Back on the Grid

After about a week and a half of moving, priming, painting, plumbing, more painting, tiling (not to mention several days without internet access), I'm back on the grid... just in time to wish everyone a MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Yuck...

After a long morning of painting, sanding and priming yesterday, I returned home to get ready for work. I flipped on the TV, and there was an infomercial on. For a colon cleansing product.

Seriously.

An infomercial for a colon cleansing product.

Half an hour long.

Colon cleansing.

On my television.

I thought it was a joke. Sadly, it wasn't.

Paging Dr. Nobel....

I've long believed that there should be a special Nobel Prize category for advancements in everyday living. I nominate the inventor of this stuff: EZ Track ceiling paint. Seriously. It goes on pink and dries white. How cool is that?

I think I might be a little dizzy from the paint fumes.

Congratulations!

Apparently, you're TIME Magazine's Person of the Year. In fact, so am I.

I'm considering adding a line on my resume. I'll put "2006 TIME Person of the Year" above my last Georgia Association of Broadcasters award. Don't think I won't do it.

Wire Worries

Last night, while I was writing my last couple of scripts before the newscast, I spotted an unusual word on the AP Wire Bulletin: Kirksville.

As city names go, Kirksville isn't nearly as common as, say, Springfield. While I'm sure there are other Kirksvilles somewhere, the only one I know of is the one in Missouri. The one where I lived for seven years. The one where Cory was born and lived the majority of his first 25 years. So of course, I clicked on the story:

KIRKSVILLE, Mo. (AP) - Seven people were found dead Sunday in a duplex in northeast Missouri, police said. Police Chief Jim Hughes confirmed the deaths but would not discuss a suspected cause or release details about the victims. Police were trying to make positive identifications and notify relatives. Emergency officials went to the home after receiving a 911 call around 2:30 p.m. saying there were a number of unresponsive people and an unusual odor in the duplex. Foul play had not been ruled out, Hughes said. About two dozen people, many saying they were related to the victims, gathered in the street near the taped-off investigation scene seeking answers about the deaths. Police obtained a search warrant and removed a Dodge minivan from an enclosed garage beneath the duplex. Kirksville, home to Truman State University, is about 165 miles northwest of St. Louis.

I know most of my readers live in big cities or big suburbs. And I know that when you hear "Seven people were found dead in Atlanta today," you probably don't overanalyze it, even if you live in Atlanta.

When I lived in the 'Ville, it had a population of about 14,000. And when you live there for seven years, working first for the county's largest employer and second for a television station, you get to know a vast majority of those 14,000 residents. Seven people dead in a duplex in a town that size is pretty scary.

I looked online until I found out the name of the street where the bodies were found. It's one block away from the first home Cory remembers. Like I said, Kirksville's pretty small.

The odds are against me knowing any of the people who died, I realize this. But I've become a little obsessed with the story. My personal suspicion? Somebody was cooking up a batch of meth and it went wrong. Northeast Missouri has a pretty bad meth problem, and meth labs "Blow up" fairly frequently in that part of the country. That "unusual odor" might have come from a meth lab gone horrible wrong.

Regardless of how it happened, it really hit home for me.

Welcome to Adulthood

At 36 years, 11 months, and 15 days, I've finally made one of my last leaps into adulthood. Today, Cory and I closed on a condo.

It didn't go off without a flaw. Because the Cape is a giant flood zone, we had to get supplemental flood insurance in addition to the condo policy. The problem is that the documentation for our flood zone doesn't seem to exist. We were originally supposed to close on Monday, but couldn't get the documentation in time. Our realtor asked for an extension until Wednesday, but somehow the title company ended up rescheduling for Tuesday. Since we couldn't close without a very generous contribution from my dad, that meant that our wire transfer had to come much sooner than we planned. But somehow, it all came together just in time for our closing at 2:00 today.

Cory and I just went over to our new condo. We have a lot of work to do. The previous owners were artists, and they had a unique "creative vision" for the apartment. The front hallway is orange and hot pink. The baseboards are hot pink, the closet doors are bright teal, one bathroom is bright blue, the other is bright purple. In short, all the things that made the condo kind of cute and unique now have to be covered up. Yikes.

Ho, Ho, Ho-ly Crap, that dude's scary!!!

I found this last night-- pictures of kids terrified of Santa. I have many favorites, far too numerous to list here. Ok... well, maybe just one. Billy Bob Thornton didn't look as hung-over in "Bad Santa."

Productivity Enhancer

I've found a new way to kill time at work while I'm waiting for something interesting to happen-- Sudoku Combat. You can actually play a Sudoku puzzle while competing against other people. I've determined that while I'm fairly smart (if I do say so myself), I'm not exactly the fastest person out there.

(Update 1/26/07: The address for Sudoku Combat has changed.)

Only In Florida

It's been a long time since I posted one of these-- but this one was worth a mention. Why rent a pony for your kid's birthday party, when you can do this instead?