And let's face it, nobody wants to clean the house alone... and feel like they're stuck doing all the work.

So it never gets done.

Anyway, we're in the midst of a cleaning marathon. Jan comes in town for a visit on Wednesday, and the house needs to be at least tolerable. It will never, ever, ever live up to her standards of cleanliness... but we're at least making an effort.

Too Much Time On My Hands

Actually, I don't have any time on my hands. But these people do.

Watch out Where the Huskies Go...

Don't you eat that yellow snow.

Strange Serendipity

It's funny how things work, like I'm in some kind of paralell universe with my friends. Today, I was talking with one of our producers about LOTR: Return of the King, and we got on the topic of the relationship between Sam and Frodo.

So I need to ask you this: At any point during the movie, did you expect Frodo and Sam to kiss? There were a lot of very close, soft-speaking, personal-space-invading, poignant moments between the two of them. A couple of times I was convinced they were going to kiss, somewhat passionately, before I realized... uh... wait a minute... these are two dudes. Two hobbit dudes. I don't think either Tolkein or Peter Jackson had that in mind.

Then, tonight, I get home from work and check out the internet. Oddly enough, Kelly linked to this: The Very Secret Diary of Frodo Baggins. So apparently, I wasn't the only one who saw it.

Say It Ain't So!

J-Lo and Ben have called off their engagement again. How will the world continue to turn? How will my life go on? (There's your USDA of sarcasm. You can thank me later.)

By the way... Jane Fonda is coming out of retirement to play J-Lo's mother-in-law in the new movie "Monster-In-Law." Does this mean that the former Mrs. Ted Turner will start calling herself J-Fo? 'Cause I could get behind that.

The Friday Five

It's been over a month since I posted a "Friday Five." So I decided to get off my slacker hiney and get blogging.

At this moment, what is your favorite...

1. ...song? I haven't been able to get the song "Peaches" by The Presidents of the United States of America out of my head today. Cory and I heard it last night, and it's still there.
2. ...food? Once again, from last night. Kettle Corn. Mmmm, mmmm good.
3. ...tv show? Days of Our Lives has been pretty good the last few weeks. I also love 24 and Alias. They're the only shows I tape regularly.
4. ...scent? I can tell you what my least favorite scent is right now: Bathroom Cleaner. I've spent the last couple of days trying to clean the apartment and I can't get the smell of bathroom cleaner off of my hands.
5. ...quote? "Yeaaaaagh!" (Howard Dean)

Better Late Than Never

Looking for a way to support our nation's leader and your own raging alcoholism? What better way than through the State of the Union Drinking Game! Ah, had I only known about this on Tuesday night (well, actually, I was working Tuesday night... but I could have taped it and played later).

Let's Hear it For...

...The Russian Army.
Now that's my kind of military operation.

Eeek!

I was just looking at some of my latest search query strings.
People have found my blog looking for:

"wet t-shirt contest" columbus georgia
and
linda cohn nude

That's right... the sportslady... brining you nude ESPN anchors and local wet t-shirt contest information for the last year.

There have been stranger search strings... for a while there, a lot of people were finding my blog while trying to find nude photos of Colorado Avalanche stars Paul Kariya and Teemu Selanne. Very strange.

New Kid on the Blog

(No, it's not Donnie Wahlberg)

You may notice two new blogs listed on the side... one is the previously mentioned "C.O.D. Nation," the other is "Library Diva." Kelly, my pretty-pretty-princess pal from Truman has started her own blog. How cool is that?

A couple weeks ago, I hunted down some old friends on the web, Kelly and Melina. It wasn't hard. Melina's a pretty unusual name, so she googled fairly easily... and I knew Kelly was a librarian at a public library in suburban Chicago. Little did I know that she was, in actuality, the Library Diva. I sent unsolicited, out-of-the-blue emails to both of them, and thankfully, they both wrote back. That's when I found out about Kelly's fledgling blog.

So go visit her little corner of the web. Tell 'er I said "hi."

Sucked in Again

Got sucked into another stupid, stupid reality show. This time, it's My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancee. What can I say... the dude is kind of funny... and it's funny to watch the little blonde snob squirm.

What A Cop-Out

I have a sneaking suspicion that Days of our Lives is making Billie Reed the serial killer. What a rip-off.

See, the show's been stringing it's viewers along for months by killing off a bundle of it's main characters. Among those killed, a woman who's been on the show for four decades, and the longest-running African-American character on television. People have been dying left and right.

