Sinking To New Depths

Just when I thought network television had already scraped the bottom of the barrel, I spy an article about a new sitcom in development for CBS. Apparently,
Bobby Knight could soon be coming to a television near you.

We Will Rock You

For the first time ever, Iranians can legally purchase recordings of rock music. The first CD of western music available in Iran? Queen's Greatest Hits.

Somewhere, Freddie Mercury is smiling.

Midnight Stroll

Tonight, after work, instead of coming home and plopping my lazy butt on the couch, I hauled my lazy butt up the street to get some good ol' fashioned exercise.

Exercise, you ask? Who is this woman and what has she done with our Sportlady?

I know it seems a little out of character, but I couldn't resist the Country's Midnight Express, a 5K run here in the C-Town. At work tonight, Gretchen coerced Cory and I into doing the "race" with her.

I put "race" in quotation marks because there wasn't really any "racing" with us. More on that in a minute.

So after work, we hustled up the street to Country's for the big event. And it was seriously a very big event. I'd guess that there were about 3,000 people there. Gretchen's boyfriend Josh was also doing the race, but he was planning on running. Well, those of you that know me know that running isn't my thing. Nor is it Cory's idea of fun. So Cory, Gretchen, and I, along with her dog, Ella, decided we'd just walk the course.

Funny thing. I had to run back to the truck to get a bottle of water, and by the time I got back, we somehow missed the start of the race. We walked up to the start line, and everyone was already off. My watch said it was just 11:59. So much for the "midnight" express.

How far behind were we? We decided to jog until we at least caught up to the police car that was tailing the very last people. That's right. We were behind the police escort. oops.

Josh ran the 5K in 26 minutes. We finished in about 58 minutes. Not too impressive... but considering we finished the first mile at 20 minutes, we must have picked up the pace and finished strong. That's worth something, right?

Though we finished in front of quite a few people, they were already out of sandwiches and sweet tea by the time we got to the finish line. Missing the sandwich didn't bother me, since I don't really like the food at Country's. However, their sweet tea is divine.

I was pretty excited by the quality of the race T-shirt, though. It was really nice. A dark grey pocket-tee, and it's even embroidered on the front. Definitely the nicest race T-shirt I've ever gotten.

Olympic Notes, Week 2

A few thoughts on the 2004 Summer Games:

1) This afternoon, I actually felt a little sorry for Jim Lampley. He's hosting NBC's daytime coverage of the Olympics, and here's the events that he had to tease at the top of the show:

• Men's beach volleyball (between Spain and Brazil)
• Rowing
• Short-Track bicycling
• Synchronized swimming

And the guy had to sound excited about these events. He might as well have said "Today on our daytime Olympic coverage, all of the events that you don't care about, or even better, the events that people often mock."

2) Is there anything... anything... funnier about watching weightlifting than hearing the line "Fans, we've just seen a new world-record snatch?"

A Buck's a Buck, right?

It was movie night again for the O&O household. Even though it was payday on Tuesday, we still went the cheap route and headed out to the dollar theater. The only movie playing late enough was "King Arthur." While I only found it to be mildly bad, Cory's not even sure that it was worth the hundred pennies he shelled out for it.

Leaving the theater, I felt the need to point out the movie poster to Cory. Keira Knightly is the only marquee star in the movie, and apparently, someone found the need to "sex it up" a little for the poster. Check it out.

Atlanta Falcons 2004 Preview

Tonight, I was reviewing video of the Falcons' preseason win over Minnesota from last week. I have two important facts to share with you.

1) Atlanta punter Chris Mohr co-wrote a song on Travis Tritt's new album. I guess when you're a punter, you always need a backup career.

2) Keith Brooking has grown a goatee. Ok... technically, Keith Brooking has grown a "Van Dyck," but how many people know what a Van Dyck is? Anyway, he looks very good. And how can you not love a linebacker with a degree in mechanical engineering? It's the best of both worlds.

Urgent Olympic Update

Marian Dragulescu of Romania took the silver medal in the men's floor exercise on Sunday. This is significant because he's the winner of the inaugural Sportslady's "Best Legs in the Olympics" award.

I first noticed his legs during the team competition last week. Most of the gymnasts wear shorts for the floor exercises, then put their stirrup pants on for some of the other apparatus. I admit, I was a little disappointed when he put his big-boy pants back on.

Give me a break. I'm only human.

Meet the "Girlie Men"

This year, I succumbed to the pressure and joined a fantasy football league. No, it's not because I feel the need to beat the boys at their own game... and it's certainly not so I can show off my vast knowledge of the NFL (I did so poorly in last year's football pool that I quit after just six weeks).

I did it to get Cory off my back.

See, last football season, I was subjected to dozens upon dozens of fantasy football discussions. Cory constantly informed me of the minutae of every single player... maybe every single play... that impacted his fantasy team. By the end of the season, I was helping him calculate his scores. Of course, he appreciated the help, saying that I was the only person that could help him out. Everyone else (whose opinion he trusted) was involved in the fantasy league, and therefore he couldn't ask them for help.

That's when I saw the light. If I was in the league, then he couldn't tell me about his team every waking hour of the day!

