Monday Madness

Wow! Look at this... I'm actually posting this nearly an hour early!

1. I've always been afraid of what other people think about me.
2. People should not talk on cell phones while (where do I begin?) at work, driving, in restaurants, on a date, using a public restroom... shall I continue?
3. The one thing I look forward to every day is checking my email and looking to see if anyone commented on my blog. Sad, huh?
4. My first meal of the day usually consists of Diet Pepsi. Sometimes Diet Mountain Dew.
5. It seems like cleaning is a never-ending job (which is why I rarely do it).
6. The last time I painted a room in my house/apartment was about eight years ago. I rented a spider-infested rat-trap in Kirksville and the owner told me she'd reduce my first month's rent if I repainted.
7. The next time I paint, I'd like to paint my _____(room) ____(color). This is a hard one to answer. See, as you may have heard, I'm moving in less than a month. Right now I don't have an apartment, much less a room to paint any color.

One More Bitch to Give

I hate audio that's "too" real on radio and TV commercials. I know you've been there... driving down the highway, taking a very liberal interepretation of the speed "limit," when suddenly, you hear a police siren.

Crap! You tap the breaks, hoping that the siren is for someone else.

After scouring your rear-view mirrors for flashing blue lights... and not seeing any at all... you realize that the siren was just a sound effect on a radio commercial. The worst part? The next time you hear the commercial, you'll do the exact same thing.

I just had the same thing happen to me as I sat in my office preparing for the 10 pm Fox newscast. A ringing phone was driving me crazy. It wasn't mine. It wasn't Dave's. It wasn't the edit bay phone.

Nope. It was a ringing phone on a commercial.

Fortunately, nobody was back here to see me trying to find the source of the infernal ringing. Of course, since I've now told you about it, you still know how much of an idiot I am.

Happy Bitchgiving!

I hate to be a pessimist, but... ok... Actually, being a pessimist is in my nature. I don't hate it at all... it's really all I know.

While I should be giving thanks this Thanksgiving holiday weekend, for things like a new job and friends who are willing to share their holiday meals, I also have a few pet peeves about the holidays:

1) Working. And having to constantly respond to comments like "Wow, it must suck having to work on Thanksgiving." Yes. Yes it does. Thank you for reminding me. And it's not like people watch the news on Turkey Day. The American public figured out long ago that the only things we have to offer on Thanksgiving are stories about Tryptophan, a visit to the soup kitchen, information about highway accidents and busy airports, previews of "Black Friday" at the mall, and highlights of the Lions and Cowboys games (they both lost this year).
2) Cory spending time with his family. Of course, he should be with them... especially since I'm stuck at work. But I'm an only child. I don't share well.
3) Disney movies that make me cry. Just before the newscast, I was in my office, bawling my eyes out at the end of "Finding Nemo." Seriously. And I'd seen it before. It's not like it was a surprise that he (SPOILER ALERT!) finds Nemo at the end.
4) Crappy TV (other than Disney movies). I hate that Days of our Lives does a stupid clip show the day after Thanksgiving every year. Some of us have nothing better to do on our holidays than watch your crappy show. Throw us a freaking bone and do a real damn show. The cast taped it two weeks ago, so it's not like it would ruin anyone's holiday by putting a little effort into it! Oh, and by the way, this year's crappy clip show episode was an hour-long plug for their crappy clip show website.

There it is. My day-after-Thanksgiving bitch list.

I now hereby declare the day after thanksgiving to be "Bitchgiving!"

Don't miss out on this new holiday tradition! Leave your Bitchgiving bitches in the comments section!

Happy Thanksgiving (Gloria Gaynor Style)

Two different people have forwarded this Turkey Day greeting to me... So I'd be remiss if I didn't pass it along to my adoring public.

"I will Survive (Turkey Day Edition)"

Breaking News!

This blog has been sitting on a big announcement for quite some time. Tonight, I called the news conference and made the announcement.

For details, visit Kaos or TarheelTV. Then you can come back and offer me your congratulations. And I'll fill you in on all the juicy details then.

Until then, I'll share the rest of the evening with you. We had an early Thanksgiving dinner at Casa de Stack, where Stack and his lovely gal-pal Layla cooked up a delicious feast. Turkey, ham, stuffing and dressing (ask him what the difference is sometime), mashed potatoes, rolls, green bean casserole, jiggling towers of cranberry sauce, and a variety of dessert items. I may not even have to eat anything tomorrow, I'll still be stuffed. Thanks, kids!

Monday Madness... Now with more "Monday!"

