Ink-A-Dink-A-Doo

So today, I signed up for unemployment benefits. Fun stuff, huh?

And guess when my printer ran out of ink? Oh, I knew it was coming-- it's been over a year since we replaced the cartridges, and the color one never worked. So today, I had about 15 pages of application, instructions, and claims forms to print-- and no functioning printer.

I ended up going to the store and just about had a seizure when I realized I'd be blowing 60 bucks on new ones. $60! I could damn near buy a new printer for $60.00. And, here I am, trying sooo hard not to spend any money on unnecessary things during my period of unemployment. But then, I realized that not being able to print resumes and employment applications was probably going to put a cramp in my job-hunting... so I sucked it up and shelled out the cash. Ugh.

You know, I should go to pages like Inkjet Deals.info, because I'm sure it would be a heck of a lot cheaper to buy printer ink online. So I checked it out. They index different websites who deal with inkjet cartridges, and the prices were so-so on new ones-- better on re-conditioned cartridges... and they also have a page of Coupon Codes for each of the websites that they index. And we all know how much I love coupons. I don't buy anything that isn't on sale.

So, if you're not an idiot like me... and you can actually remember in advance that you might need printer ink-- or laser printer toner cartridges, check it out. It might keep you from having a heart attack in the office supply store.

I guess now that I've printed out all my materials, that makes me officially unemployed... with the paperwork to prove it. Good times.

Things are looking up...

...at least a little.

I went into the station on Friday, just to fill out paperwork, turn in my keys and whatnot, and I didn't cry once. I'm pretty proud of myself. I haven't even cried since Thursday night/Friday morning when I had my little birthday breakdown.

Some of you probably think I'm crazy-- you'd love it if you got "downsized." And having a little time off will be nice.

But see, here's the thing. I loved my job. And I'm I was one of those few lucky people on this planet that actually had the job they dreamed of for most of their lives. And I guess I should feel fortunate that I had the experience at all-- but I really don't feel that way. I feel like I'd barely even had a taste of it-- and then it was all just ripped away from me. It's truly heartbreaking.

Of course, there are lots of other reason why I've been freaking out for the past month or so. Like the mortgage. And the bills. And the fact that there are virtually no jobs out there that I'm qualified for.

But mostly, it's just complete and total frustration-- You show up for work, do your job, don't bitch about it, don't call in sick, and don't fudge your time-card. You try to be nice to your co-workers. You play well with others, even when you don't want to. And you're pretty good at what you do-- maybe not the best, but definitely not the worst-- And absolutely none of that matters.

Like I said, though... things are looking up. Some of our friends threw a little surprise birthday party for me on Saturday night. It's going to sound so juvenile and selfish-- but it's exactly what I needed. Marisa even gave me some fun gifts... including this. I can't wait to make a crazy-ass sock monkey with my copious spare time.

Just Glad it's Over

Wow. That birthday was rough.

You always hear about "getting laid off around the holidays," and how horrible it is. And yeah, it's pretty low. But at least starting the New Year while you're unemployed makes it easy to pick your top New Year's Resolution.

I can now say from experience that losing your job around your birthday is much, much worse.

It's pretty rough to start a new year of your life with a giant reminder that you're a loser. I half-expected to see a big "REJECT" stamp across my forehead when I woke up this morning.

There were many, many other factors-- ones I really don't have the energy to think about again-- which led to a pretty ugly birthday. And poor Cory had to deal with an hour-long crying jag at the end of the day.

But let's focus on the good stuff-- Presents. I got some nice ones from Cory and from my parents. And check out these beautiful roses from my mom!

I'd have put a picture of my cake in there, too... but it's already half-eaten. And if my mood doesn't get much better, I may eat the rest of it in one sitting.

Anyway, it's my "un-birthday" now (Thank God)!

Happy un-birthday to me!

Happy Birthday To Me!

That's me, 36 years ago to the day. I think we've probably found the root of my fascination with Chocolate. And pukey green. And saddle shoes.

