Things are looking up...

...at least a little.

I went into the station on Friday, just to fill out paperwork, turn in my keys and whatnot, and I didn't cry once. I'm pretty proud of myself. I haven't even cried since Thursday night/Friday morning when I had my little birthday breakdown.

Some of you probably think I'm crazy-- you'd love it if you got "downsized." And having a little time off will be nice.

But see, here's the thing. I loved my job. And I'm I was one of those few lucky people on this planet that actually had the job they dreamed of for most of their lives. And I guess I should feel fortunate that I had the experience at all-- but I really don't feel that way. I feel like I'd barely even had a taste of it-- and then it was all just ripped away from me. It's truly heartbreaking.

Of course, there are lots of other reason why I've been freaking out for the past month or so. Like the mortgage. And the bills. And the fact that there are virtually no jobs out there that I'm qualified for.

But mostly, it's just complete and total frustration-- You show up for work, do your job, don't bitch about it, don't call in sick, and don't fudge your time-card. You try to be nice to your co-workers. You play well with others, even when you don't want to. And you're pretty good at what you do-- maybe not the best, but definitely not the worst-- And absolutely none of that matters.

Like I said, though... things are looking up. Some of our friends threw a little surprise birthday party for me on Saturday night. It's going to sound so juvenile and selfish-- but it's exactly what I needed. Marisa even gave me some fun gifts... including this. I can't wait to make a crazy-ass sock monkey with my copious spare time.