Phoning it in

I keep forgetting to write about the bizarre thing that happened to me on Sunday.

Cory and I went to Bar Louie on my lunch/dinner break. The one here in town just opened a few months ago, so it's never very busy, and Cory likes to go there to watch football because he can watch the Chiefs in peace.

Anyway, at some point while we were there, I needed to use the restroom. And as I was "doing my business," I could hear the exterior bathroom door open and a woman talking. I assumed she was with a friend. I was wrong. She was on her cell phone.

Now, I've ranted about cell phones plenty of times. In fact, I've even ranted about people using their cell phones in public restrooms. But this one gets even better.

This woman was on...... drumroll please....... speakerphone.

I'm sure we've all been on the phone and thought the person we were talking to might be in the restroom. Perhaps we heard what sounded like water running. Or tinkling. Or other things not safe for polite conversation (I know... since when am I polite?) But if you're on speakerphone in a public restroom, that's pretty hard to disguise. Not only did her friend know what she was doing... her friend knew what I was doing. Yuck.

But get this: That wasn't even the weirdest part. The weirdest part was the phrase that the woman said as she was walking into the bathroom in the first place.

"He's probably down at the pier, snorting lines off a dead fish."

Seriously. Where do these freaks come from???