Cute kid, huh? Those were good times-- back before I knew any better. Maybe I should start wearing my hair in pigtails again.

Any guesses as to what's on the TV behind me?

Hit the Lights

Cory's family is down here for the holidays-- and his dad rented the same house they rented for the Wedding. It's out in the "nice" (read: expensive) part of the Cape-- the only part of town that has two-story houses. And no, I'm not kidding. Two-story homes are pretty rare around here.

Anyway, one of the things that Cory and I both like about driving out there is that people in that part of town actually have landscaping-- and they know how to light their yards... or at least their landscapers know how to do it.

Since Cory and I only have a small condo-- with an even smaller "yard," landscaping and lighting realy haven't been a high priority for us. We really wanted to get some little solar lights for our walkway, but never got around to it.

I like the solar lights because they're energy-efficient-- and I never even realized that you can now get outdoor lighting in the form of LED lights. They hardly cost anything (at least, not compared to other lighting), and the lights last forever.

You know, It seems like LED lights are everywhere all of a sudden-- I saw them in the Christmas aisles at the stores this year-- and pretty soon you'll be able to buy LED landscape lighting online, too.

So, gussy up your yard... and save the planet, too!

Wordless Wednesday

Forget your holiday poinsettia, your amaryllis, or your Christmas cactus. This is what was blooming in our yard on Christmas day.



The Festivus Bougainvillea is in Bloom.

I'd write more... but I wouldn't want to be late for work on my last day. They might fire me.

Oh... wait...

Merry Christmas!

For a while, I thought that Cory and I should go to the beach and take our pictures wearing Santa hats-- then post the photo on this site for you all to see.

Then, I thought maybe I could use our new webcam (more on that later) to post a Christmas video from the two of us (three, if Zoe is feeling cooperative).

Finally, I came to the realization that you don't need to see us. You need to see something much, much cuter. If these little furballs don't warm the cockles of your heart, then you may want to go get your cockles x-rayed-- because there's something wrong with you.



Really, aside from otters holding hands, is anything in the world cuter than baby pandas wrestling?

Pop Quiz, Hotshot

Due to my impending unemployment (I work today and Wednesday, then they boot my booty out the door), I've decided to take a little mental vacation... and do some fun web quizzes while I pretend that everything's A-Okay in my life.

Okay, so a website about Structured Settlements might not be the place you'd expect to find fun quizzes, but I'm sure you can find much stranger things on the "interweb." This one has a quiz to see if your blog is family-friendly (and really, who the hell would want to read that?), if you're financially secure (if I was, I probably wouldn't be blogging for money), and your odds of living to be 100 years old.

67%
Settlement Quotes - Structured Settlements

For what it's worth, I don't want to live to be 100. It doesn't sound like a whole lot of fun. Sure, there are some pretty spry centegenarians out there-- but I think there's also a lot of them who probably would just rather jump in front of a mack truck. Then again, I've been feeling a little pessimistic lately, so maybe in 62 more years, I'll feel differently about it.

Happy Humpday!

To most people, "humpday" is Wednesday-- the day that signifies you're "over the hump" as far as the work-week goes.

The other day, I was talking with my dad, and he called the winter solstice "humpday." It makes sense... you're halfway through the dreary part of the year, and every day from now until late June, we'll get a little more sunlight every day. The solstice arrived nearly 24 hours ago-- meaning the sun will be a little higher in the sky tomorrow... and the next day... and the next... until pretty soon, it's summer again.

Anyway, all of this is just a lead-up to Saturday's NASA Astronomy Picture of the Day, a cool composite photo from the 2005 winter solstice. And if you have a little time, go back and check out some of the NASA APODs from earlier this year. There's some pretty awesome stuff.

(A Wordy) Wordless Wednesday

Ok... so my original plan for Wordless Wednesday was to post a series of pictures from the Florida Everblades' annual "Teddy Bear Toss." I had my digital camera at the game and took a ton of pictures as thousands of stuffed animals rained onto the ice after the Blades' first goal on Saturday night.