As the only woman in this year's pool, I named my team the "Girlie Men Express." Picture them in pink helmets and purple tights. And no, Jeff Garcia's not on the team... though some suspect that he may be playing for the other team.

Here's the lineup:
Quarterbacks- Steve "Air" McNair, Joey Harrington
Wide Receivers- Marvin Harrison, Keenan McCardell, Rod Smith, Brandon Lloyd, Reggie Williams
Running Backs- Ahman Green, Domanick Davis, Brian Westbrook, Charlie Garner, Moe Williams (the pride of the Spencer Greenwaves)
Tight Ends- Jeremy Shockey (my token mullet), Desmond Clark
Kicker (and really, aren't all kickers "girlie men?)- Jason Elam

Another One Bites the Dust?

I noticed something really strange when I got in to work today. One of my co-workers had completely cleaned out their desk. Apparently, this person showed up late Friday night and cleared out. I don't know what to make of it, though I have to say that nearly every one of my co-workers has fantasized about doing the very same thing for about the last year.

None of us have the cajones to do it.

Actually, it's not the cajones we need... it's the cushion in our savings accounts. I think nearly everyone in my department would leave at the drop of a hat if we didn't have to pay those pesky bills.

My job used to be fun. What happened?

Stupid Toolbar

Notice something wrong with this webpage?

How 'bout the fact that it doesn't say "Postcards from Columbus" at the top any more?

It isn't by choice. This weekend, Blogger got rid of the ads that appear at the top of everyone's webpages. Cool, huh? The problem is, they replaced it with that Blogger toolbar that covers up the top of my site.

What's up with that? I want my title back! And I'm far too lazy to rewrite the HTML code to make it appear.

Anthem Snob

First, a confession. I admit it, I'm an anthem snob.

Allow me to explain. As a sports reporter/anchor, I hear the national anthem probably more than anyone else on the planet. Some days I hear it as many as four or five times, at events ranging from high school softball games to pro hockey games. I love when teams play a pre-recorded instrumental version of the anthem, because it typically means it'll go fast. I hate when teams audition local "talent" to perform the national anthem, because they always ruin it.

I know what you're thinking... What, exactly, do I mean by "ruining" the anthem? Am I talking about all the Mariah Carey wanna-bes of the world, who feel the need to jazz up the anthem by showing off their vocal stylings with lenghty "woah, woah, woahs?" Sure, but that's only part of it.

For all of the patriotic posturing I've seen here in the South, a startlingly low number of people seem to actually know the lyrics to "The Star-Spangled Banner."

For example, it's not "...And the rockets red glare, bombs are bursting in air," though at least 50 people I've heard seem to believe that those are the correct words.

I've also heard "...were so galaxy streaming," "...were so gallantly screaming," and a whole litany of other hideously incorrect lyrics.

I won't even get into the issues they have with the melody, though I will add that people around here tend to sing the phrase "early light" in the wrong key, giving the song a very ominous tone. They turn it from a tune in the key of, say G-Major into G-minor.

To be perfectly honest, I think "The Star Spangled Banner" is a pretty crappy national anthem. Go ahead, call me a traitor, but first hear me out: Very little of the populus has the vocal range to sing it correctly. Instead, most of us are confined to either dropping down an ocvave when we reach those glaring rockets... or simply mouthing the words while someone more competent sings nearby. What's the purpose of having an anthem that the citizens can't sing?

Second, the song's about a battle in a war. Personally, I don't think that really fits with the image that we try to portray, as keepers of the peace. God knows much of the world identifiesus with war, so I guess it's not entirely inappropriate. Here's the problem, though. The Star Spangled Banner isn't about a battle in the American Revolution, which would at least make sense. Nope, it's about a battle in the War of 1812.

I used to really like it when I worked during Detroit Pistons games, and the pre-game singers wouldn't always sing the national anthem. Nope, sometimes it would be "God Bless America," sometimes "America the Beautiful," my personal favorite ("Oh beautiful, for spacious skies..." It always makes me think of Ray Charles.)

So What's the Point?

That's probably what you're asking, after reading my anthem rant. To be honest, I don't have much of one, other than the fact that I HATE it when people screw up the anthem. If you're going to sing the song in public, learn the words, and learn the melody. Ugh.

The reason I've been thinking about all of this is because of the Olympics. I've been watching a lot of the action from Athens, and every time the U.S.A wins a gold medal, we're subjected to quite possibly one of the worst recorded versions of the anthem in history. It's truly awful. The melody is drowned out by the harmony, to the point where the song is nearly unrecognizable.

On the other hand, "Advance Australia Fair," the Australian anthem, sounds great. It almost makes me want to see Ian Thorpe beat Michael Phelps more often.

No Rest for the Weary

Sorry I haven't been blogging much, kids... but I've been pooped out. The summary:

1) Vacation last week in Michigan. Left for the Great Lakes State on Monday, arrived around 6pm. Drove to Columbus, Ohio on Tuesday morning. Stayed the night in Ohio, drove back to Michigan on Wednesday morning. Thursday, rested up for the next mini-trip, to Mackinaw City/Mackinac Island. Left for Mackinaw City Friday morning. Mackinac Island Saturday. Drove back on Sunday. Flew back to Georgia on a 6:30 am flight Monday morning. Was at work Monday by 2:30. Worked until 1 am.