Now, it appears they're about to pin the blame on a character who's been on and off of the show (played by a variety of actresses) for years. Not to mention the fact that the character's been a fan favorite every time she's been on the show.

This website says that it'll actually be Dr. Marlena Evans that's the serial killer. Might explain why she's been such a nutcase the last few weeks.

Jan told me that they're revealing the serial killer on Wednesday. I heard that it won't be until sometime next week. We'll see.

Obligatory Sports Related Post:

Well, I am the "Sports Lady" after all.

Actually, the majority of my sports-related posts will be moving to a new site... "C.O.D. Nation." It's Cory's attempt at putting together a group blog of sports rants. Cory and I are the only writers right now, though I suspect we'll pick a few more up along the way.

So when you get a chance, stop by C.O.D. Nation (By the way, C.O.D. stands for Cory O'Donnell... it's not a blog about fishing). And if you'd like to add a sports rant to our little blog, drop me a line and I'll get you on the bill.

International Breaking News

Hot of the presses, "Canada Cool With Happy Penis Song." I don't really know why this comes as such a surprise, since Newfoundland supports the annual "Dildo Days" festival.

And we have more breaking news, this time out of Russia.

Email Surveys

My pal Crackhouse Nicki sends me these things about once a week. I never send them back to her, because she always sends them to my work email address and I don't have the time to deal with stuff like this at work.

So this is to make up for all the times I blew her off. Yo Nicki, this is for you!

1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? The Sportslady, of course!
2. WHAT COLOR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING? Jeans
3. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO? Cory's watching ESPN, so that's on in the background. Linda Cohn is doing hockey highlights.
4. WHAT ARE THE LAST 4 DIGITS OF YOUR PHONE NUMBER? I don't give out my home number.... so you'll have to guess. The last four digits of my work number are 5486.
5. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Just got home from IHOP, where I had a "The Big Steak Omlette."
6. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? What the hell kind of question is that? I'd be the black crayon- the one I used the most and always broke first.
7. HOW IS THE WEATHER RIGHT NOW? Rainy, in the 40s.
8. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Cory.
9. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX? The way they dress.
10. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT YOU THIS? Aside from the fact that Nicki sends me crap like this all the time, she's pretty cool.
11. HOW ARE YOU TODAY? Pooped after a long day of work.
12. FAVORITE DRINK? I love Diet Pepsi Vanilla
13. FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINKS? Pina Colada.
14. FAVORITE SPORTS? Hockey, Hockey, Hockey.
15. HAIR COLOR? Medium Blonde, but every time I go out in the sun it fades to a freakishly light shade, so I'm constantly trying to dye it back to my natural color.
16. WHAT COLOR DO YOU WANT IT TO BE? I always wanted to be a redhead, but the color won't stay in my hair.
17. EYE COLOR? Dark Blue
18. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Yes. I'm blind as a bat.
19. SIBLINGS AND THEIR AGES: None.
20. FAVORITE MONTH? August
21. FAVORITE FOOD? Lobster, Chocolate, Pineapple
22. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Love, Actually. We saw it at the dollar theater last night. I was stunned that it was so good!
23, FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR? Halloween.
24. FAVORITE RELAXATION SPOT? I love to lie around in bed and watch TV.
25. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT? Serious fear of rejection.
26. FIRST TEENAGE (OR PRE-TEEN) MOVIE STAR CRUSH? C. Thomas Howell
27. SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer
28. HUGS OR KISSES? Hugs
29. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE-NIGHT STANDS? I choose Cory.
30. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? Chocolate
31. DO YOU WANT YOUR FRIENDS TO WRITE BACK? Affirmative
32. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Sandy-bean
33. WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Mike
34. LIVING ARRANGEMENT? Share a townhouse with my sweetie and our kitty, Zoe.
35. WHAT BOOK(S) ARE YOU READING? Just finished Tishomingo Blues by Elmore Leonard. About to start The DaVinci Code.
36. WHAT'S ON THE MOUSE PAD? St. Louis Cardinals (It's Cory's mousepad).
37. FAVORITE BOARD GAME? I like all the yuppie ones: Pictionary, Trivial Pursuit, Taboo.
38. WHAT IS THE LAST MOVING YOU WATCHED? Huh? I watched my neighbors move out last week. If this is supposed to say "movie," then see #22.
39. CAN YOU TOUCH YOUR NOSE WITH YOUR TONGUE? What am I, some kind of freak?
40. WHAT INSPIRES YOU? The Olympics.
41. BUTTERED, PLAIN OR SALTED POPCORN? Kettle Corn.
42. FAVORITE CAR? Either the 2006 Pontiac Solstice or the Advanced Automotive Technologies 50th Anniversary Corvette.
43. FAVORITE FLOWER? I love to get roses. I wish I got more of them. (hint, hint)
44. HOW MANY KEYS ON YOUR KEY RING? Seven, but I'm not sure what one of them is for.
45. CAN YOU JUGGLE? Yeah, right. I'm the most uncoordinated person... ever.
46. FAVORITE DAY OF THE WEEK? Used to be Friday until I started working in Sports. Now, I don't really have one. They all just kind of blend together.
47. RED OR WHITE WINE? White.
48. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY? Spent the day in Kirksville, Missouri. We drove to Kansas City in the afternoon, then went to the casino that night.
49. DO YOU CARRY A DONOR CARD? I did when I lived in Michigan and Missouri. Now I don't even know where to find one.
50. LIFETIME GOALS? To be truly happy. I'll let you know if I ever get there.

