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Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Rockin' and Rollin'

Last week, while watching the first episode of "Rock Star: Supernova," I voted the band "Supernova" (The so-called supergroup of Tommy Lee, Gilby Clarke and Jason Newsted) as "band most likely to blow up before ever playing a single gig." Interestingly enough, it just dawned on me that the word "Supernova" itself describes an explosion of galactic proportions.

Hmmmmm...

Despite my better judgement, I've been sucked in by another season of "Rock Star." One "rocker" has already been eliminated by the band... trust me, it wasn't a great loss. He had an o.k. voice, but started out singing "Yellow" by Coldplay. Not the best choice to audition for a band comprised of former members of Motley Crue, Metallica, and Guns 'N' Roses. So, they told him that he really needed to pick a song that "rocked" a little more. He came back with Duran Duran.

Now, I like Duran Duran as much as any other girl who was a teenager in the 80s. But seriously... did this guy really think that they rock? I mean, he didn't even play a late-80s D2 song... when they got a little grittier. Nope. He played something from their first, and most poppy album.

Ok, so there are 14 "Rockers" left. My thoughts? First of all, the women, as a whole, are much, much more talented than the men. Here's my summary, from best to worst:

Storm- By far, the best of the women on the show. She can sing, she can scream, she has the rock-star swagger. She even has a cool name, which she claims is her real name. I find her phenomenally annoying to watch, but she could start today as a lead singer for an ass-kicking rock band.
Lukas- As far as the men go, he's the best. The first night on the show, he sang Billy Idol's "Rebel Yell," and he brought the house down. He has a great gritty voice, amazing stage presence, and unique style. But his eyebrows are going to drive me crazy.
Dilana- Whoa. A little bipolar. Crazy, gritty, dirty voice, but she can sing. I worry about the metal stud she has in her chin. It makes me nervous.
Magni- He's apparently a big star in Iceland. Seriously. That isn't a joke. He's the lead singer of some rock band in Iceland, and they have two gold albums. The first episode, I was pretty uninspired by him, but then he sang "My Generation" tonight, and was great. My take? He won't get the "Supernova" gig, but his band will have a couple hits in the US as a result of his appearance on the show.
Patrice- Her voice is a little too good to be a rock singer. But she can play guitar and has a lot of tattoos, so I'll give her the benefit of the doubt. And she's old like me, so I'm rooting for her.
Toby- Cute. Talented. Australian. A nice voice, and he can rock, too. But sometimes looks a little confused on stage.
Jill- The first night, she was a little too pretty. She looked like Pamela Anderson trying to be a rock star (Which might work for Tommy Lee... but what about the rest of the band). Tonight, she overcompensated and tried to do some kind of Courtney Love impression. Except, unlike Courtney Love, she can sing.
Jenny- She's good... but a little blah. The fact that I can't remember what she sang on the show an hour ago says something.
Dana- A really nice voice. Too nice. She sounds like Kelly Clarkson. And though Kelly Clarkson is a talented pop star, she's not a rock singer.
Ryan- Kind of the male version of Jenny. He's an o.k. singer, but I've already forgotten what song he did tonight. Maybe a Franz Ferdinand song? I really can't remember.
Chris- Ruined "Roxanne" by The Police on the first show. One of the Supernova guys (Gilby maybe?) Actually said "that sucked" to Chris after the performance. And while he redeemed himself on the elimination show, he just doesn't impress me very much.
Josh- Thinks he's on "American Idol." He looks like it, acts like it, and in particular, sings like it. He should have auditioned there instead. Oh, and his mom is a karaoke DJ, so that's where he learned to sing. You can't make this sh*t up.
Phil
- Couldn't carry a tune if you gave him a bucket. He's almost always in the wrong key for at least the first verse of every song.
Zayra- A nightmare. Horrible voice, can't find the right key to save her life. Weirdo stage presence. Oh, and she offended each and every member of the band, so I guess she's going out with a blaze of glory.

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