Holiday Shopping

As we all know, Father's day is just around the corner... and generally, I love shopping for gifts. I usually start Christmas shopping around September, and don't stop until December 24th. But Father's Day is a different story. My father has to be just about the hardest person in the world to shop for.

When I was a little kid, it was easy. Steve had a handlebar moustache that he curled up on both ends (don't laugh... it was cool in the '70s), so every year, I'd buy him a little tube of moustache wax. Yes, such a thing actually exists.

Then, when I got older (and got a raise in my allowance), we progressed to the old standby-- the necktie. Ties and dress shirts seemed to work well into my adulthood.

Now, here's the problem. For the past few years, Steve's worked in the Warren Tech Center (with about 20,000 others. It's strange to think that more people work there than live in Kirksville, Missouri). Anyway, the dress code there is "business casual." Translation: no neckties necessary. Father's Day has gone completely downhill since then. Last year, I got him a gift certificate for the Outback Steakhouse, which was all right, I guess. To me, buying a gift certificate is like admitting defeat. It says: "I couldn't think of anything better to get you." (The exception is weddings, when it says "All the crap on your registry was ugly, and I didn't want to be seen in public purchasing items in such bad taste. Go buy them yourself.")

Again, I digress. Today, I found a Father's Day gift, but I honestly don't know if he'll like it or not. In fact, I have to run to the post office right now to mail it. And no, it's not a membership in the "Friends of the Handlebar Club," either... though don't think I didn't consider it.