However, the pictures are still in my camera, and I lack the motivation to transfer, crop, resize and upload them.

Then, I thought, I can just post the pictures of our bougainvillea that's blooming right now. But I took the photos with Cory's camera, and we seem to have lost the USB cable that connects his camera to the computer. Strike two, I guess.

So, instead, you get another "used" picture that's been living on my computer for years. I promise I'll post those other photos soon-- after all, it's not like I'll have much to do with my days once I'm unemployed!

Mackinac Bridge, Mackinaw City, Michigan

Sigh of Relief

I had such a happy thought today-- I'm done Christmas Shopping!

Usually, I start Christmas shopping months beforehand, but because I've been nervous about my job (apparently with good reason) for several months, I put it off until December. And I'm already done! Hooray!

Because of my impending unemployment, there are a lot of people I didn't buy gifts for this year. And we're not sending Christmas cards for basically the same reason. So if you don't get a card (or a gift) from me this year, don't be surprised.

So anyway, I had that happy thought... and then I realized... I doubt Cory's done much shopping for his family. And they're going to be here in a week.

Crap. I guess I'm not done shopping after all.

Hostess with the Mostess

So-- now that I'm just a little more than a week away from the unemployment line-- it's time to start thinking about what I'm going to do with all the free time that I anticipate having in the near future. After all, there are only so many job-search websites out there, and I'm getting to be a pro at scouring them all in under two hours.

My plan? Dream up a million-dollar website. A lofty goal, I know... but a girl's gotta dream, right?

I already have my website domain name registered (and no, I'm not going to tell you what it is. I can't have you stealing my ideas!). Now, I just need to design everything, and find a host for my site.

Well, guess what? Just like there are job-search websites (and believe me, there are a lot of them) and travel-search websites, there's also a site where you can search for your ideal web host... and it's an easy address to remember: http://www.webhostingchoice.com

You type in your requirements (how much memory you need, and how much you're willing to pay per month), and it suggests one of 40 different web hosting services (Though in my searching, I've discovered that it seems to always recommend HostGator.)

"Web Hosting Choice" also has customer reviews of hosting providers and plans, and a little quick startup guide for dummies like me that really aren't sure what the heck they're doing.

Okay, so even with their help, I'm probably not going to make a million dollars. Hell, I've had this site for nearly five years and I've only earned about $150.00. But like I said, a girl can dream, right?

Marketing Genius

Cory and I were watching the Division II National Championship game today-- Sadly, Valdosta State University rallied to beat Northwest Missouri State-- but I digress.

 

Anyway, we happened to catch a commercial for a demolition tool.  You know, if you have to rip out the ugly tile in your bathroom, or tear down a wall in your house, you need a tool to do it.  Sure, you could just use a big hammer.  But if you have access to a special tool, designed just for that purpose, wouldn't you use it?  And if it had the greatest product name ever, wouldn't that make it even more enticing?

 

I give you:  The Stanley FUBAR.

 

Awesome.

 

How Cool is this?

So you're addicted to YouTube. Or you're addicted to karaoke (like my husband). Or maybe... just maybe... you think you're the second coming of Elvis himself.

Do You Want To Be Famous & Win $10,000?Then check this shiznit out: Impersonated.com. All you need is a decent voice (or as they say on their website, "all it takes is a little bit of talent") and a webcam, and you can become an instant internet celebrity.

Oh, you'd better believe I've already perused the site ad nauseum. My favorite? The 8-year-old girl singing "Needle and the Damage Done." by Neil Young-- with absolutely no idea what she's singing about. My second favorite? The Japanese woman (Complete with kimono) singing "Mamma Mia" by ABBA. Really. I *heart* ABBA in the first place... she make it just that much more... um... something.

By the way, if you don't win the ten grand, there's plenty more where that came from. Apparently, they've scoured the web for the most exciting range of goodies they could lay their greasy little hands on... like MP3 players, camcorders, and cold, hard cash. Good times.