Let's Hear It For Hammerin' Hank

My favorite Hall of Famer speaks out on Pete Rose:

"I just think it's hogwash to say that he should be put back into the game just because the public wants it," Aaron said. "A rule is a rule, and the rule is on every clubhouse door that you can't bet on baseball. It doesn't say that you're excluded if you have 4,000 hits or 700 home runs."

Oh, and if you're curious as to why Hank Aaron is my favorite Hall of Famer, it's because he's the only one I've ever met.

A Sad Day in Sin City

I spent a good chunk of the day watching shows about Las Vegas on the Travel Channel. I went there about six years ago, and loved every minute of it. I was pining for Vegas this afternoon... So it's kind of odd that I stumbled across this article tonight.

It's the end of an era in Vegas. Binion's Horseshoe was one of the oldest casinos in Vegas, in the old part of town (Fremont Street, if you're familiar with the city. It's where "Vegas Vic," the famous neon waving cowboy is).

If you've ever watched the million dollar World Championship of Poker on TV, that's Binion's. My Binion's story doesn't involve playing cards, it involves BINGO cards. On our Vegas Vacation, Rich and I discovered that Binion's was one of the casinos that held BINGO 24 hours a day. So we played at 4 a.m. at Binon's. Rich won, I think about $25. I didn't win squat, but felt better for having played BINGO at a real casino instead of just at the Kirksville Shrine Club. It was like a minor-league ballplayer getting called up to "the show," and even though he struck out, he still could tell all his pals about the time he played in the majors.

I know.... pretty sad.

Those Sneaky Radio People

You can't get away with doing this in television. Oh, but if I could could, I'd do the sportscast from a remote studio in Honolulu every day.

I Miss Winter, Part II

Nothing like a virtual snowglobe to get you in the snuggle-up-by-the-fire winter mood. And there's nothing like shaking a snowglobe to bring out my maniacal, destructive tendencies.

(Thanks to Kat from Blowing Away My Haze)

I'm Confused...

PETA would like everyone to be vegans, right? They support the "ethical treatment of animals," and therefore don't want us to eat our furry (or feathered, or scaly) friends.

Ok. That makes sense.

So here's my question. If PETA doesn't want us to eat animals because they're living beings, why are they now anthropomorphizing vegetables? Do they now not want me to eat carrots and corn? I wouldn't want to accidentally digest a presidential candidate while eating a salad.

I Love "Days Of Our Lives"

Where else, I ask you, can you hear people utter phrases like, "I'll get rid of that murdering slut once and for all!"

Oh, Isiah!

Let me preface this by saying that I loved Isiah Thomas the basketball player. Zeke led the Detroit Pistons to back-to-back NBA Championships in 1989 and 1990. I was lucky enough to work at The Palace and see nearly every home game of both seasons, and it was a truly magical time. That was back before the NBA sucked, which is a different story altogether.

Even while working at the Palace, I heard grumblings that Isiah was kind of, well, a jerk. Most of us chose not to believe it. He was an icon, a hero to the city of Detroit, and he was nice to his Mama. He did commercials for Detroit Edison that told kids not to do anything stupid around electricity. Everyone loved him.

