Only In Florida
Ok, ok... I know. I did it again... leaving my blog to wither and die while I'm off perusing other websites like Twitter and Facebook.
But lately, our very own Cape Coma has become a hotbed for freakitude. Sure, Florida's always been a hot mess... but usually it's on the east side of the state. Apparently, the migration has made its way to our side of the state. Call it Manifest Destiny, I guess.
I submit, for your reading pleasure, two recent gems from our fair hamlet:
Cape Coral- January 14, 2009
Cape Coral shoplifter run over twice by getaway car
To summarize: A woman walks into our local TJ Maxx, stuffs six purses into her pants, and walks out the front door. The store's crack loss prevention team (not to be confused with a loss prevention team on crack) follows the suspect outside. A silver Saturn comes squealing up, and the suspect, pants still full of purses, tries unsuccessfully to leap inside. Instead, she misses, and gets run over.
I quote from the News-Press article: "Undaunted and apparently none the worse for wear, the woman got up and jumped onto the hood of the car while the driver headed for the parking lot exit.... the woman fell off the hood and was run over again."
Here's the best part. Somewhere in all the mess, a check-- made out to the suspect--fell out of the car. Oh, and the "getaway" car was registered in her name.
Cape Coral- February 4, 2008
Cape Coral man arrested for "dirty date" with blow-up doll
There's a shopping center a couple of miles from my house... it has a Publix (which is a grocery store) and a Target, along with a couple smaller stores in between. At about five in the afternoon on Wednesday, the parking lot was particularly busy. See, a crowd surrounded a Lincoln Town Car, watching in disgust/horror/confusion/glee as a man inside the car was molesting his two inflatable girlfriends.
Officers arrived and got him out of the car-- he was wearing shorts with "a large opening in the front." The shorts were confiscated, presumably as evidence. TruTV has already contacted the powers-that-be about covering the case.
By the way, he claims his intent was to purchase clothing for his "ladyfriends" at the nearby Target. No mention of buying himself a new pair of shorts.
One of my co-workers probably put it best: "Wow. I can only imagine the look of surprise on his girlfriends' faces when the police pulled up."
Priceless.
But lately, our very own Cape Coma has become a hotbed for freakitude. Sure, Florida's always been a hot mess... but usually it's on the east side of the state. Apparently, the migration has made its way to our side of the state. Call it Manifest Destiny, I guess.
I submit, for your reading pleasure, two recent gems from our fair hamlet:
Cape Coral- January 14, 2009
Cape Coral shoplifter run over twice by getaway car
To summarize: A woman walks into our local TJ Maxx, stuffs six purses into her pants, and walks out the front door. The store's crack loss prevention team (not to be confused with a loss prevention team on crack) follows the suspect outside. A silver Saturn comes squealing up, and the suspect, pants still full of purses, tries unsuccessfully to leap inside. Instead, she misses, and gets run over. 
I quote from the News-Press article: "Undaunted and apparently none the worse for wear, the woman got up and jumped onto the hood of the car while the driver headed for the parking lot exit.... the woman fell off the hood and was run over again."
Here's the best part. Somewhere in all the mess, a check-- made out to the suspect--fell out of the car. Oh, and the "getaway" car was registered in her name.
Cape Coral- February 4, 2008
Cape Coral man arrested for "dirty date" with blow-up doll
There's a shopping center a couple of miles from my house... it has a Publix (which is a grocery store) and a Target, along with a couple smaller stores in between. At about five in the afternoon on Wednesday, the parking lot was particularly busy. See, a crowd surrounded a Lincoln Town Car, watching in disgust/horror/confusion/glee as a man inside the car was molesting his two inflatable girlfriends.
Officers arrived and got him out of the car-- he was wearing shorts with "a large opening in the front." The shorts were confiscated, presumably as evidence. TruTV has already contacted the powers-that-be about covering the case.
By the way, he claims his intent was to purchase clothing for his "ladyfriends" at the nearby Target. No mention of buying himself a new pair of shorts.
One of my co-workers probably put it best: "Wow. I can only imagine the look of surprise on his girlfriends' faces when the police pulled up."
Priceless.
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