I just might put on the ol' Cher wig and sing my heart out. In my soon-to-be unemployed state, I don't have anything to lose, right?

Thursday Thirteen

The last few weeks have been pretty rough around the O'Dizzle homestead. I don't really feel like going into detail about it. Let's just say that this Thursday Thirteen is half venting my anger, and half a pep talk to myself.

Thirteen Reasons why losing my job isn't the worst thing in the world:
1) I still make less money than I did as a teacher ten years ago.
2) The construction on Palm Beach Boulevard may never end.
3) I might... someday... get to work "normal" days and hours (working until midnight-- at the earliest-- on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays sucks).
4) I won't have to deal with the Boston Red Sox-- or the (ugh) Boston media-- any more.
5) No more calls on my cell phone waking me up every morning with the "plan for today."
6) Never having to smell a hockey locker room again.
7) Pretty soon, I'll be able to go to the store without makeup (and wearing sweatpants) and nobody will recognize me.
8) Very few of my co-workers talk to me anyway, so I won't really miss most of them.
9) Unless I get a job on a highway road crew, I probably won't have to sweat my ass off out in the sun every day of the spring, summer, and fall (and parts of winter).
10) No more hanging out at high schools. I had a high school kid scream "Whore!" at me last week when I wouldn't put him on TV. Very nice.
11) No more lugging around a 27-pound camera. Or a 15-plus pound tripod. I'll be spending a lot less money on ibuprofen.
12) The pride of cashing a $275.00 unemployment compensation check every week. Because nothing is better for your self-esteem than sucking off of the government's teat.
13) There'll be cake on my last day. Or at least, there'd damn well better be cake. If not, I might just burn the effing building down.

Want to check out other people's (probably much less depressing) Thursday Thirteens? Then visit the T-13 Blogroll!

Wordless Wednesday

Jackson Square, New Orleans, La.

April 2007

For more Wordless Wednesday, visit the W.W.Website.

Only In Florida- Hall of Fame Edition

This isn't a new story-- but it's one of my all-time favorites. It's also a running joke in our office at work.

Back in 2002, then-Green Bay Packers running back Najeh Davenport was accused of breaking into a woman's dorm room at Barry University in Miami, hiding in the closet, and leaving her a very unpleasant piece of sports memorabilia. Specifically, he defecated in her laundry basket.

As a tribute, one of my friends named his Fantasy Football team "Davenport's Dooky" (or is it spelled "dookie?")

For what it's worth, Davenport denied it, asking "Where's the evidence? Where's the manure?" at his court appearance. He agreed to do community service to settle the felony burglary charge and criminal mischief count.

Only In Florida

Some people see images of the Virgin Mary in a grilled cheese sandwich... And who am I to mock? She made $28K off of it. Of course, she was from Florida (The woman with the sandwich. Not the B.V.M.)

In addition to "holy toast," a pancake with an image of Mary and Jesus was also from... you guessed it... Florida.

And now this... a man in Florida is convinced that Jesus is in his ribcage. And no, I can't see it. Can you?

Thursday Thirteen

Recently at work, we had a little contest in the newsroom. Everyone wrote down something unusual about themselves-- then we all had to figure out who was who. Out of 25 random facts, I guessed about eight correctly. Better than most-- but I've also worked there longer than most of my department, so I've had a little more time to get to know everyone (or at least observe them).

There were plenty of interesting facts I could have submitted for myself-- but most of them would have been easy guesses for my coworkers. For example, I've touched the Stanley Cup-- but I also did a news story about it.

So, my fact was-- I've had 22 jobs (I think it's actually more than that. As I write this, I just remembered one that I didn't count!)

This week's Thursday Thirteen: The first 13 jobs I ever had.

