Attention Collectors!

You can now own a piece of the most embarrassing moment in US professional sports history.

EBay Auction Item number: 5142028292 "Actual cup thrown at Ron Artest Pistons Pacers Brawl."

Despite the fact that the authenticity of this item would be difficult, if not impossible, to verify, it's a hot item.

Half an hour ago, when I first heard about the EBay auction, it was listed at $73. As I write this, the price has climbed to $598.00. Freaking ridiculous.

Help Winky and Wanda


I've always been kind of torn on the topic of zoos. On the one hand, I don't think I'd have developed my love for animals if I hadn't made frequent trips to the Detroit Zoo as a kid. On the other hand, it always depresses me to see caged animals.

I try to believe that most people who run zoos have the animals' best interests at heart. It certainly seems like Detroit Zoo Director Ron Kagan does.

The Detroit Zoo's elephant enclosure is an acre... not very large, but 16 times larger than the legal requirements. Several months ago, Kagan decided that the zoo's elephant enclosure wasn't good enough for Winky and Wanda, the zoo's aging, arthritic elephants. Winky is 51, Wanda is 45. So he petitioned the American Zoo and Aquarium Association to be able to send the pair to an elephant sanctuary, where they could spend their final years roaming freely in a warm climate. The decision made headlines nationwide.

But the AZA told him no. They told him to transfer Winky and Wanda to Columbus, Ohio. Kagan appealed the ruling. The AZA turned him down.

From Friday's Detroit Free Press:
"...Kagan argues that Columbus uses outdated, inhumane methods involving blows with a sharp-pointed bull hook; the ground in the enclosure isn't soft enough to ease arthritis symptoms; the climate is barely warmer than Detroit's; and on a per-elephant basis, has no more room than Detroit."

So, because he wanted to do what's best for these animals, Kagan is essentially being told to send them into a worse situation instead. The AZA, of course, doesn't see it that way. They claim that their decision is in Wanda and Winky's best interests because of the close proximity between the two zoos and because the "modern elephant facility" in Columbus, Ohio would give them solid medical care and more social interaction.

If you want to weigh in on poor Winky and Wanda, you can sign this petition. You can also email the AZA. If you're feeling particularly motivated, you can even call AZA Director Syd Butler at (301) 562-0777.

Holiday Shopping Tips:

If you're looking for the perfect gift for that "person who has everything," you may want to head over to Target. They have some... um... unusual items up for sale. Fortunately, I've never seen this particular product on the shelves.

Motown Blues

Great. This is exactly what my hometown needed.

I actually worked at the Palace of Auburn Hills for two seasons. Thank God nothing like that ever happened when I was working.

Girlie Men Trump Queens

For the second time this season, the Girlie Men Express dominated the Kirksville Casino Queens in Frozen Tundra Fantasy League Play, 247.2-182.1.

The Girlies improve to 7-3, while the struggling Queens fall to 2-8.

For the second straight week, the Girlies were led by a solid defensive and special teams effort. The defense collected three sacks, two fumble recoveries, and a touchdown all before notching the game-winning safety in overtime. The Express special teams added a punt return touchdown to cap the leagues' best performance of the week.

The defense was able to overcome a second straight sluggish performance by quarterback David Carr, who tossed three interceptions and lost a fumble. The cold weather made it difficult for the Girlie receivers to hang on to the ball: Only tight end Jeremy Shockey managed to score a touchdown reception.

Though the passing game struggled, the Girlie rushing attack surpassed expectations against the Queens. Domanick Davis scored a pair of touchdowns, Brian Westbrook found the end zone despite playing with bruised ribs, and Ahman Green tallied 145 rushing yards.

In week 11, the Girlie Men Express will battle Chuck's Senior Citizens (6-4), who currently hold third place in the Frozen Tundra League. The Girlies topped the Seniors 205.7-188.8 in the second week of the season. Chuck's squad is led by a solid defense, along with the rushing skills of Tiki Barber.

Dare I Say It????

War eagle.

Ahhhhhhhh.......

Just a moment to relax.

It's been a very, very, very long week. For those of you that aren't college football types, we're at the NCAA college hotbed this week. Auburn (ranked #3 in the nation) is hosting Georgia (#8 on the AP poll, #5 on the ESPN/USA Today poll). If Auburn wins, then they have a shot at the national championship. It's always a good game, but this year it's HUGE.

Anyway, as I said, I've been busy. I only got to take one day off last week, because of the election. This week, I didn't get to take any days off. And on Wednesday (one of my so-called "days off"), I worked until 3:45 a.m.