By the way, I was very disappointed with the lack of participation last week. Granted, I was late posting last week's Monday Madness... but I still hope for a little feedback!

1. I have little or no patience when it comes to people who pretend to be helpless just to get other people to do their work for them.
2. I wish I could spend more time with Cory-- and not more time with him while at work.
3. The most productive thing I accomplished this past weekend was working.
4. The most enjoyable thing I did this weekend was sleeping.
5. I've always wanted to learn how to play sports without embarrassing myself.
6. If money wasn't an issue, I'd buy a house someplace tropical.
7. I blog because it's the easiest way to keep in touch with all of my old friends scattered across the country.

More Madness

I've been knee-deep in crap to do this week... more on that later... but it wasn't until today that I realized I still hadn't posted this week's "Monday Madness." So imagine my disappointment when I finally went to the Monday Madness website and the questions were really lame.

So, instead of doing this week's crappy MM, I've decided instead to go back a few weeks and do the list from October 24th.

1. diamonds or pearls? Diamonds. Though beggars can't be choosers.
2. paperback or hardcover books? For reading, paperback. For show, hardcover
3. carpet or hardwood floors? Since I can never find my slippers, I guess I have to go with carpet.
4. dogs or cats? Cats.
5. fluffy or firm pillow? Fluffy.
6. fine point or medium point pens? Medium. When I write with a fine point pen, I always feel like I'm going to rip through the paper.
7. clocks a little fast or on time? Always a little fast, because I'm a little slow.
8. mahjong or spider solitaire (or other)? Mahjong.
9. wall calendar or desk calendar? Wall. I end up doodling on desk calendars.
10. 'Survivor' or 'The Amazing Race?' "Amazing Race" by a mile. "Survivor" blows. And who the hell cares if Gary Hogeboom is on "Survivor?" The guy started for three seasons. And in 1984, as the Dallas Cowboys starter, he threw twice as many interceptions (14) as he did touchdowns (7). Pathetic. When the highlight of your football career includes being 9th all-time in passing yards at Central Michigan University, that's just sad. And yet, CBS promotes it like he's freakin' Joe Namath. (By the way, I'd pay to see Broadway Joe on "Survivor." That would be great!)

Move Over, Tobey Maguire

My spidey-sense tells me that this is a crock:

Your results:
You are Spider-Man

Spider-Man 75% Hulk 75% Iron Man 65% Superman 55% Green Lantern 50% Supergirl 46% Wonder Woman 46% Batman 40% The Flash 40% Catwoman 40% Robin 38%

You are intelligent, witty, a bit geeky and have great power and responsibility.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...

Whew...

If you didn't watch college football on Saturday, shame on you for having more important things to do with your life. It was a helluva ride. Eight teams in the AP Top 25 were upset, including Alabama's first loss, an overtime heartbreaker to LSU. (and depending on the final result of the Oregon/Washington State game, there may be another upset in the works. WSU's up 14-10 at the half as I write this.)

But the big one was Auburn's insane win over Georgia. I honestly can't describe it here. Fortunately, ESPN.com can.

Today was a crazy day, because the LSU/Bama game and the Auburn/Georgia game both ended while I was on the news set, talking about them. In fact, in both instances, the game-winning scores happened while I was on the set. Let's just say that it kept me on my toes.

Tomorrow, a much easier day. The Falcons don't play until 4:15, which means I can go to Buffalo Wild Wings with the boys (Cory, Kaos, and an assorted band of merry men from both my station and from "The Warble") and watch a little football before work.

I'm pooped.

Looking on the Bright Side

There is at least one benefit to being sick.

When the plumbing system at work backs up, and the entire downstairs smells like dookie, it's not such a bad thing to have a stuffed-up nose.

What can I say? Sometimes the glass really is half-full. Of course, sometimes it's half-full of dookie, but that's another issue entirely.

Monday Madness

Back in the day, I used to do the "Friday Five." But then, the girl who ran the "Friday Five" website stopped posting her questions.

Tonight, while blog surfing, I stopped by at Jo's Cafe. Lo and behold, she'd posted a link to "Monday Madness." And there we have it: Instant blog post!

1. Sometimes I wish I could just quit my job.
2. If I could take a long weekend to spend time with Cory, I'd be very happy.
3. The world would be a better place if more people would just learn to drive.
4. One of my greatest qualities is my work ethic (which is why I don't quit my job-- see #1).
5. The one thing about me that I need to work on is household cleanliness.
6. Happiness is something that I'm still trying to figure out.

Your turn. I expect participation.