1) Hotel Maid at the Spartan Motel. Yikes. I think I got paid $30 a day-- though we got to cash in all the deposits on the beer cans left in the rooms, which earned us each about five more bucks on a good day. The Spartan was the "party" motel for all the high school kids. It's also where the carnival folk stayed when they came into town. Oh, and the hotel sponsored a kids' baseball team... "The Quickies."
2) McDonald's. Need I say more? I didn't last very long. By the way, minimum wage was $3.35 an hour.
3) Salad Bar Attendant at the Big Boy. The owner was a total bastard, but the people I worked with were a lot of fun.
4) All-Around everything at Foland's... which was a local chain reminiscent of "Service Merchandise." I worked at this place on and off for five years, until they went bankrupt. And I literally did every single job there at one point or another.
5) Cashier at a little store in the same mall as Folands, called "Kandi's Fashions." I never met "Kandi," mostly because she didn't exist. The owners were foreign, the clothes were ugly and overpriced, and there were never more than one employee in the store... which wasn't a problem since our customers were few and far between. I think I maybe sold $200 worth of merchandise in the summer I worked there.
6) Meijer. I worked the midnight shift in the toy department. You wouldn't believe the number of people who think it's completely appropriate to drag their kid to Meijer at two in the morning. The summer between my freshman and sophomore years in college, I worked at Foland's during the day and at Meijer during the midnight shift. I literally remember nothing from that summer.
7) Hudsons, which has since changed names to Marshall-Fields, and then was bought out by Macy's. Really, they're all pretty much the same. Middle-to-upscale department stores. I worked in the jewelry department of the Oakland Mall store. The discount was really good, and I had a lot of cute clothes for the next year or so as a result.
8) File clerk at the Alumni Relations office at Oakland University. It was on-campus employment, so I only did this for a semester, and I only worked 10 hours a week. I remember typing up a lot of labels.
9) Arena Hostess at the Palace of Auburn Hills. This was the first two years that the Palace was open-- and the Pistons won championships both seasons (unfortunately, they won both titles on the road). I saw a lot of awesome concerts those two years.
10) Stringer/Freelance Writer for a little fish-wrapper called "The Weekly Post." I was paid by the column inch. And I still have all of the articles I wrote, which weren't very good.
11) Public Relations Coordinator for a startup video dating service (Which, by the way, had the creative business name of "Video Dating Service.") The guy who owned the place was completely clueless, and I spent the majority of my time proofreading and re-writing his horribly written flyers. I did get to do some radio ads for it. When I went back to school in the fall, I quit the job, and the place was closed by the next summer.
12) Pizza King. What a sh*thole. I made pizzas (because they wouldn't allow women to be delivery drivers) and still have scars up and down my arms from their crappy oven. The owner was a very unhappy man-- he had been Tom Monahan's original partner. One of them went on to be a zillionaire pizza magnate. The other owned a crappy pizza place in Mid-Michgan. Their radio ads had a damn catchy jingle, though. I still remember the phone number because of it.
NOTE: I just found out-- the Pizza King burned down! Long live the Pizza King!
13) Manpower. I applied for a temp job, and I wound up actually working at the Manpower office. It was a blast. There were only three of us that worked there, so we were a pretty tight-knit group.

So, there they are. And here's the funny part-- Those jobs only span a 10-year stretch... and I had several other jobs during that same time... including an internship coaching speech at a rich-kid high school, a very brief stint as a residential maid (I got to clean Jerry Ball's house... which was a little weird.), and my grad-school teaching job.

So, how many jobs have you had?

Oh! And don't forget-- visit the Thursday Thirteen Blogroll!

Communication Breakdown

So here's a little question for you: Do Men and women communicate differently? According to my Master's Degree in interpersonal communication, the answer is yes. And I'm inclined to belive that, since I spent about ten grand to learn about the way we communicate.

I mean, think about it? The way we communicate is a direct result of our personal experiences. How many times have you heard yourself saying the exact same things that your mother (or father) said to you a million times while you were growing up? (And if it hasn't happened to you yet, I assure you, it will.)

