A Load of Bulwer

If you haven't caught the results from this year's Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, you really must.

"What," you ask, is the "Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest?"

Best described on their site: "...A whimsical literary competition that challenges entrants to compose the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels."

This year's Grand Champion is from Alabama. I know what you're thinking, so I'll answer it now: Yes, people from Alabama can read. Ha ha.

My personal favorite is the winner from the "All Creatures Great and Small" category:
His knowing brown eyes held her gaze for a seeming eternity, his powerful arms clasped her slim body in an irresistible embrace, and from his broad, hairy chest a primal smell of "male" tantalized her nostrils; "Looks like another long night in the ape house" thought veterinarian Abigail Brown as she gingerly reached for the constipated gorilla's suppository.

Eeek. There's a novel I'm not sure I'd want to read.

For the entire list of winning entries, click here.