Monday's Checklist

DayQuil (or generic equivelant thereof)- Check.
Zinc Lozenges- Check.
Box of Tissues (Kleenex ultra with lotion)- Check.
Zicam Nasal Gel- Check.
My brain- Oops. I knew I forgot something.

It seems like every fall and winter, I get sick twice. Once, the week of the Auburn/Georgia football game (sometimes stretching into "Iron Bowl" week), and once, the week that Dave takes for Christmas vacation.

Sunday was the day my first cold of the season struck. Honestly, I thought I'd somehow avoided it. Cory was sick about a week and a half ago. Last week, I had a sore throat Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. And then it went away. Maybe that's the worst I'll get, I thought.

Wrong.

It kicked my butt last night. Today, I was functioning a little better, thanks to massive doses of the above cold remedies. I should say that I was physically functioning better. Mentally, well, that's another issue.

The word "forgetful" doesn't even begin to describe my actions on Monday. Despite a reminder from Dave just fifteen minutes earlier, I forgot to take two football feeds, forgot to take the SEC basketball feed, and forgot to write a NASCAR update, which is a required part of my sportscast on Mondays. I managed to ad-lib something for NASCAR, but it wasn't pretty. During our dinner break, we stopped by the apartment to get my nasal spray, and Cory asked me to bring something downstairs for him. I forgot to do that. And while I remembered to dose up on my nasal spray, I forgot to take it back to work with me.

Maybe it's bird flu. Is a headful of mush a symptom?

Hurricane Humor

My friend Jason sent me this email today. He and his partner, Peter, live in West Palm Beach, where that bitch Wilma just blew through.

You have FEMA's number on your speed dialer.
You have more than 300 'C' and 'D' batteries in your kitchen drawer.
Your pantry contains more than 20 cans of Spaghetti O's.
You are thinking of repainting your house to match the plywood covering your windows.
When describing your house to a prospective buyer, you say it has three bedrooms, two baths, and one safe hallway.
Your SSN isn't a secret, it's written in Sharpie on your arms.
You are on a first-name basis with the cashier at Home Depot.
The road leading to your house has been declared a 'No-Wake' Zone.
You decide that your patio furniture looks better on the bottom of the pool.
You own more than three large coolers.
You can wish that other people get hit by a hurricane and not feel the least bit guilty about it.
You rationalize helping a friend board up by thinking "It'll only take a gallon of gas to get there and back".
You have 2-liter coke bottles and milk jugs filled with water in your freezer.
Three months ago you couldn't hang a shower curtain; today you can assemble a portable generator by candlelight.
You catch a 13-pound redfish ---- in your driveway.
You can recite from memory whole portions of your homeowner's insurance policy.
At cocktail parties, women are attracted to the guy with the biggest chainsaw.
There is a roll of tar paper in your garage.
You can rattle off the names of three or more meteorologists who work at the Weather Channel and every single newscaster and reporter at all of the major stations in town.
Someone comes to your door to tell you they found your roof.
Ice is a valid topic of conversation.
Relocating to South Dakota does not seem like such a crazy idea.
You spend more time on your roof then in your living room.
You've been laughed at over the phone by a roofer, fence builder, or a tree worker.
Having a tree in your living room does not necessarily mean it's Christmas.
The hurricane shutter guy and your roofer are driving BMW's.
You know the difference between the "good side" of a storm and the "bad side."
You go to work early and stay late just to enjoy the air conditioning.
A battery powered TV is considered a home entertainment center.
A chain saw, generator or a gas grill comes as a free gift with your new house.

A B-Minus American

You Passed the US Citizenship Test

Congratulations - you got 8 out of 10 correct!

Could You Pass the US Citizenship Test?

Out of curiosity, I checked to see which I got wrong. I didn't know the year the Constitution was written, and I wasn't sure which New England state was not a member of the 13 original colonies. History never was my best subject. Of course, neither was math. I'm not sure, actually, that I had a good subject in school. I did, however, excel at lunch and recess.

I'm the Mathmagician!

You Passed 8th Grade Math

Congratulations, you got 10/10 correct!

Could You Pass 8th Grade Math?

And yet, I still have difficulty balancing my checkbook without using Quicken. Go Figure.

Reason #4,192 Why I Love XM Radio

While I was driving home from work at about 1:40 a.m., in a sleepy stupor, I heard "Little Guitars" by Van Halen, a song that I don't think I've heard since I was in college. Of course, I immediately switched into Karaoke mode, and surprised myself by actually remembering about half the lyrics. Not bad for a song I haven't heard since about 1991.