Alice Doesn't Live Here Any More

I've been living in Columbus for about 15 months now, and I'm still getting about one wrong number call a week. It's one of the main reasons why I screen all my calls. The wrong numbers are often (though not always) for the same person, so I've come to two conclusions.

1. The phone company made a very quick turnaround when doling out my phone number.
2. The person who had my phone number last had some really stupid friends.

Actually, it could be a combination of both, now that I think of it. At any rate, my most recent wrong number was possibly the best so far. I wish I could download the real audio on the website, because you really have to hear her to get the true depth of her stupidity, but I'm sure this transcript will give you a pretty fair idea:

(long pause) Um, that was....... oh....... uh, I didn't like the way you just said your uh...... your voicemail thang....... it was awful........ oh, this is um....... Natasha....... um........ call me....... I just wanted to see if you still want me to come pick you up........ because...... um....... (extra long pause here)..... I had..... I was gonna get ready to come over there and, uh, was..... I didn't know if you was home...... bitch..... if you get back, call me..... at 6..... ouch!...... call me at 665-1416...... skank...... bye, bye and happy New Year....... (extra long pause) *click*

Now let me reiteratem, I don't know this "Natasha" person. I'm not sure if she had Turret's Syndrome... or if she had a brain for that matter.
It's probably worth mentioning the "voicemail thang" she thought was so awful was my outgoing message:
"Hi, you've reached 569-XXXX, no-one can come to the phone right now, so leave a message after the beep and we'll get back to you as soon as possible."

She's right. Just awful.
By the way, feel free to call Natasha at the above number and leave a retarded message on her machine.