Isiah Thomas the executive, however, is another story. A few years ago, Isiah bought the Continental Basketball Association, and everyone cheered him. He was the CBA's savior. He was going to resurrect the helf-century-old league, he would expand it, would transform it into a minor league system for the NBA. One year later, he abandoned the league, selling back his stake so that he could coach the Pacers. The CBA filed for bankruptcy, had to reorganize, lost some teams, and it's a big frickin' mess.

Thomas was a big frickin' mess with the Pacers, by the way. Larry Bird fired him (a bit of poetic justice for Celtics fans, I might add).

But like Maggie the Cat, Zeke always lands on his feet. A few weeks ago, the New York Knicks named Isiah their President of Basketball Operations. In less than a month, he's already turned Madison Square Garden into a three-ring circus.

I hope things work out for Zeke and the Knickerbockers. I don't want the NBA to turn into even more of a joke.

Things My Employer Never Has To Worry About:

Unlike other television anchors, I will never, ever, get fired because of participation in a wet T-shirt contest.

Because of the "morality clause" in all of our contracts? Umm, Sure. Because I know I need to "represent the community with the utmost class and respect?" Uh-huh. Not to mention the fact that I would never, ever enter such a contest because I would never, ever win.

It actually reminds me of a funny story I heard once about a colleague of mine at another television station. He and his wife were honeymooning in some tropical paradise, and it turned out that their resort had a nudist section. What the hell, right? He's somewhere in the Caribbean, hundreds of miles away from home. So, while his new bride is "freshening up" in the room, he swallows his pride, and goes down to the lounge to wait for her, completely nude. He orders a beer, and while he's waiting for his drink, he notices a couple staring at him. Shortly afterwards, the couple approaches him.

"Aren't you Joe Schmo?" They ask, eagerly.
(not the anchor's real name... I know, you're stunned)
"Ummm, yes. I am Joe Schmo," He replies, hesitating.
"We thought so! We watch you every night on the news!"

I'm sure they've never watched him quite the same way since.

Cosmetic Dilemma

As a woman in her (ahem) Mid-30s, I feel the need to use a variety of wrinkle creams and lotions on my face. In particular, I like to use them on my under-eye area, which appears to be wrinkling faster and faster since moving to the sunny South, where I find myself squinting most of the time.

Here's my dilemma: Most of the products I buy come with the caveat "Avoid use around eyes."

The question is, do they tell me not to use it near my eyes because it's harmful to the thin skin under the eye? Or is it because they're afraid I'll actually get the product in my eyes, causing blindness?

I have the necessary motor skills to avoid getting the product in my eyes. But should I risk it?

I suppose I should also add that I've been using these products around my eyes for months before actually noticing the disclaimer on the packaging. Perhaps I've answered my dilemma for myself.

I Miss Winter

I know, I know... the best part of living in the South is that you don't have to deal with winter. If you've ever noticed my WeatherPixie on this blog, she's rarely very bundled-up. But let's face it: I kind of miss winter. For God's Sake, I used to be a ski patroller (albeit not a very good one).

If you're in the same spot I'm in... Enjoy a little wintertime fun by making your own snowflake. No muss, no fuss.

Here's one that I made tonight.

Freak Watching

Another thing I've linked to before, but well worth repeating. We all have to have a hobby. My parents' is Bird Watching. Mine is "Freak Watching."

See how many of thes listed species you can spot in an afternoon, and report back to me.

I always knew...

that there was something a little strange going on in Alabama.

No More Wire Hangers!

Wow. What an eerie resemblance:




(Thanks to the fabulous Donna Craig for the photo)

Sportslady Science and Tech Awards

I'm sure I've probably mentioned this before, but the inventor of this product should win the Nobel Prize in Medicine.

Return to Middle Earth

Peter Jackson is considering going back in time to shoot a film version of The Hobbit. Pretty cool, I think. My only problem with The LOTR trilogy is that they changed the ending. Seriously changed it. And while some of the stuff that Jackson did was cool, and did a nice job of wrapping things up, it went on and on and on forever. Instead of doing a 30-minute wrap-up, do a five-minute wrap, cut out some of the middle, and show us the real ending.

But I digress. I'd love to see a film version of The Hobbit. It would erase all the bad memories of this version I saw as a child.

Let's Hear it For...

...The Father of our Country. Apparently Ol' Man Washington brewed a wicked pint of beer.

Speaking of Television...

