Confirmation

We've all known for a long, long time that I'm a freak of nature. Well, last week it was medically confirmed.

In the last three months, I've been to the doctor more times than I'd been in the previous three years. And despite the fact that I'm relatively healthy, apparently I have a series of medical abnormalities that I never even realized.

Without getting into too much detail about my more private parts... on Wednesday morning, I got to spend some of the afternoon lying on a table, getting probed. I'll leave the part that was probed out of the discussion... I'm sure your imagination can come up with something good.

Anyway, the technician doing the probing was watching a readout on a screen (not visible, of course, to me), and started talking to the nurse in the room.

"Hey," she said, getting the nurse's attention. "do you see this?"

"Wow," the nurse responded. "I've never seen one like that."

"I wonder what the doctor is going to do with this?"

The alarmed look on my face finally got her attention, and she explained what was "different" about me. Apparently, I'm a medical oddity. Not like a one-in-a-million, touring with the Lobster Boy and the Chicken Lady kind of oddity. More like a one-in-a-hundred freak.

So, she assured me that I'm not completely abnormal, and that I should function properly as a result of said deformity. And then she dropped the bombshell: Apparently, people with my particular medical issue also tend to be... get this... missing a kidney.

More poking, prodding, and eventually an ultrasound test revealed that I indeed have two kidneys. However, there's a good chance that only one of them works. Guess what that means? Yep. More tests. Monday morning, I have to go to the hospital and have an IVP. Oh happy day.

Being a freak ain't easy.