So since women's experiences are very different from men's experiences, it stands to reason that the way that the two genders communicate would differ as well, right?

Not according to the Sedona Method. They say that these perceived communication differences are just stereotypes that make us focus on our differences instead of our similarities.

Ok. I'll bite. But here's the thing that confuses me. From what I understand, the Sedona method teaches us how to suppress our negative emotions. Now I'm all for feeling better about myself, and getting rid of my self-esteem issues... But don't we need those negative emotions? If we're angry and we're hurt, shouldn't we try to understand it? And shouldn't we communicate those emotions with our loved ones?

Wordless Wednesday

(Ok... so I'm cheating. It's not actually Wednesday. At least, not where I am. I'm post-dating this to make it a Wednesday post. And it's also not "Wordless." I couldn't find a photo I liked, so I'm posting a link to the promo that Cory produced for Wednesday night. So it's a "worded non-wednesday." Whatever.)

Ah, Christmas...

Some call it the "season of giving."

Others call it the "most wonderful time of the year."

For still others, it's The season when their electric bills skyrocket because of elaborately lit displays... Unless, of course, you can think of a more "environmentally friendly" way to display your Christmas spirit.

Like maybe an electric eel-powered Christmas tree? And no, I'm not kidding.

Bypassing the Belly

I keep seeing commercials for the "Lap-Band," and I have to say, I'm a little intrigued. The way I understand it, it's kind of like a kinder, gentler, more temporary version of gastric bypass surgery.

What a brilliant idea, right? I mean, all those celebrities who have had gastric bypass... and all those horrible stories they tell afterwards, like, "All I can eat in one sitting is six peas. Really. Any more than that, and I might die."

Oh... and how about Star Jones? Remember a few months ago, when she made the "shocking" announcement that she'd lost 150 pounds using (gasp!) gastric bypass. As though there were a person alive who: a) cared, and b) was naive enough to believe that she'd suddenly shed half her body weight using diet and exercise.

Now, I'm not knocking Star Jones because she had the surgery. If it makes her feel better about herself-- and makes her live a more healthy lifestyle, then good for her. I'm knocking her because she didn't just come out and admit it. Oh, and also because I find her to be annoying and talentless.

So anyway, back to the Lap-Band. From what I can tell, it's a little silicone belt that surgeons install around your stomach to make it smaller. And it's a much less invasive surgery.... as long as you can get around the fact that someone basically put a zip-tie around your stomach. Whatever works, right?

Anyway, I know you'll be stunned by this, but apparently one of the biggest clinics that does Lap-Band surgery is in L.A. Crazy, I know. Who would think that Los Angeles would have a lot of people concerned about their body image? there's also lap-band Houston, and even a clinic here in God's waiting room, Florida.

Faith (Somewhat) Restored

I was pretty surly when I went to bed last night. The day started fine... I got up early to cover a story, and I felt pretty secure in the knowledge that either Missouri or West Virginia would play in the college football national championship game. And even better, both of them might play in it.

Hell, that's why most of us watch sports, right? For the surprise of an under-the-radar program like Missouri to make it to the big game. College Basketball fans loved watching George Mason's run-- and Gonzaga is a perennial fan favorite among hoops fans-- simply because of their no-name factor. As for West Virginia, they've been getting a little bit better every year... I hoped that this year they'd get the big payoff.

But then Missouri fell behind to Oklahoma... and blew it. And then West Virginia just couldn't score against Pitt (really? Pitt? Have they even won a game since Dan Marino graduated?), and the Mountaineers lost, too.

I was prepared for the inevitability that Missouri could lose to the Sooners. They lost to them earlier in the year. I was not prepared for the remote possibility that the 'Eers could lose.

Does anyone want to play for the damn national title?

So, now it looks like (ugh) Ohio State will play in the BCS Championship. Blech. I don't like OSU as it is... and I work with some really obnoxious Buckeye fans who have made me hate their school even more.