Does anyone else love "Extreme Makeover" as much as I do? The things they do on the show are just amazing. I've been known to tape an episode if I'm going to miss it. In fact, tonight I'm headed to a movie before the show ends, so I'm taping the second half of it so I can see the "reveals" at the end.

My only complaint about the show? The uber-lame "Makeover in a Minute." If I want to see a quickie makeover, I'll watch Oprah. Give me the scalpel!

Urgent Television Emergency!

Does anyone out there tape the show "24?" We were both working on Tuesday night and forgot to tape it! I read the summary on the FOX website, but I still wish I could have seen it.

Counting Down the Days...

Until the 2006 model year comes out. Usually it's about September of the prior year, right? So I've got about 21 months until I can buy a Pontiac Solstice. Seriously, have you ever seen a cuter car?

All I have to do is figure out how I'm going to get my Sunfire to last another couple of years. She's got 92,000 miles on her right now, but she still runs nicely. I'm determined to keep her until my student loan is paid off-- so far, she's cooperating.

Hold That Tiger!

To heck with the co-national championship between LSU and USC. The fine folks at ESPN.com consulted with the brilliant staff at whatifsports.com to determine a virtual national champion.

And the Winner?

You better believe it isn't Southern Cal. LSU rallied with two virtual touchdowns to take the championship, 20-17.

Inspired by Whatifsports.com, I decided to host a virtual Stanley Cup final between the 1997-98 Red Wings and the 1954-55 Wings. I gave home ice to the New Wings (they had two more wins in the regular season). Then, later, I realized that Olympia Stadium doesn't exist any more, so all the games were held at the JLA.

Here Goes:

Game One: New Detroit 6, Old Detroit 1
Game Two: New Detroit 2, Old Detroit 1 (OT)
Game Three: Old Detroit 6, New Detroit 4 (Despite Shanahan Hat Trick)
Game Four: New Detroit 4, Old Detroit 2
Game Five: Old Detroit 5, New Detroit 2
Game Six: New Detroit 7, Old Detroit 5 (Despite Gordie Howe Hat Trick)

The 1997-98 Wings win the Series, 4-2. I'm giving the MVP to Brendan Shanahan for his seven goals and three assists. Nice work, Shanny!

Another Quiz



What Finding Nemo Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Yikes!

I often complain of high utility bills. I'm just glad that this didn't happen to me.

We Got Ourselves a "Rhubarb"

"Stuff" magazine (no, I don't read it) recently posted it's list of the 20 worst sports calls in history.

I love the description of the famed "Pine Tar Incident:"
Trailing 4–3 with two outs in the ninth against Kansas City, Royal pain George Brett bitch-slapped Yankee Goose Gossage for a two-run jack. Sometimes-not-drunk Yankee skipper Billy Martin asked rookie ump Tim McLelland to check Brett’s bat. Sure enough, the pine tar extended beyond the 18-inch limit from the knob—a thoroughly common practice. (Martin later admitted he’d been saving this gem for the right occasion.) The ump nullified the homer, and Brett shot out of the dugout like a howitzer. The league eventually KO’d the homer, and the Royals returned to the Bronx, finished the ninth and logged the official win.

Critical Days Of Our Lives Question

I'm confused... Is Celeste the Salem Serial Killer? Or is she just having another or her wacky "visions?" Help!?!

Spell Check

Here's a new one. When I run the spell-check program on this website, I doesn't recognize my name. No surprise there, right?

But here's the suggested replacement word: "Gristmill."

Huh?

Sportslady's Soapbox

Those of you that know me know that I'm not a fan of hunting. Now, I know a few hunters, and most of the ones I know hunt both for sport and for food... Something I could never do, but something I find much less despicable than people who hunt "for the rush I git when I kill somethin'."

One thing I find particularly disturbing is when people feel the need to justify their bloodlust using warped logic: Like saying that "we're doing the deer population a favor by killing them. Overpopulation is causing them to starve to death, which is much more humane."

Frankly, that's BS. The most overpopulated animal on this planet is the human. There's not enough food on Earth to feed every human mouth on our globe, so people are starving to death at the rate of tens of thousands a day. Do these hunters also advocate killing off 10,000 humans a day to "do the human population a favor?" Of course not.

But I digress.

Today, my friend Mike blogged about the newest hunting fiasco in Alaska. Despite the fact that Alaskan citizens have voted it down twice, Governor Frank Murkowski and the Alaska Board of Game have decided to institute aerial-assisted wolf hunting to help protect the moose population. Now, I'm all for protecting moose, don't get me wrong. But tracking and shooting wolves from helicopters and small aircraft seems a bit... ummm... too convenient. Gray Wolves, by the way, are common in Alaska, but are an Endangered species and are protected in the lower 48 states because they've been hunted to near-extinction in the continental US.