Thursday (my other "day off"), I did a live show from Toomer's Corner in Auburn. It was stress city... but at least I was super-prepared because I'd stayed at work so late the night before making sure everything would be ready. Fortunately, I had a co-anchor, Elizabeth, to keep the stress from getting too high.

The show went really well... or so I've been told. I've been too pooped out to actually watch a tape of it yet. Today, it was Dave's turn to do the whole bit. I had to anchor the 6pm show and do all our usual Friday night "Sports Overtime" routine.

The other piece of good news? Tonight was our last "Sports Overtime" of the season!!!!!!!

Hooray!

I celebrated with a 1:00 am milkshake at Steak-n-Shake. Not the smartest thing for a girl with lactose-intolerance issues... but damned if it wasn't the best milkshake ever!

Oh, Happy Day

Let it be known that as of today, November 9, 2004, Cory and I have been together for exactly four years.

So, you might ask, how are we spending the big day?

Well, I'm currently on my dinner break in the middle of a 14-hour work day. Cory couldn't take his dinner break with me because he had to spend it teaching a class of high school kids.

I've seen him for a grand total of about five minues today.

I did, however, buy him the nicest gift that $4.00 can buy-- a large lemonade from Toomer's Drugs in Auburn, Alabama.

(Addendum... Cory didn't even deserve the lemonade. After telling me several times that he'd have to work late tonight, I stuck around after the newscast, doing some busy work that I'd much rather wait and do tomorrow. By 12:20, I finally started looking for him, to tell him I'd be ready to go in about 15 minutes. And yet, I couldn't find him anywhere in the building. So, I called home. Sure enough, he'd snuck home while I was anchoring the news and didn't bother to tell me he was leaving. So, after working a 14-hour day, I sat around at work for an extra hour... for absolutely no reason. )

Weenie.

Girlie Men Pressured by Chiefs

For just the third time this season, the Girlie Men Express failed to garner a victory in the Frozen Tundra Fantasy Football League (FTFFL) season. The Girlies lost a hard-fought 250.1-220.9 battle to the Pressure Chiefs in Week Nine.

"Our passing game struggled all weekend, and that really was the difference-maker for us," explained 'The Sportslady' after the game ended late Monday night. "David (Carr) passed for 245 yards, and that's just a little under his average. He just had trouble getting it into the end zone."

The Girlies needed a solid passing effort, because the squad's top two running backs were unavailable. Ahman Green and Brian Westbrook were both sidelined for the matchup. This season, the two have combined for eight touchdowns, over 1,600 yards, and 385 total fantasy points.

Both will be available for week ten, but Westbrook's carries may be limited.

The Sportslady said she was impressed by the performance of Tyrone Wheatley, who the Express acquired as a free agent last week. Wheatley had missed much of the year with injuries, but rallied in his Girlie Man debut, posting two rushing touchdowns.

The Girlie Men don't lose any ground in the FTFFL standings. Their 6-3 record is still good enough for sole possession of second place behind the Waukesha Blackazzez. Next week, the Girlies will face the last-place KV Casino Queens, a team that the Express beat 223-164 in their first meeting.

The Pressure Chiefs improve to 4-5, and climb into a sixth-place tie in the league standings.

Only at Wrigley Field

We've all seen the Chicago Cubs figuratively self-destruct. Apparently, they could do it literally as well.

Hey, Lardass!

You're ruining the environment. Now go do some pilates.

Clearing the Air

Forgive me if my posts tonight don't make much sense. I'm in a post-election, sleepless, acid-refluxed delirium. To make matters worse, I just saw The Manchurian Candidate for the second time, and it probably wasn't the best movie to go see in my current condition.

My thoughts on the election? I'll try to keep this as non-partisan as possible. Here's my big question: When did the American election system go to hell in a handbasket? No, this isn't another rant about the electoral college... It's a rant about the messed up and inconsistent voting systems across the nation.

Here in Georgia, we use an electronic voting system, something I'm not horribly fond of because there's no "hard copy" of any ballots. I think we've all had a credit card, library card, or Sam's Club membership card that has inexplicably lost all of its information. Who's to say that my little yellow election card won't do the same thing? Apparently, there are several fail-safes in the computerized voting that internally audit the process, but I'm still not so fond of it. But after reading articles like this one, chronicling computer error in electronic voting, I'd at least like a printed receipt like I get at the ATM!

Second, the hanging chads and pregnant chads have made their return. Does anyone think it's a coincidence that Ohio, a state that still uses punch-card ballots, was the most controversial state in the 2004 election? In fact, the ACLU even tried litigation to keep Ohio from using the dreaded punch card ballots this year.