But then... it got worse. After work, Cory, Andrew, and I went out for a bite to eat at my new favorite hangout, Bar Louie. And we watched Hawaii play Washington. Yes, Hawaii. The Rainbow Warriors have become my favorite football team to watch over the last four or five years. If he was so inclined, June Jones could turn me into the greatest quarterback in college football. He's that good.

Now, Hawaii will never play for a national title. They can't get teams to spend the money to travel to Hawaii to play them, and their isolated location means they can't recruit a team full of blue chips the way that most schools in middle America can. But guess what? Only one school in Division 1-A College Football is undefeated. And it ain't Ohio State.

So, Hawaii's playing for a shot at one of the BCS games. If they're undefeated, the BCS committee really can't deny them a trip to, say, the Sugar Bowl. Well, I guess, they could... but they probably wouldn't.

But stupid Hawaii kept turning the ball over in the first quarter. Colt Brennan, who's been my sleeper pick for the Heisman Trophy all year, fumbled the ball away on their first posession, and before I'd even realized what had happened, Washington was up 21-0.

My little heart was breaking for the Warriors. When I got home and went to bed, Washington was up 28-21, and I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer.

So, imagine my surprise this morning, when I woke up and turned on ESPN, and found out that Hawaii won the game!

Sure, they won't get to play for the national title, but I don't care. The national championship game wasn't half as fun as last year's Fiesta Bowl, when Boise State stuck it to Oklahoma. At least I can watch Hawaii play in a meaningful bowl game this year. Oh, and when the title game rolls around, I can root for whoever ends up playing against the Buckeyes

The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

In just the last few days, Cory and I have seen a couple of promos for the movie "Sweeney Todd" with Johnny Depp. I honestly can't think of anyone better to play the role of the Demon Barber of Fleet street. He really straddles the line between cute and yet creepy, innocent and yet evil, better than any other actor I can think of.

I've seen the Sondheim Musical, Sweeney Todd, at a production at Oakland University back when I was a senior in high school. The main character was played by my drama coach, Tony (I can't remember his last name-- only that all of the girls in our class had an insane crush on him). The play was great. You don't see a lot of musicals about serial killers, after all-- let alone ones who get their ladyfriend to bake the victims into meat pies.

Without going into too much detail-- Sweeney Todd does it all to get revenge-- primarily against a particularly nasty judge who raped his wife, stole his child, and banished him. For more details, you can visit the official Sweeney Todd movie site.

I don't think there's anyone out there that hasn't fantasized about getting revenge against someone... though hopefully not through murder or human-meat pies. Really, though, I think revenge is a driving force for a lot of people. Seriously, think about it. You get told your whole life that you're ugly, and you dream of turning into a beautiful swan "just to show them that they're wrong."

So tonight, Cory and I were talking over a beer about revenge scenes in movies. I asked him which were his favorites, and he reeled off a lengthy list-- mostly from movies I've never seen. "The Godfather" (because waking up next to a severed horse's head definitely qualifies), "Hostel" (I've never seen it, but apparently there's a pretty amazing revenge scene which involves finger-removal), and "First Blood," the original Rambo movie, where he gets his revenge against the Sheriff (and most of the town, as well).

I brought up the movie "Fatal Attraction," but I refuse to discuss it any further because I don't want to think about what happened to that poor little bunny.

My favorite revenge scene doesn't come from a movie nearly as gory. I love the utterly stupid revenge that the Deltas get in "Animal House." Seriously. They get even with Dean Wormer, Faber College, ROTC, the Omegas, and even the Mayor-- simply by ruining the homecoming parade. Good times.

Well, sweeney Todd isn't in a fraternity, nor does he boil anybody's pet bunny. His revenge is a bit more bloody. And, from the looks of the trailer on the official website, also a bit more entertaining. Seriously... anything Tim Burton touches turns to gold-- even if it is a musical about a serial-killing barber.

Oh, and if you're feeling lonely, you can visit Sweeney Todd on MySpace. I bet if you ask really nicely, he'll even be your "friend."