Bypassing the Belly

I keep seeing commercials for the "Lap-Band," and I have to say, I'm a little intrigued. The way I understand it, it's kind of like a kinder, gentler, more temporary version of gastric bypass surgery.

What a brilliant idea, right? I mean, all those celebrities who have had gastric bypass... and all those horrible stories they tell afterwards, like, "All I can eat in one sitting is six peas. Really. Any more than that, and I might die."

Oh... and how about Star Jones? Remember a few months ago, when she made the "shocking" announcement that she'd lost 150 pounds using (gasp!) gastric bypass. As though there were a person alive who: a) cared, and b) was naive enough to believe that she'd suddenly shed half her body weight using diet and exercise.

Now, I'm not knocking Star Jones because she had the surgery. If it makes her feel better about herself-- and makes her live a more healthy lifestyle, then good for her. I'm knocking her because she didn't just come out and admit it. Oh, and also because I find her to be annoying and talentless.

So anyway, back to the Lap-Band. From what I can tell, it's a little silicone belt that surgeons install around your stomach to make it smaller. And it's a much less invasive surgery.... as long as you can get around the fact that someone basically put a zip-tie around your stomach. Whatever works, right?

Anyway, I know you'll be stunned by this, but apparently one of the biggest clinics that does Lap-Band surgery is in L.A. Crazy, I know. Who would think that Los Angeles would have a lot of people concerned about their body image? there's also lap-band Houston, and even a clinic here in God's waiting room, Florida.