2) Been working ever since. Dave's on vacation this week. Translation: No days off for the sportslady.

3) Major softball tournament in town. That means I had to be at South Commons at 10 am today. Worked from 10 am until midnight. (I did take about an hour off to run home and take a shower. So sue me for being hygenic.) Meanwhile, Cory got to go see the Braves play the Cardinals at Turner Field while I was working my butt off. And he got to go for free, too. Weenie.

4) High school football season starts Friday. I'm not ready for it. Give me a couple more weeks? Pleeeeeeaaase???

Sometime, I'll tell you a little more about my trip up north. I just don't have the energy to do it tonight. Besides, Ten Big Ones is waiting for me.

Civic Duty

Today was election day here in Georgia, and I have to admit, I slacked on my civic duty.

I did, however, take the time out to vote on one issue today... the finals of the only reality show I like, "Last Comic Standing."

John Heffron's been getting my vote. None of them had a particularly great set in the finals, but Heffron's a funny dude. And he's from Detroit. Ok, he's actually from South Lyon, but that's close enough.

Update: Heffron won! There is justice in the world.

Welcome Wagon

The Welcome Wagon didn't exactly give me a warm reception on my return from Michigan. Today, on my way to work, it was pouring rain.

I know I've mentioned in the past that Columbus drivers are horrible. In general, drivers in the South tend to be pretty bad, but this city really takes the cake. Everyone drives insanely fast, and at least four or five people will zip through a traffic signal after it turns red.

So on my drive to work, the person in the car in front of me gave me every indication that they weren't planning on stopping at a yellow light. The lack of brake lights was the clue. Since it was pouring out, I was planning on following them through the light rather than testing my brakes on the slick road.

Well, something made them change their minds, and at the last second, the weenie in front of me decided to slam on her brakes and stop for the light. Bad move. I hit my brakes, which of course locked up, and I began skidding towards her bumper.

I remember thinking, "I can't wreck my car. I don't have enough money saved up for a downpayment for a new car!" In the slow-motion moments before impact, I assessed my options: 1. Rear-end the car in front of me, or 2. Yank my steering wheel so that I crash into the eight-inch high concrete median in the middle of the road.

So I yanked my wheel to the left, hit the median with a loud bang, hopped the curb, slowed to a stop, and breathed a sigh of relief. By the way, the woman in the car in front of me had braked so late for the light that she was stopped in the middle of the intersection, and needed to back up so that other cars could get through the light. But that's beside the point.

I slowly backed my car of the median, prayed that I hadn't hurt my baby in any way, and waited for the light to change. When I tried to get through the light, my car went thump-thump-thump-thump. I coasted to a decent place to stop my car, got out and assessed the damage. I've never seen a flatter tire. Of course, I'd also never seen a tire with a three-inch-long gash in it until today.

The good news? This all happened within two tenths of a mile from where I take my car for repairs. The bad news? I was already running a little late for work... and this wasn't going to make things any easier.

Since it was raining, I scurried across the street to the nearest pay phone and called work. I told them I'd be very late, and tried to track down Cory. I needed someone to pick me up and take me to work, but no luck. Nobody could find him anywhere in the building.

I tried his cell phone and got his voice mail. By this time, I was about ready to cry. I left this really pathetic voice message, but didn't bother telling him where I was because I was planning on going over to the auto shop and begging one of them for a ride to work.

Meanwhile, Cory was on his way to go vote, and happened to pass my car on the side of the road. Talk about serendipity. He drove me over to the auto repair place, waited for the tow truck with me, then drove me back to work. I can't believe he just happened to be driving by at exactly the right time.

Now, I just have to wait to find out if I bent my axle. Hopefully, a blown tire is the worst of my problems.

Homeward Bound

In about 16 hours, I'll be airborne over Atlanta, on my way to another trip back home to visit the fam. I always end up taking a vacation sometime in August... it helps me to get my head on straight before high school football season starts. And since the season starts a week earlier this year, I need all the help I can get.

No big plans for the trip... we're taking a couple little road trips while I'm back home, and I'll probably try to catch up with a few old friends. Not that they're old... that would imply that I'm old.

I did feel pretty old last night, actually. I was driving home from work, and "Never Say Goodbye" by Bon Jovi was on the radio. That was our prom theme song. Seventeen years ago. It doesn't seem like that long since Bon Jovi was in his heyday, but there it was. Yeesh.

But back to the topic of my vacation. One pretty nice vacation-oriented thing just happened to me. I went to the Delta Airlines website to double-check my itinerary, and it told me that I have over 26,000 "SkyMiles" on my frequent flyer card! Yahoo! That's a free domestic flight (coach class, of course). Not too shabby. I keep telling Cory I'm saving up the miles so that we can finance our honeymoon on frequent-flyer miles. Of course, first we'd have to get married.

Not that I'm hinting, of course.