Larger Than Life

I can't believe I've resisted posting this photo for so long.

As you may already know, the University of Kansas is playing in the Orange Bowl tonight. The University of Kansas also has a very large coach, Mark Mangino. Larger than life, some might say. I know the Orange Bowl mascot probably thinks so.

You know you're a fattie when you're actually larger than a mascot.

My mother has, on occasion, referred to me as a "chubby chaser," because the men I've dated have typically fallen into the "teddy bear" category. The way I see it, I'm a big girl. 5'9" on a short day. I need to date big guys. Just not Mangino-size.

Ok, really quickly, I need to tell my favorite Mark Mangino story.

My friend Molly went to Kansas. And every year, she makes it back for at least one football game. In fact, right now, she's at the Orange Bowl, freezing her ass off. So, last year, Molly and some of her old college friends go to the homecoming game. And they're joking around about how fat their coach is. One of their friends, who doesn't follow football, asks who they're talking about. Molly points down at the field and says, "That's him. Between the 40 yard line and the 42 yard line."

And her friend squeals, "Oh my God, our coach is two yards wide!"

Just at that moment, Mangino turns to the side. And Molly's friend squeals, "He's two yards the other way, too!"

That's a true story.

Here's another: One time, Mark Mangino was driving through Kansas City on a recruiting trip. He traveled down I-435, got off at the wrong exit, and got lost. After driving around for close to an hour, he finally stopped at a gas station to ask for directions.

"Hey," Mangino queries, "How do I get back to 435?"

The gas station attendant replies, "You might try eating a salad."

Ok, so that one probably isn't a true story. But it's damn funny.