Anyway, if you feel the same way that I do, you can visit the Friends of Animals webpage and sign this petition.

All right. I'm off my soapbox. I promise, no more political rants for the rest of the month. You have my word.

Charlie Hustler

So Pete Rose gambled on baseball. Wow. I'm stunned (insert sarcasm here).

I suppose this means he's a sure bet for the Hall of Fame now. It's really too bad... not that he gambled... not that he was banned from baseball... but that people will probably kiss his ass for finally telling the truth.

Sure, his achevements in baseball are amazing. And his achievements should be in the hall of fame, just like the achievements of the All-American Girls Professional Baseball League are. The league is in the hall, but its great players like Dot Kamenshek aren't hall-of-famers.

I think this article summarizes my feelings about good ol' Charlie Hustle. Come to think of it, this one isn't bad, either.

Get Your Pencils Ready

It's Quiz time, kids... and since the diet starts today, it's food-related.
First on the slate: What flavor Tic-Tac are you?

I am "Fresh Mint".
You are caring and friendly. You have a nurturing
personality and always help out a friend in need.
You are fairly outgoing, and always show a friendly face.
You truly care for other people, and you show it.
However, you may neglect your own responsibilites or become over involved in your friends' personal affairs.

Most Compatible With: Orange


Which Tic-Tac Flavor Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


And one more, just for fun...

I am chocolate! Sweet and good for the soul!


*What Ice cream flava are you??*
brought to you by Quizilla

Insane Jealousy

Yet another co-worker just got a fabulous new job. She's one of my favorite people at work, and she really deserves to move up in television. Honestly, she's so happy to be moving up 50 markets that she glows right now.

Of course, I'm insanely jealous. I'd love to put a great tape together and send it out to every tv station in the country... but I'm just too tired-out to do it. The TV business is like that. You don't really think about looking for a new job unless you're getting burned out... but once you start getting burned-out, you're too exhausted to do all the legwork. Poor Dave (my boss) said he'd only stay here for two years. 19 years later, he's still here, plugging away.

Awwwww

I know I've linked to this before... but honestly, when you're down in the dumps, is there any website better than this one?

This photo is a personal favorite.

Sportslady's Annual Report

One year ago, I started this blog as part of a New Year's Resolution. See, I've always been really crappy about keeping in touch with some old friends. So far, so good. In the last year, I've seen several folks that I haven't seen in years: My best friend from Jr. High School Anne, my former co-worker Sue, and my CMU pal Mike, to name a few. I've also gotten back in touch with another high school friend, Melissa, and just recently, KTVO pal Danny. Not too shabby for one year. I'm sending out some emails tonight to welcome others to my little corner of the internet.

That's right kids, it's been one year since I started this blog (actually, it's been 1 year and two days, but who's counting). My first post was on January 4th, 2003:

The Genesis of the "Sports Lady"
Those of you who lived in Kirksville probably already know me as the "Sports Lady." See, it seems I don't have a name. After 2 1/2 years on the air in Kirksville/Ottumwa, I couldn't go anywhere without folks recognizing me. Every trip to "the mall" (a.k.a Wal-Mart) brought random people coming up to me, all uttering the same query:
"Aren't you the Sports Lady?"
Of course I am.
Now, being the "Sports Lady" brings with it a great responsibility. Apparently, it's my fault if your favorite team loses. So Green Bay Packers fans, Miami Hurricane fans, Indianapolis Colts fans... it's not that your teams suck... it's just my fault.

As for my 2004 Resolutions... I'm still working on them. The diet starts Monday, this much I know for sure.

Can I Put This On My Resume?

God Bless Richard Burkard. Richard's a part time producer at our station, and probably the most knowledgeable person I know about all things Columbus. He's a little quirky (who isn't?), and isn't afraid to speak his mind (not always a prized quality in the world of news) but he has a great dry sense of humor and a big heart (He's a magnet for homeless people, and Thank God, he actually has the patience to try and help everyone he meets.)

Anyway, in Richard's most recent blog post (January 5th), he presents his "Burkard Awards." While many of his "awards" are for much more serious topics, I was mentioned as having... get this: Good Hair. I was edged out by a co-worker and the morning anchor at our competition (who has the shiniest hair I've ever seen), but I'm just happy for the mention.