Third, what's up with provisional ballots? The impression I get is that the majority of provisional ballots are cast by people who: a) don't know where they vote, or b) Changed their name/address and never bothered to fix their information. My feeling on this? If you're one of these people who didn't put forth the effort to determine where you're supposed to vote, then you don't deserve to vote.

How is it that the last two U.S. elections have made third-world elections look "fair and balanced?" Seriously. Nations without running water are hearing about our screwed-up elections and allegations of voter fraud and laughing. Sure, I remember hearing about corrupt elections (Chicago and Kennedy come to mind), but it seems as though 2000 was some kind of launching point. I don't think it's our overly litigious society... though that's probably part of it. But elections now are closer than ever... remember when Mondale only won D.C. and Minnesota? When Carter won less than 50 electoral votes?

In this new era of national security, is our nation that divided? Or is it that, when all is said and done, our system of "checks and balances" ensures that our presidential candidates really aren't that different? I certainly like to think that George W. Bush and John Kerry are very different people.

Where is this rant going? I have no idea. I just had a few thoughts that I wanted to get out. there's a lot more still bottled up inside, but trust me, you don't want to hear them. And if you do want to hear them, I'll refer you to my pal Mike's blog. Admittedly, he's a bit more reactionary than I am, but the sentiments uttered are the same.

Girlie Men Mid-Season Report

With a record-breaking victory in the eighth week of the season, the Girlie Men Express have climbed into sole possession of second place in the Frozen Tundra Fantasy Football League (FTFFL). The Girlie Men (6-2) trail only the 7-1 Waukesha Blackazzez. The Blackazzez only loss came three weeks ago, at the hands of the Girlie Men.

The St. Louis Broncos entered Week Eight in a second-place tie with the Girlie Men Express, who were playing without injured running back Brian Westbrook. Even with his absence, the Express scored 292 total points, breaking the previous league record of 274.6 set by the Pressure Chiefs in Week Five.

The Girlie Men's 292-163.5 win also set a FTFFL record for the largest margin of victory.

In Week Nine, the Girlie Men face the Pressure Chiefs (3-5).

"The Chiefs have faced some tough opponents this season," said Girlie Men Owner/Coach "The Sportslady" on Thursday. "They don't play like a 3-5 team. In fact, they're leading the league in total points scored. The Pressure Chiefs are always dangerous."

The Sportslady has been involved in a relationship with Pressure Chiefs Owner/Coach Cory O'Donnell for the past several years, but she downplayed the significance of their relationship heading into game week.

"We both take this league very seriously, and we both expect to emerge from this game victorious."

O'Donnell added, "Fifty-one weeks out of the year, it's not an issue. But this is Girlie Man week for our squad. You have to throw the friendships and records out the window and prepare for battle."

Best Election Soundbite of the Night:

Rep. Harold Ford, Jr.(D-Tenn.): "It's all about Ohio.... we're feeling very optimistic. Remember, the Red Sox were down three games to the Yankees."

1001: An Election Odyssey

For the 1,001st time, I'm committing my thoughts to the internet. That's right... this is the 1001st post that the Sportslady has made to Postcards From Columbus.

Tonight, I wasn't so much of a Sportslady, though. I was assigned election duties in the newsroom. On the one hand, it kind of sucked. I had a lot of work to do, and I got none of it done. That means I'll have to come in on my day off to catch up.

On the other hand, it was pretty cool. Sure, most of the time I was sitting at my desk, waiting for the phone to ring, and then calculating results and percentages. But I actually felt like I was part of the democratic process... even though I was just plugging numbers into a computer.

Voting, on the other hand, didn't make me feel good at all. For the first time in the five presidential elections since I turned 18, I don't live in a "battleground" state. Let's face it. Bush got nearly 60% of the vote in Georgia. Because of the electoral college system, no matter who I'm voting for in the presidential elections in Georgia, my vote doesn't make a difference.

But in Missouri and Michigan, at least the votes are close. Very close, in the case of the Great Lakes State. And I can't even tell you how cool it would be to live in Cuyahoga County, Ohio.

Here's my proposal: In the presidential elections, citizens should have to vote in whatever state they lived in during the previous census. After all, the census regulates distribution of electoral votes. Doesn't it kind of make sense?

Sure, a lot of people would have to vote using absentee ballots. At the same time, the people who really cared about the election would be willing to do that.

I'm rambling now. My head is swimming with red and blue states.