Now if there was just a way I could put this honor on my resume. Hmmm. Maybe I could squeeze it in somewhere between "Iowa Best Small-Market Sportscast" and the Master's Degree that I'm not using any more.

Overkizzle

Is it my imagination, or is Snoop Dogg the most overexposed human being on the planet? I just watched the most bizarre music video during halftime of the Sugar Bowl... and it was all Snoop, all the time. I mean, does the guy even record albums any more? He's doing commercials for Nokia, for AOL, for "Girls Gone Wild" videos. You name it, he's on the "televizzle" plugging it.

I'll give him credit... the dude's got a great sense of humor about himself. Take the Cadillac "Snoop DeVille", for example. And the "D-O-double-Gizzle " did invent his own bizarre language.

Have trouble translating things into Snoop-lingo? Check out his "Shizzolator".

Two More Holes in My Head

Oh sure, I'm about two decades too late, but today, I got my ears double-pierced. It's been well over 25 years since the first time I got my ears pierced, and I had to deal with an icky infection for what seemed like forever. The memory of all that unpleasantness was more than enough to keep me from doing it again, even when everybody I knew was getting it done. So here I am, in my mid-30s, doing something that most girls do when they're 15. Yep. I'm a dork.

I had one big decision to make: Where to get my ears pierced. At our mall, Claire's is located right next to the Piercing Pagoda. It was a no-brainer. The average Claire's employee is about 17 years old. The women at the PP looked about my age.

First thing she says to me: "I bet you got a nice pair of diamond earrings for Christmas." I said yes, and she told me that's the main reason adult women get their ears double-pierced. I felt a little less dorky when she told me that. Now I just have to wait a month and a half before I can take out these ugly little studs.

Speaking of Birthdays...

Ok, so my birthday was technically a week ago... but I'm really just celebrating it tonight.

As I write this, I've been alive for 12,425 days...
Or approximately 298,223 hours...
And if I lived on Mercury, I'd be 141.20 years old (Though if I lived on Mars, I'd be a nubile 18.09 years).

Perhaps more interestingly, I've blinked about 179 million times in my life time.

Light would have travelled about 200.04 million million miles since my birth.

And if left uncut, my fingernails would have grown about 34 inches.

Not that I'm counting.

Woah.

And you thought this blog was boring.

Own a Picture-Phone?

Become an internet exhibitionist!

Mmm, Mmmm Good

Tonight (a week late), Cory bought me a birthday cake. See, we spent my birthday in K-Ville (see below) and I never got a cake. Oh, sure, I got a beautiful pair of diamond earrings... but I still didn't get a cake. We couldn't have that.

So tonight, after a lot of whining, Cory bought me a very yummy chocolate cake. He even tried to write "Happy Birthday" on it in icing. I just finished a pretty hefty piece of cake right now. I think the week's wait made it even better.

Ahhh, Normalcy

Cory and I have been reveling in the life of the "normal couple" the last few days. I know I've explained this before, but our schedules aren't exactly compatible. Cory works afternoons, I work nights. Cory works Monday through Friday, I work random days, but always work Saturdays and Sundays. Every now and then, I take a couple vacation days or comp days on a weekend, and suddenly we have time to spend together. It's kind of bizarre. We feel the need to go out and do something... anything... because we actually get to spend a little time together.

For the past several days, we've been sort of, kind of, a "normal" couple. We got to spend New Year's Day together all day... and we get to spend this weekend together. It's a little weird, to be honest. We don't want to waste our time together doing something monotonous like cleaning the house, but we're too broke from Christmas to go, say, to Atlanta, or some other more exciting place.

Today was a rare treat... our second full day together (in town) since Thanksgiving. We spent it returning Christmas gifts. Then, joy of all joys, we got to go to a hockey game!

See, Cory and I go to games frequently, but I'm always working. That means I have to watch the game through a tiny little black and white screen on my video camera, and I don't get to enjoy any of it. I also generally have to leave by the end of the second period, which seriously sucks. I never, ever, get to stay for the end of the game.

Tonight's Cottonmouths game was not a gem. Far from it. But it went to an overtime shootout, which even though they lost, was still pretty cool. The really awesome part was that the Snakes' goalie was playing his first game as a pro, and didn't do too badly (21 shots, 20 saves).

But I digress. Other couples really take their weekends together for granted, but I don't. Honestly, it's so nice actually getting to spend time with Cory, I can't even explain it.

Tis' the Season

You know the holidays are over when you've finally played with all of your presents. Today, I finished installing one of my coolest gifts, XM Satellite Radio. Jan and Steve gave me the "Sky-Fi" system for my birthday, and Cory gave me the car adapter set for Christmas. It's seriously cool. For the first time since our ESPN Radio station turned into a gospel/latino station, I now can listen to the Dan Patrick Show either at home or in my car! Hooray!

I suppose at this point, I should mention that I'm a spoiled rotten only child. Even when I was a little kid, and we didn't have a lot of money, I always got tons of presents on Christmas. Even now, at the ripe old age of twenty-fourteen, I'm still pretty spoiled. It also doesn't hurt that my birthday is just two days after Christmas.

Last year, Jan and Steve got me this very computer for Christmas (along with a bunch of other cool stuff). This year, in addition to the XM, they also gave me a really nice digital camera (see the very cute picture of my cat below). I've played with almost all of my new "toys." I've already worn all my new clothes, and I haven't yet taken off the beautiful earrings that Cory got me. I still haven't watched my Winged Migration DVD (you may remember how disgruntled I was when I didn't get to see it at the theater). I still haven't gotten to play with my new golf clubs, either.

As for giving, I try to give good gifts. I really do... but this year I felt so uninspired. Maybe it's because I had to get all my shopping done by the first week of December. I just couldn't think of anything good to give anyone. Cory's easy enough... He always sees little gadgets he likes, so I just keep a mental checklist. Jan and Steve are another story. They're already pretty difficult to shop for, but living 900 miles away makes it a lot harder. For example, one of the gifts I got my dad was a computer game that I thought he'd really like. Only one problem: His computer's on the blink, so he won't be able to play it.

The next gift-giving challenge: Jan's Birthday, at the end of the month. I think she's going to come visit us for her birthday, though I still have to clear the time-off with work before she can make any plans. I still have four weeks to figure something out for her birthday.

2004 Stock Tip

I know, it's still very early in the new year to be making any projections. However, based on the trend established over the last few days, you might want to invest in Procter & Gamble, manufacturers of Pepto-Bismol. I suspect they'll be making an awful lot of money off of me in the coming year.

(And no, my perpeptual indigestion has nothing to do with Michigan's previously mentioned loss to USC.)

Go Blue

Just as I hit the "publish" button to make my last post, Michigan scored a TD. The score is now a slightly more respectable 21-7 in the Third Quarter.

Hail to the Losers

I've been watching the Rose Bowl for the last hour or so. As I write this, Michigan's losing 21-0. Pretty sad.

I'd like to see the Wolverines win for a couple of reasons, actually... No, I didn't go to U of M, but I like to see them win. Second, If USC loses, then it'll end all the quibbling over the BCS, and all the whining by Southern Cal fans about how they "belonged" in the national championship game.

Happy New Year!

Cory and I rang in the New Year at the Uptown Columbus overpriced pub crawl. We spent most of the night at Scruffy Murphy's, an Irish Pub-type hangout (the website is actually for their Orlando location... but you get the picture). It was a little depressing, in that we've lived in this city for over two years, and we don't have any friends to spend New Year's Eve with. But the band was good... sort of a ska/funk type cover band.

The last few New Year's Eves around here have been pretty tame. Two years ago, Cory moved to town on December 30th, and I had to cover the Peach Bowl (Auburn vs. UNC). The game ended around 10:45 pm, I had to do an 11:25 live shot, and we rang in 2002 sitting in a traffic jam in Downtown Atlanta.

Last year, Jan and Steve were visiting. We drove back from Panama City that afternoon, and we were kind of pooped out. Jan was sick, so we went to the Cannon Brewpub for dinner, then came home, watched the tube, and split a bottle of Champagne.

New Year's is actually one of my favorite holidays. It's right up there with Halloween. I've had some pretty crazy New Year's Eves... Spent most of my Kirksville New Year's at a bar called TP's office, best known for it's owner, Paul Fowler, and his wacky habit of dressing like Elvis and putting on a show. My last couple of years in the 'Ville, everyone from work got together at our friend Josh's house, rented a karaoke machine, and had a blast. New Year's Day, nobody had a voice (good thing ABC airs a ton of bowl games, so we didn't have to do newscasts... we would have been screwed!).